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Scumball rally 2007, full report!

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Old 24 April 2007, 04:58 PM
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astraboy
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Default Scumball rally 2007, full report!

Having come off last years rally vowing if nothing else but to do it all over again (cos lets face it, I have a tendency to do things I like repeatedly), it came to pass that Team CLSM came together once more to do what they do best. The 2007 Scumball rally.

With a 3 Litre Omega MV6 fully stickered up and parked up on the startline at Goodwood, myself, Davespice and Rave Dolphin were ready to go!


The rest of the field was equally impressive, with a variety of vehiclesranging from the sublime to the ridiculous. A large number of BMWs, mixed in with Rover 820s, Calibras and even a couple of ambulances. Heres a few of my personal favourites.





After eying up the competition, it was time for the launch party, complete with driver sign on and and charity sponsorship handover. Most of this was done via our just giving sponsorship page, but all offline donations were handed over there and then.

Once inside, we spent an enjoyable few hours catching up with entrants we knew from last year and getting to know the newcomers. There was a bar, but in true scumball style, we brought our own.


At about 11.30, it was time to make our way down to Dover to get the ferry across. A combination of cross country roads and motorways made for some interesting Convoy driving.

However, the wheel does come off early on, quite literally, when a distinct wobble develops. I pull over to find the front nearside wheel held on with two bolts instead of the usual five.

Luckily I had fitted locking wheelnuts and kept the originals in the car. We were on our way soon after fitting these and tightening the barstewards up properly this time.


Arriving at Dover, we had a opportunity for a few hours sleep, but not before all registrations were taken by the french immigration officials. In light of this, the first driver briefing was held on the ferry.

In this brief we were told we had to try to enter the continent stealth stylee in an effort to get in "under the radar". We also get our first route card. Our first checkpoint is in brussels, after that, we overnight in stuttgart.

Upon disembarking, as requested, we keep it subtle till we clear the port, not even having to hand over our passports, a collective decision is taken to make a dash for the Belgian border, not even stopping for fuel until we cross it.

Once inside, we make for Brussels. Last year we had to buy something to get our stage time, but this time the time didnt matter, the recipt was just to prove you'd been there.

We wasted about an hour in brussels finding the bloody place (you had to find a specific mcdonalds in a town in a challange without satnav) thereafter we go for Stuttgart.

Look on a map, Stuttgart is a bloody long way from Brussels, so we hook up with a couple of other rally entrants and go in convoy. Brussels takes an eternity to get out of, so we make up for that by getting in and out of Luxembourg in 40 minutes.

Thereafter its a dip into france again and then hit germany. Finally at about 7pm, we get into stuttgart. Here we have to find another specific mcdonalds, but we cheat and follow a sat nav equipped car.

However, this doesnt help when we find the mcdonalds had been knocked down Luckily, there is another mcdonalds in the same postcode, so we buy something from there then head for the campsite.

Shortly after a post stage beer, we notice a police car sat outside the campsite. Then we notice two.


Soon after, the organisers make themselves known to the drivers. The police are not going to let anyone out unless they have a list of all registrations and all entrants. We are asked to go to the main entrance and give them the required details so i give them exactly what they want.

Astraboy.
Davespice.
Rave Dolphin


In the morning things go from bad to worse. There seems to be half of Stuttgart's finest outside the camp. Then they come in in a van filming all of us.


At the driver briefing, we are told that each car will be inspected to TUV (the equivilent of british MOT standards, only much tougher) standards. If it fails it would be impounded. All drivers will be breathalised and have their licences inspected. All documents will be inspected too.

Seeing as it wasnt the first time the german authorites have opressed a group of British people whilst keeping them against their wishes, I have to make a statement. Out comes the packing tape and off I go to the nearest wall.



Seeing as I didnt have my driving licence, MOT or registration documents with me then this presented a problem. Worse still my car didnt have a nearside indicator or any reversing lights. Luckily Davespice was insured on the car and had his licence with him so he drives the car out to the waiting police after we get our route cards.

In the end, all we got was a brief chat from a remarkably friendly policemen, who checked dave's licence, breathalised him and then walked round the car. Having a Vauxhall which I could rebrand as an Opel worked out well in the end as they seemed to give extra leeway for german cars and even the lack of an indicator was let go.

We are sent on our way and swap drivers round about a mile down the road. The next route card is taken from its hiding place and is opened. next stop was Turin.

We decided to do it in true Great Escape style and make a break for the border and head for Switzerland as quickly as possible. Handily enough, the derestricted Autobahn to the south of Stuttgart presented the ideal opportunity to do so, as well as a chance to have a pop at the Omega's top end.

