SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

Right you lot, I need some help

My first time as best man this coming Sunday and as usual I have done the square root of diddly about it

Crowd of friends and strangers, older people in the audience as well

So based on the above, please help out a complete buffoon

I can talk in front of people, I can tell jokes (as displayed on here ), but I am just at a loss on where to start.

I guess, I should get a book or go online for all the websites that cover this sort of thing, but I would value your input.

cheers

The Zohan

Go and spend some time with the grooms parents, brother and sisters if you want to dish the dirt and really get to know him and his past, i did and it worked a treat, lots of material and you then edit it to suit.

Dinner and a few bottles of wine is a good approach to this exercise.

Good luck!

Group N4

A 'safe option'

sample wedding speeches

just take out the better bits from different speeches - or if your really lazy just use one of the speeches and replace names where appropriate

Scoobychick

iTrader: (1)

There's your first problem

richardg

...and if anyone gets up to go to the loo whilst you're talking just say "oi, i don;t walk around the room when you're performing..." - may help divert the attention if you're struggling

Lee247

You need to find out as many embarrassing stories, as you can, from his birth to date

billythekid

I did one about a month ago. Horrible tbh, and I dont think I will be in a rush to do another! I dont really like speaking in public - and I had not done any major prep - just a few bullet points. Turn up at the church - all goes to plan, off to the reception to find a full on camera crew setting up...

The speeches were all filmed with 2 camera angles and mics etc etc.

David Lock

Try a Search - there are more threads on SN about best man speeches than there are threads about banning PSL

Finding some proper jokes from your posts may be more of a challenge though

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

there are some good bits on there..thx much appreciated

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

david, you cruel cruel man, there you are knocking me in my hour of need
(though at least it is good preparation for the hecklers )

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

lesley
I have a few , though none I can really tell without getting some withering stories from his new wife
and I think it best to steer away from the stag night stories

scoobychick....I would infract you for that .grrrr

lozgti

unlucky

Is it on you tube or anything yet?

As to OP,keep it simple and don't get plastered pre speech

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

cheers..I dont intend to touch a drop of the hard stuff until I have made a fool of both myself and him

Kieran_Burns

iTrader: (1)

This page might help: Best Man Speech at confetti.co.uk

You ARE aware that the Best Mans speech is the one EVERYONE looks forward to....

BlkKnight

Use printed photo's & props distributed on tables to help divert attention from yourself.

I'd be inclined NOT to use any of the "usual" jokes as most people have heard em before and they are impersonal.

Kieran_Burns

iTrader: (1)

I always like the "could his ex-girlfriends give their keys back now" gag. Where masses of girls all get up and drop a key off

I heard (on a site) when this was done and the only one to give a key back was his new mother in-law!!!

BOB.T

A couple of glasses of Port beforehand worked a treat for me!

I reckon you need a laugh from your first line to get everyone on side, which isn't hard really cos your audience wants you to do well For my first speech I mentioned how it was such an emotional day even the cake was in tiers (off someone on here!) and the second time started doing the pre flight safety guff, both seemed to get a laugh!

Good luck, you'll enjoy it afterwards!

astraboy

I went to a wedding a few weeks back where there was a best lady rather than a best man.

her speech was warm rather than embarrasing and IMO all the better for it. With that in mind concentrate on funny things he's done rather embarrassing ones.

As well as that, try not to worry about giving the speech, although its true its the one that everyone looks forward to, its also true that everyone in the room is on your side and will laugh at anything even slightly humourous.
astraboy.

New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

Oh and don't forget to open with the classic:

How do you stop a woman from giving you a *******?

Marry her!!!

Ns 'It's the way I tell em' 04

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

keep them coming people, its warming to see so much advice (well apart from you NS04 you barsteward )

Big_Papa_T

I did one last month. Before toasting the bride and groom use this line, guaranteed to get everyone p*ssing themselves and a cuff round the lug from the brides father:

There seems to be some confusion about where <groom> and <bride> are going on their honeymoon. Like most of you here today I thought they were going to <where they are going> but after speaking to <groom> last night I'm not sure if that's still the case. I now think they may actually be going to North Wales as all <groom> told me was that he is going to Bangor for a week.

David Lock

OK - when you stand up look around the room and the guests carefully and closely.

Then say "Well welcome everyone. As a matter of fact I was here (insert name of village/place) recently when I addressed the local AA meeting.

- pause -

I must say it's nice to see so many familiar faces"

(you can smile at the in-laws for the last line)

Jamie

at the last few comments

Luan Pra bang

Hello welcome to x and y's wedding my names swiss and i have been granted the title best man today although its a title my mum said I deserved all along. The sharper of you will note that I said the brides name last this is in honour of the bride having the last word in their relationship from now on. I would first like to tell you the order of speeches, THe father of the bride will be first followed by the groom himself and last of all for those still awake will be my own five hour character assination. then and only then you can finish your dinner. PLease clap for dave the father of the bride.


That will do for a start

Luan Pra bang

Remember to read the online stuff and ignore all the tired old jokes that appear on those sites again and again.

jods

New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

Good way of ending the speech:

That's enough of me rambling on, but before I sit down, I've had a few requests, but the microphone is too big!

Ns04

speedking

There seems to be some confusion about where <groom> and <bride> are going on their honeymoon. Like most of you here today I thought they were going to <where they are going> but after speaking to <wife> last night I'm not sure if that's still the case.

She told me she'd been out getting some American dollars. I said she should be getting Euros (e.g.). She said that <groom> said when this event was over he was going to Tampa with her.

Avi

I used that one last year.. and they were actually going for a honeymoon in Wales.. brought the house down!