Nigel H

My seven year old son is starting to ask questions about swearing, quite natural really.

My wife and I never swear (honest!) and neither do any of our families, but he's now getting exposed to it at school, and I'd like some advice on how to handle it. I don't remember my mum and dad doing this with me - I just learnt by trial and error.

So I was thinking of explaining to him that these words are OK, these words are a bit rude, and these words are very rude. (I don't need advice with the classification thanks!

So far, so straightforward. Thing is with the *very* rude words (the C word, the F word) - does he need to know about them yet and how to handle them.

Any advice please?

Brendan Hughes

I don't remember much about teaching my son about it (a bit older), but basically I said I knew he would swear at school with his friends - the key thing about swearing is control. If you can do it with friends but avoid it with parents, teachers, relatives etc - that's "fine". If you want to do it to everyone - wrong.

Nigel H

Thanks Brendan. But how did you define swearing, which words are acceptable and which are not?

To this day I can still remember saying 'hell' to my Granny and being told off in no uncertain terms about swearing. He understands what swearing is about, he just needs to know which are the swear words.

OllyK

Hell isn't swearing it's just an imaginary place a bit like Narnia!!

Swearing depends a lot on context IMO and my parents would tell me off for swearing, but also make sure I understood why by explaining why a given word or saying either alone or in the context was considered swearing

As to who defines? Well that's down to you to do. If you don't mind the word "Damn" for example, then explain why. If you don't mind "blast" but you think other people your child may meet may not appreciate it then again explain.

HTH

PeteBrant

It comes pretty naturally. They *will* swear in the playground, pick up words etc from other kids. The important thing is knowing when is ok to swear and when it isn't, and they pick that up pretty quickly through using them at inappropriate moments and getting a bollocking.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. It pretty much sorts itself out.

EddScott

Just work on the basis that if you hear a swear word then obviously you tell them not to say it. If you hear a rude or a word you really shouldn't be saying at 7 (especially out of context) then I'd explain that although not a swear word you shouldn't really say it.

I can't say I've never sworn in front of my daughter because I have. Fortunately only in extreme circumstances has it happened. Whilst driving some idiot almost took me off the road and I said "What a *****!" thankfully (depending on how you look at it) all she asked was is ***** a swear word (easier to handle than what is a ***** IMO)

I just said well no its not really a swear word but its not really a word you should use. That seemed to do the trick.

She tells us that alot of her friends swear and some of her cousins are particularly foul mouthed for youngsters. She had small try with swearing but seemed to get bored of it very quickly. She doesn't need swear words to articulate her feelings.

Brendan Hughes

I don't remember- but it was different, he was 12 and English wasn't his first language. By that age he seemed to learn it himself - if not, he was good enough to ask. If not, a quick "Mind your language!" defined the boundaries!

TopBanana

PeteBrant

Just to be clear, in this context, is IMO "in my opnion" or "in my orifice"?

Coffin Dodger

They're only words FFS. Can't beat a good old swear at the end of the day. If it offends someone then they can **** off.

Should be encouraged as far as I'm concerned.

Abdabz

One of my mates used to taser his 8 year old everytime he used a naughty word in the house.
The problem was that the poor lad came round completely blank and had forgotten what it was he was tasered for
This crime/punishment went on for weeks round and round... I told my mate it was fine to use the taser to punish the spawn, but to wait a few mins after each swear word before using it to ensure the punishment was linked to the crime...By then it was too late and social services got involved... Interfering do gooders...
Now just because it didnt work on my mates kid doesnt mean it wont work on yours...

PeteBrant

I would say use the taser at random, just to keep him on his toes, like. Reserve the pepper spray for those cases where special punishment is needed.

lozgti

I suppose really its just the modern equivalent of having your mouth washed out with soap.

Personally I hate swearing.It's up there with spitting.And even worse,girls that spit.Actually,I might rephrase the last example

falkster

We did swear at school but when I got home it wouldnt even cross my mind because if I put one foot wrong my dad gave me THE look which was enough to make one **** ones pants!!

I even get it now and Im 32!!

AudiLover

lol dont tell him the meanings. Just tell him that he shouldnt say them and if you catch him hes gonna get clipped round the ear

David Lock

No you don't need to explain what they mean. Just let him know that you don't want them used at home.

TBH his language will largely be determined by what you say and particularly by the lads he hangs out with. I think my swearing reached its peak when I was about 11 and slowly got better.

I don't set a very good example I regret to say but I don't think I have ever heard my kids swear at home. TV doesn't help of course. effing good luck anyway