Gradually the speed is built up. It seems the most natural thing in the world to hold it at 110 - 120mph and go for it when the traffic allows for it. Unfortunatly at the first opportunity, we have a setback. The CB aerial detaches itself at 125mph so we pull over and gaffa tape the base to the roof.

Second go is much more successful. pictures speak louder than words so take a look.


Heading into Switzerland, We have two choices, Go west via Bern, or south through the Alps. The lure of twisty mountain roads proves too much so the decision is taken to try for one of the alpine passes.

Soon enough, we are throwing the Omega up and down the twisty mountain passes. Here is one of the numerous uphill sections.

Video of Swiss mountain road - Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

What are we heading for? Why the Grimsel Pass of course? however 25 miles or so in, Rave Dolphin gets thirsty, so we stop for a beer with one of the locals.


50 or so miles in and we start going uphill towards the pass, However the wheel comes off yet again when we reach a sign which puts a spanner in the works to say the least.


The top three sections of the pass are closed. When we ask how closed they are, one of the locals replies "Snow, 3 metres". This necessatates a 50 mile backtrack to get to the one of the tunneled sections. Needless to say this takes a while.

After that, its a long slog to Milan, then a long slog to Turin, then an even longer slog to the campsite when we realise its over 70kms on the other side of Turin that we're on!

We get to Bardonecchia about 9pm, Its so late, the checkpoint is closed, so our time is taken from when we arrive at the site. We're the lucky ones. Some dont get in till 1am and we hear various horror stories from the entrants who failed the inspection and had 400 euro fines levied.

Fortunately a combination of good luck,stealth tactics, taking advantage of the german's Tutonic habit of sticking to the rules and shameless brassnecked arseholery meant that everyone who had their car siezed, got it back. Here is one of the failure forms, I hope you lot can speak german.



The morning after and people are much perkier. We can even see how nice the campsite is, here is a video of where we stayed, beautiful.
Video of Pan of 2nd Campsite - Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

All the cars are parked up off the campsite, here is the field as it stands.



As well as that, the chance to photograph the car, Rave Dolphin and the car in the mountains is too much to pass up



Other entrants make their own entertainment.



Soon after, the next driver briefing is given and the next route card is made available, all the drivers swarm round to see what the destination is.



A sigh of relief goes up. Compared to previous two days, Turin to Dijon is much more agreeable. We set off and soon after are going into the longest tunnel we've ever done. 17 kilometers long and quite hypnotic.

Video of 17 km Tunnel - Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

After leaving the tunnel Dave mentions the autoroute divides and perhaps we should go cross country. Too much autoroute can be a bad thing, so we leave and go it alone.

Photo opportunites are few and far between, but Rave Dolphin loves the Oil seed rape and goes for a swim.




After a pleasent drive and another Mcdonalds which was closed (we fished a reciept out of a bin to proove we were there) we made for the campsite.

we arrive at about 5pm and midway in the field, so we set up for this evening while various people admire the car.



This evening its the night on the town and everyone is well up for a party after Team Banshee's Gin party. One of the more imaginative sponsor aquisitions, he brings lots of bottles of gin and shares them out, complete with Tonic and cucumber. Yum


people are getting restless and wanting to go. Party Boy and Austin Powers get things going

as well as a few others who get better aquainted with Rave Dolphin.



The Gala night is a pub in town. A good half hour walk but well worth it when we got there, some serious drinking gets underway and Rave Dolphin gets passed around a bit too much for its liking








Getting lost on our way back home and we take a few more photos.



and getting up in the morning we find all our doors are taped up, and baked beans have been dumped on our windscreen. Still the "you've been shaguared" sticker underneath the beans gives away who is responsible. Tinned Chicken and beef Curry and its interface with their windscreen is suitable comeback, while Davespice gets busy with the Yop.

Two Nurofen later and the hangover is gone. Driver briefing gets underway and not surprisingly the final checkpoint is in Calais. A mad dash back to the ferry is in order and soon we are on our way after refuelling.



Soon after we are stopped as the Itallian Stallions have a problem with their front offside wheel. A constant pull to the left and a partially deflated tyre is not cured by tyreweld so off it comes.




As soon as the wheel is off the problem is clear, an impact with a big pothole the day before has dented the rim.



Not a problem though as the spare goes on a treat and we are off again. The only other stop was for Rave Dolphin who gets carried away by being in france again and insists on a picture.



Finally, we make it to Calais, to eastenders where the awards ceremony takes place.


There are two awards, "Best Dressed Scum" goes to the ***** Cat Trolls for a sterling effort with matching outfits and vinyl wrapped car taking the prize



And award for "Spirit of the scumball" went to The Arabs who spent the entire rally in full arab robes, doing drive by shootings with water pistols, saying "Durka Durka" on the CB when "Roger" would have been more than sufficent and declaring Jihad on anything that took their fancy.




