kindly written by a woman
23 January 2007, 10:20 PM
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kindly written by a woman
******* ETIQUETTE FOR MEN - kindly written by a woman, kindly edited by a bloke hahaha
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it. <--- Not to quote a pantomine or nothing but, "Oh Yes You Are"
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful. <--- Men are always grateful, we just don't need to cuddle or share feelings afterwards
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the **** video you saw, it is not standard practice to *** on someone's face. <--- How do you think "Oil Of Ulay" came about
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow. <--- Just as men do not have to go shopping
5. My ears are NOT handles. <--- No, but they get used because your tit's are out of reach
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick? <--- Deep throating can be acheived without the need for throwing up, practice makes perfect.
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart. <--- It's the human digestive system pusing out excess air. Women do it by consistantly talking.
8. Having my period does Not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like **** so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex now <-- Take it up the **** then, or at least offer a hot friend or sister as a suitable replacement, and women wonder why men cheat on them
9. Extension to #8 - "Blue *****" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol. <--- men do that probably about 2 - 3 times a week due to sexual frustration
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you <--- You should be maore carful with your teeth then
11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future. <--- It's how we relax after doing all the work again.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude <--- See the reply to number 2 ;-)
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content. <--- Listening to you bang on about your bad day at work isn't very good, but we put up with it all the same
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV <--- That's just plain rude, Match Of The Day, Cold Beer, and a ******* should be compulsary in every household in Britian on a Saturday night
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag. <- - - One man's lack of noshing's is another man's joyous occasion celebrated by all
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning". <- - - Just because your awake, does not mean we have to go shopping.
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it. <--- Not to quote a pantomine or nothing but, "Oh Yes You Are"
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful. <--- Men are always grateful, we just don't need to cuddle or share feelings afterwards
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the **** video you saw, it is not standard practice to *** on someone's face. <--- How do you think "Oil Of Ulay" came about
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow. <--- Just as men do not have to go shopping
5. My ears are NOT handles. <--- No, but they get used because your tit's are out of reach
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick? <--- Deep throating can be acheived without the need for throwing up, practice makes perfect.
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart. <--- It's the human digestive system pusing out excess air. Women do it by consistantly talking.
8. Having my period does Not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like **** so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex now <-- Take it up the **** then, or at least offer a hot friend or sister as a suitable replacement, and women wonder why men cheat on them
9. Extension to #8 - "Blue *****" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol. <--- men do that probably about 2 - 3 times a week due to sexual frustration
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you <--- You should be maore carful with your teeth then
11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future. <--- It's how we relax after doing all the work again.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude <--- See the reply to number 2 ;-)
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content. <--- Listening to you bang on about your bad day at work isn't very good, but we put up with it all the same
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV <--- That's just plain rude, Match Of The Day, Cold Beer, and a ******* should be compulsary in every household in Britian on a Saturday night
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag. <- - - One man's lack of noshing's is another man's joyous occasion celebrated by all
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning". <- - - Just because your awake, does not mean we have to go shopping.
Last edited by mrs bootsy; 24 January 2007 at 10:32 AM.
23 January 2007, 10:26 PM
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Just shown this to my wife. Well, I had to as I was sitting here pissing myself and she wondered why.
That'll be a BJ embargo for me, then...
SB
That'll be a BJ embargo for me, then...
SB
23 January 2007, 10:41 PM
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23 January 2007, 11:32 PM
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7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart. <--- It's the human digestive system pusing out excess air. Women do it by consistantly talking.
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag. <- - - One man's lack of noshing's is another man's joyous occasion celebrated by all
Crackin post mate, wish my missus was here now so i could show her this
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag. <- - - One man's lack of noshing's is another man's joyous occasion celebrated by all
Crackin post mate, wish my missus was here now so i could show her this
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24 January 2007, 09:13 AM
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16 points and not 1 of them was "it must be clean and smell free"
I knew my wife was a whinger.
What the hell does "blue *****" mean?
I knew my wife was a whinger.
What the hell does "blue *****" mean?
24 January 2007, 09:38 AM
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