Joke
05 October 2007, 12:09 PM
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Joke
An Irish man finds a sandwich in the gutter with 2 red wires sticking out of it.
He calls the police and say's "Help me bejesus, I’ve found a sandwich that looks like a bomb."
The operator say's "Is it ticking?"
The Irish man say's "No, I tink it's beef"
He calls the police and say's "Help me bejesus, I’ve found a sandwich that looks like a bomb."
The operator say's "Is it ticking?"
The Irish man say's "No, I tink it's beef"
05 October 2007, 12:17 PM
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A masked man goes into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter, and say's, "Open the safe."
She say's, "This isn't a real bank, it's a sperm bank."
He say's, "Open the safe or I'll shoot." She opens the safe, and he say's, "Now take one of the bottles and drink it."
After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman realizes the robber is her husband.
He say's, "Now you see? It's not so difficult, is it?"
It's the way I tell 'em
She say's, "This isn't a real bank, it's a sperm bank."
He say's, "Open the safe or I'll shoot." She opens the safe, and he say's, "Now take one of the bottles and drink it."
After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman realizes the robber is her husband.
He say's, "Now you see? It's not so difficult, is it?"
It's the way I tell 'em
05 October 2007, 12:19 PM
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A masked man goes into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter, and say's, "Open the safe."
She say's, "This isn't a real bank, it's a sperm bank."
He say's, "Open the safe or I'll shoot." She opens the safe, and he say's, "Now take one of the bottles and drink it."
After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman realizes the robber is her husband.
He say's, "Now you see? It's not so difficult, is it?"
It's the way I tell 'em
She say's, "This isn't a real bank, it's a sperm bank."
He say's, "Open the safe or I'll shoot." She opens the safe, and he say's, "Now take one of the bottles and drink it."
After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman realizes the robber is her husband.
He say's, "Now you see? It's not so difficult, is it?"
It's the way I tell 'em
05 October 2007, 12:35 PM
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3 sisters Ann, Jan & Fanny all have big feet. Ann & Jan go on a date
and one of the boys says "Jesus, you have big feet!" Ann replies "You
should see the size of our Fanny's!"
************************************************** **************
Paddy buys a bath, but takes it back the next day complaining the
water
keeps running out. The manager asks "Did you buy a plug?"
Paddy replies, "You didn't say it was electric!"
************************************************** **************
In the newspaper it said 'Please look after your neighbours in the
cold
weather'. Our neighbour is an 87 year old woman - not once has she
come
round to check if we are alright. The lazy b*tch hasn't even taken in
her milk for 2 weeks!
************************************************** **************
Farmer Giles gets a phone call from his farm hand.
"I've run over a pig and it's stuck under the tractor, still
alive...."
"Shoot it", says the farmer, "and then bury him".
A little while later he gets another phone call.
"Done that, what should I do with his speed camera?!"
************************************************** **************
I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me
"Oi, what's your disability mate?"
"Tourettes, now f*** off!", I said.
Boom Boom!
and one of the boys says "Jesus, you have big feet!" Ann replies "You
should see the size of our Fanny's!"
************************************************** **************
Paddy buys a bath, but takes it back the next day complaining the
water
keeps running out. The manager asks "Did you buy a plug?"
Paddy replies, "You didn't say it was electric!"
************************************************** **************
In the newspaper it said 'Please look after your neighbours in the
cold
weather'. Our neighbour is an 87 year old woman - not once has she
come
round to check if we are alright. The lazy b*tch hasn't even taken in
her milk for 2 weeks!
************************************************** **************
Farmer Giles gets a phone call from his farm hand.
"I've run over a pig and it's stuck under the tractor, still
alive...."
"Shoot it", says the farmer, "and then bury him".
A little while later he gets another phone call.
"Done that, what should I do with his speed camera?!"
************************************************** **************
I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me
"Oi, what's your disability mate?"
"Tourettes, now f*** off!", I said.
Boom Boom!
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