alcazar

iTrader: (2)

I know this is a long one, but bear with it ....................... it might be closer than you think...........

HOW IT WORKS, AND SHOULD WORK IN A FAIR WORLD

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long,building and
improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer
away.

Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed, the shivering grasshopper has no
food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END

THE BRITISH VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long,building and
improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer
away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a case conference and
demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.
The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering
grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home
with a table laden with food.
The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of
such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have
plenty.
The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and the Grasshopper Council of GB
demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.
The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with
breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall overcome".
Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel has
got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on
the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share"and increases the charge for
squirrels to enter inner London.
In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic
Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of
the summer.
The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing
to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an
additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want
to work.
The grasshopper is provided with a council house,financial aid to furnish it and
an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile.
The squirrel's food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of
society, in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed
retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home.
The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home
for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had
to share their country of origin with mice.
On arrival they have tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's apparent
love of dogs.
The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and
attempt bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them
pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody.
Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it
was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam
to obtain money from people's credit cards.
A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's
food, though Spring is still months away, while the council house he is in,
crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house.>He is
shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the
grasshoppers drug 'illness'.
The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival
in UK.
The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get
money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he
has been in custody for a few weeks.
He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him.
Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.A commission
of enquiry that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set
up.
Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for
grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased.
The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain's
multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to
befriend the cats.
The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame
it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair
arising from social inequity and his traumatic
experience of prison.
They call for the resignation of a minister. The cats are paid a million pounds
each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform
them there were mice in the United Kingdom.
The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the
burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit
cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and
they are told that they will have to work
beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.

THE END

Since this was written, the squirrel has decided that enough is enough and has
sold up everything he owned and has sodded off to Spain!

Alcazar, (sorry if it's SIAL)

Jerome

It is Squirrel In A Lake, but becomes more pertinent as times goes on.

It would be funny if it weren't so close to reality.

Abdabz

It's Veyron In A Squirrel but a few of the points are valid
God save the queen

Leslie

That is a particularly clever account, it should be widely published. You seem to have cornered the market in parables Alcazar!

Les

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

Can't claim credit, it was e-mailed to me by someone that works for my wife.

Alcazar

DCI Gene Hunt

Your 'nanny'.....