Clarkson Quotes
16 August 2007, 03:39 PM
#1
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Clarkson Quotes
"I dont often agree with the RSPCA as i believe it is an animals duty to be on my plate at supper time"
"there are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face"
"Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face. "
"Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it, if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under the tweed. I do, and it helps."
"you cant have this car with a diesel, its like saying, i wont go to stringfellows tonight, ill get
my mum to give me a lapdance, shes a woman!"
"During the break we got complaints that we don't show enough green cars so here's one..."
Pointing to a Lamborghini Murcielago... in bright green
Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I
guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.
"there are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face"
"Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face. "
"Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it, if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under the tweed. I do, and it helps."
"you cant have this car with a diesel, its like saying, i wont go to stringfellows tonight, ill get
my mum to give me a lapdance, shes a woman!"
"During the break we got complaints that we don't show enough green cars so here's one..."
Pointing to a Lamborghini Murcielago... in bright green
Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I
guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.
16 August 2007, 09:15 PM
#6
his comments on Gordon Brown rise in the opinion polls
And how in the name of all that’s holy can this possibly be a basis for choosing a system of government? Are you really saying that we must endure another five years of Labour’s bossiness and bullying simply because its leader went to see some fat old crow in Tewkesbury whose ghastly button-backed DFS furniture had got a bit soggy?
And how in the name of all that’s holy can this possibly be a basis for choosing a system of government? Are you really saying that we must endure another five years of Labour’s bossiness and bullying simply because its leader went to see some fat old crow in Tewkesbury whose ghastly button-backed DFS furniture had got a bit soggy?
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16 August 2007, 11:01 PM
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17 August 2007, 09:06 AM
#12
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Found some more....
"Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the
show......so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!"
On the Lotus Elise:
"This car is more fun than the entire french air force crashing into a firework factory"
"I would still buy the DB9 over this, and save myself the £60,000. The problem with this car is its gearbox, its just........"
Hammond:"THAT bad is it?"
Clarkson:"Oh no. Robert Mugabe is bad, this is in a whole different league!"
In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.
"the DB9 has rear seats but no mammal yet created, not even when God was on the LSD trip that gave us the pink flamingo, could fit into them."
Assessing Hammond's crash:
Clarkson:"you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. now why didnt you spot that?!"
Hammond:"I had a lot on: i was doing 288 mph."
Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the
paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"
"Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer."
"Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the
show......so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!"
On the Lotus Elise:
"This car is more fun than the entire french air force crashing into a firework factory"
"I would still buy the DB9 over this, and save myself the £60,000. The problem with this car is its gearbox, its just........"
Hammond:"THAT bad is it?"
Clarkson:"Oh no. Robert Mugabe is bad, this is in a whole different league!"
In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.
"the DB9 has rear seats but no mammal yet created, not even when God was on the LSD trip that gave us the pink flamingo, could fit into them."
Assessing Hammond's crash:
Clarkson:"you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. now why didnt you spot that?!"
Hammond:"I had a lot on: i was doing 288 mph."
Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the
paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"
"Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer."
17 August 2007, 01:23 PM
#15
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I doubt its all the scriptwriters. Do people forget he is actually a journalist as well?? and has been for oh roughly 20 - 25 years.
I have all of his books and they are written in the same way his columns in the paper is and also how he talks on TV. Yes he has a somewhat script to follow, more like instructions, but I'd say the phrases he uses are more his own words.
I have all of his books and they are written in the same way his columns in the paper is and also how he talks on TV. Yes he has a somewhat script to follow, more like instructions, but I'd say the phrases he uses are more his own words.
17 August 2007, 07:31 PM
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anyone remember the exact clarkson quote some years ago when he was talking about car drivers of the same cars going to meets etc
something along the lines of "just because I drive the same car as you, doesnt mean I want to be your best friend / want to drink with you / meet outside pubs with you" etc etc
something along the lines of "just because I drive the same car as you, doesnt mean I want to be your best friend / want to drink with you / meet outside pubs with you" etc etc
18 August 2007, 02:28 AM
#22
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