Lee247

My kids have just got me with the oldest one in the book. The old plop in the wrong place joke Swines
Whats the worst or best you have done or has been done to you

500

plop in the wrong place

how about clingfilm over the toilet bowl

Lee247

A dirty great plop, outside the cat litter, or so I thought

Bubba po

Not one that's been done to me, but one of the lads in my old band "borrowed" the keys to one of their acquaintance's brand new Beemer, wound the driver's side window completely down and distributed loads of broken toughened glass around the car, on the seat and in the footwell. Apparently he looked a right plum when he went to get it fixed.

*Sonic*

a few christmas's ago my cousin came round with her new puppy, and she warned that it may leave the odd 'present' around the house as it was still undergoing house training

I pre-empted this and left some smarties on the radiator to slightly melt a little

Once the puppy had done its business, I then said 'dont worry I will clean it up' I got the said prepared smarties and squashed them onto a tissue, and 'pretended to wipe up the mess from the carpet'

I turned round to the family and said oh look its a bit on the runny side, but it looks tasty and promptly ate the chocolate from the tissue

I did tell them afterwards what I had done tho, as a few faces turned green

Lee247

When Davy was a lad, he had a couple of Goldfish. His Uncle got some slices of carrot and put his hand in the fish tank, then ate the carrot. Davy thought it was his fish. He was distraught. He still has nightmares

Hoppy

Variation of Sonic's trick...

Smear peanut butter or chocolate spread on the side of your shoe. Make some reference to treading in dog **** then take a bit on your finger and smell it. This will have most people ready to throw up. Then lick your finger just to make sure and say it IS ****. Stand clear of projectile vomiting

Richard.

PS Bubba's trick needs to be videod. Brilliant

little-ginge

Lets just hope you havent' really trod in something

Lee247

What was the trick played on you Bubbs, you said once but all I can remember is stairs were involved

D.K.1

Did Manda and Bubba tell you about what they did to Richwalk when they stayed at his?

WILF

*Sonic*

this is a bit sick



one a work colleague did many many years ago, was get a tampax and cover it in jam, and leave it in the mens toilets

an ususpecting employee would walk in, and see the offending item, so one of us would then go 'take a look' bring it back into the canteen call someone a dirty b*stard and proceed to lick the jam off

this did actually make a few people physically sick

Lee247

Smutt, you really do live up to your name

little-ginge

ewww SOnic!!

Lee247

No

*Sonic*

one last one

again also a bit on the sick side

my old boss used to get some digestive biscuits and leave them in his coffee to soak, he would then get a mouthful of coffee/digestive combination, and then pretend to start heaving, until he would 'sick' it out on to the canteen table, other people would ask him is he ok, and which point he would say yet and go get a spoon to start eating his coffee/digestive combination from the table, until someone was sick

Lee247

Smutt, enough

D.K.1

What a dirty **** I live with *cringe*

L55 REP

iTrader: (1)

done the cling film on the toilet seat in my old works with one of the women van drivers it was funny as but she went home "sick" cos we upset her.
it dont half make funny patens on a pair of tight fitting jeans hehe.

Lee247

He's dead cute tho'

D.K.1

Good job or he wouldn't get away with half of his little stunts

D.K.1

PMSL that you did it to a woman

Couldn't she take a joke?

Aww, went home sick - boo hoo

Lee247

That pic in the lav is very nice
I must try to find a one of Davy not being a miserable git

L55 REP

iTrader: (1)

my boss at the time had an old leather chair in his office,that old that it was split an torn in the odd place,
well i had to work on sat morning an was a bit board so i went to the staff room and got 12 milk tubs
(you know the ones like you used to get in the services)
i put pin holes in them all and took a bit of stuffing out of the chair and stratigicly placed them mid back level and on the bottom one around the groin area.

monday morning i got in to a steaming face and a foul smeling manager

D.K.1

Good old Julian pinched the camera to take that

Thought it was OK because it didn't show anything. Julian took a nice one last night, but not emailed it to me yet, I don't think he's forgiven me for his blind date

*Sonic*

PMSL

I used to use those milk tub things, hide one in my hand over my eye, and stab it with a fork, the shock of someone thinking you had 'burst' your eye

I got that idea after seeing it on Penn & Teller

Lee247

Tell

D.K.1

Right, well.....

This freak who takes her kids to the same school went on the same course as me, so she had my number, she keeps texting me all the time telling me she wants a man.....

I bump into our snuggly Julian last weekend and gave him her number when he asked the usual *you got any single mates*

They text each other for six days, we went to the pub with him last night and she had text him her address, so we showed him where it was then he gave us a lift home as he hadn't been drinking


Well, she's about 5 foot 7-8 a bit on the large side, proper scruffy, frizzy blonde hair, freckles, spots, milk-bottom glasses, B.O, and teeth in desperate need of a brace

great, not had any texts off her all week or loads of missed calls on my mobile

He went there after dropping us and..


Well, it's sicker than *Sonic*s jokes


*shudder*

But today I have had her texting me moaning he only wanted one thing Bad thing was, he wasn't drunk

*Sonic*

he sent me a text after 10 minutes of being there saying she swallows

Lee247

Donna, nice one

*Sonic*

at least one of them *had* to wear a bag tho !