And that was it! All that was left was to blag our way onto the ferry (we were ment to be on the 8.30 sailing, but managed to get on the 6.30 with the rest of the field and then make our way home! Heres a few pictures of just that.






Final goodbye was on the car deck as we disembarked. Serious amounts of noise, plenty of revving and beeping and a few burnouts from a group of bikers who were completely unrelated to the rally meant for a fitting sendoff to the maddest four days of my life.
Video of Making some noise on the ferry! - Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

And the car? The Team CLSM Omega did us proud, didnt let us down once, topped out at 135mph and only needed a fillup of petrol and oil when required to keep going. 2200 miles of abuse and it took it all and asked for more. It even put up with a pare of pissed up ravers dancing on it on the third day. Not bad for a car costing 500 quid and with 183k on the clock. heres a few pictures.





One thing is for sure, next year, Team CLSM WILL return. It has to be done. MASSES of respect to all who made Scumball 2007 what it was, I dont even want to think about how much it cost, but it was worth every penny.
astraboy.
Old 24 April 2007, 05:18 PM
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Simon 69
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Top review astraboy, we all went to Anderlecht though.....


Simon
Old 24 April 2007, 05:23 PM
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Old 24 April 2007, 05:25 PM
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Old 24 April 2007, 05:37 PM
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We were one of the fours cars to leave the Stuttgart campsite early (the Expeditionary Force...) and who had to suffer a nearly hour-long detention by the road side, as our cars were (in my case, repeatedly) checked for short comings. Team 69's 944 was the only vehicle not condemned by Stuttgart Police, although they repeatedly tried to find even the smallest fault in order to justify a compulsary TUV inspection (at a cost of 400+ Euros!).

One butch female motorcycle-riding officer actually said to me (about 30 minutes in):

"...you will not be racing in our country today: for you, ze Scumball is over..."
Old 24 April 2007, 05:48 PM
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Jamie
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Cracking pictures and good report astraboy
Old 24 April 2007, 05:53 PM
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Looks like good fun!

Nice reportage.

C
Old 24 April 2007, 05:54 PM
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Well done Sir, fantastic
Old 24 April 2007, 05:55 PM
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Sounds like a lot of fun was had, top report, as to be expected
Old 24 April 2007, 07:57 PM
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Quality.
Old 24 April 2007, 08:41 PM
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Very .....
Old 24 April 2007, 10:48 PM
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Really enjoyed reading that!

Reminded me of a trip to Italy two years ago - couldn't get enough of those mountain passess and tunnels!
Old 24 April 2007, 10:48 PM
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Great report.

John.
Old 24 April 2007, 10:54 PM
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Top writeup there mate It looks like alot of fun to be had there Glad you made it back safely
Old 24 April 2007, 11:00 PM
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Well Done
Old 24 April 2007, 11:14 PM
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That fella with Rave Dolphin is a bit of alright!
Old 24 April 2007, 11:22 PM
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Sounds like you had a great time - nice report and good pics! Makes me want to do a Scumball now
Old 25 April 2007, 12:40 AM
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All good mate except for:



I don't know about you, but people like that really **** me off...

Otherwise...
Old 25 April 2007, 12:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Simon 69
That fella with Rave Dolphin is a bit of alright!


Something we should know?
Old 25 April 2007, 01:24 AM
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excellent read. well done
Old 25 April 2007, 01:34 AM
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Originally Posted by speye91


Something we should know?
Yes there is. He has a big ****, soon to be seen on the 2007 Scumball3000 DVD! Was I the only competitor who didnt see Sticky Vicky's ****?
Old 25 April 2007, 07:11 AM
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Excellent, nice one Astraboy
Cheers
Colin
Old 25 April 2007, 07:39 AM
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Looked fun, good write up too. Made me late for work now reading all that mind!
Old 25 April 2007, 09:29 AM
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Awesome writeup, sounds like you had a ball
Old 25 April 2007, 09:58 AM
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Another cracking write-up from Astra Looks like much fun was had fella

Anymore picks of Sticky Vicky?
Old 25 April 2007, 10:23 AM
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Sounds like you had a cracking time. Shame about the trouble in Stuttgart
Old 25 April 2007, 10:29 AM
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Im the only person who didnt see Vicky's ****!
Old 25 April 2007, 11:28 AM
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Great report Astraboy, I enjoyed reading all that as well as the pics. Looks like you had a fantastic time too.

I used to have an Omega and it was one of the really good saloon cars that I have driven round the corners, especially in the wet.

Les
Old 25 April 2007, 03:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Simon 69
Im the only person who didnt see Vicky's ****!
She had 'em out on demand in Stuttgart - couple of teams beside us had the pleasure

For us next year, experience shows that more power, big exhaust and air horns are all essential


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