Just witnessed a conversation between two ladies at my work who were talking about brushing their cat's teeth. The (older lady) hand feeds hers, then brushes it's teeth after every meal. She frequently phones checking if the vet has her stock of moggy toothpaste in ???

Fair enough treating them like surrogate children (oops, just spotted a potential common theme here ) but the older of the ladies never ever lets hers out...she stays in the country ffs.... The poor cats must be drooling at the windows simply gagging on a field mouse to chase !!

The younger of the two coleagues was literally traumatised at work yesterday as her Felix or whatever brought in a live mouse to play with before she left for work .... the discussion between the two of them yesterday, you would have thought a murder had been committted in the village. It's a feckin cat, that's what they do.

Just don't get it

 

Tell you what else i noticed recently, an advert for Cesar small dog food. One of the most lifestlye-orientated contrived adverts i've seen for a long time. Directed firmly and squarely at the single young professional woman with small yappy dog for company.

 

People with small dogs normally have deep seated emotional issues and very often are clinically depressed and mentally unstable. You only have to look at the stars on TV and in magazines to see this. It's a cry for help, an attention seeking accessory. These people often starve themselves just for fame as even bad attention is still attention.

 

Hand feeds it you say
You sure shes not spreading it on and letting the little fella lick it off

 

Women who have cats are just plain odd. Avoid as more mental than the rest.

 

I've always wondered why they don't do bird & mouse flavoured cat foods

 

If you knew my 'aesthetically unpalletable colleague' then that visualisation would make you feels as sick as I do now



Thanks for that

 

Oh the irony of "gourmet" (and I hate that word) cat and dog food. Oh yes we all know cats and dogs will eat their own shít so obviously have no sense of taste. They would even eat another animals shít, sick it up and then east it all again

 

Agree. Back in the day I'd always treat relationships with cat owning women as short term. At first it was becase I hate cats but liked getting my leg over, but looking back and summising my exit polls - its true, cat owning females are more mental

 

Our old cat is a real personality. He is 23 years old, which is extremly old in the human equivalent.

He has never had his teeth brushed, and just soldiers on living a full life in the fields around here. Doesn't chase birds anymore, just lies in the garden while they walk around him

It is difficult to think of life without him.

Les

 

He's enjoying his retirement Les

Quite right too

 

23 in cat years or Human years ??

Thats actually really impressive even for cat

 

Ahhhhh, so there are variations in women's "mentalness" ?

Wish I'd known that years ago !

 

C'mon Les, show us some pics of the old lad !

Andy

 

He means the Cat Les!! Just to be clear!

 

I thought it was a well known fact all women are mental.... it's just finding one less mental than the rest you have to concern yourself with

 

 

That was my impression too Which is why I've advised my stepson just to make sure he gets one with decent t!ts, because underneath they're all the same

 

chicken?

 

seen one fly recently ?

 

still counts

 

 

1 cat is ok, two acceptable but any more than that and my theory that the oddness of any given woman rises proportionately and by an order of magnitude for each additional feline, the degeneration really goes out of control when the woman is single, when single having more than four cats qualifies you to be known by local children as 'The Cat Woman', eight cats and above gets you a guest appearance on either 'Life of Grime' or 'How clean is your house', you have cat turds on your worktop, wear the same smelly cardigan day in day out, smoke roll ups and spend all your money on Cat food.

My reasearch in this area allows me to predict with 97% accuracy based on a questionairre how many cats a woman owns, the numbers suggest that certain ladies on here own at least 5.

 

I have three and if anyone wants one or all of them just drop me a pm

 

Your cats have caused you some cataclysmic mishaps and how could you just give them away like that?

 

cost
number of dead frogs scattered across my lounge, kitchen, bathroom and even bedroom
fur piles on my bed
being woken up at 6am on a saturday
damage to plants and flowers
eating my dinner if i turn my back for a second
trying to sit on the keyboard whilst I type
doing an andrex with the loo roll

 

OMG! You have me so right, apart from the starving myself.......... I really like me food!! Buying my 2 miniature Dachshunds must mean I have a underlying desire to be famous!

 

First cat's a cat. Second cat's a boyfriend. Third cat is a girlfriend. Fourth cat is....steer well clear! D

 

Well when you put it like that.......

 

I've got two cats and a husband, so how does ^^ work then