speedymonkey

Self harmers, why oh why do they do it?
Had an odd day at work today, and just thought id share it with some of you as its knocked me sick all day.
I work at a sports center in manchester and we see alot of wierd things and odd behaviour.
Today tho was horrible. We have a girl that sneeks on sight and finds a secluded corner (we have very large grounds) and harms herself then legs it when we clock her.
This is not a nice subject, so please dont read on if you are squeamish. Whilst smoking a *** and having a wander, we came across the after math of yet another of her 'sessions'.
It was a thick puddle of blood roughly a foot and a half wide! I was expecting a few drops, and though id heard the storys, nothing prepared me for what i saw. Dont ask me why but i took a picture on my phone just so i could show my mum who used to be a nurse so she could answer some questions. I know its a grim subject and nowt to do with scoobys, but what makes people do such horrid things to them selves, and why dont they just get some help. Im home now and just cant get it outta my head
I hope she gets help otherwise we may just find her body someday, and that thought is not doing me any favours

B9GLY

agree with you mate! i think that most do it with the hope of getting caught even tho they try and hide it! its really a way of seeking attention!

J.Sutton

Its a release. dont judge please people dont do it for fun you know. It is a exprseiing the pain inside and people cant do it in the light let alone in front of sombody.

richiewong

Self Harm - the facts

speedymonkey

Im not judging her at all, something very bad has obviously happened to her and like you say its a realese for her. i just cannot understand why this tho and not the bottle or drugs? This girl has been caught several times, she was even arrested once (god knows what the charge was?) but she's keeps coming back and doing it again. I should show the picture so you know where im comin from, but i feel its bad taste, and could definatly offend people! Hopefully after a beer or 5 i'll feel a little better just been a ****ty day and im glad its nearly over.

HankScorpio

That's far from the case.

Loads of different reasons and attention seeking is rarely one of them.
One train of thought is that if you hurt on the outside, it won't hurt on the inside. Some consellors/therapists try to get poeple to use ice cubes to get the same sensations without it being as harmful.

There's also at least one NHS trust trialling clinics where people can do their self harm in controlled places so at least they're clean and relatively safe.

Maz

iTrader: (34)

I am no expert so bear with me. Self harm is sometimes a cry for help, sometimes it's the harmers mechanism for coping with very traumatic experiences. It's like comfort eating and encompasses the same vicious circle. Therapy and hypnosis is a way for dealing with it but the harmer must want to be helped.

speedymonkey

Not being funny but why dosnt she do it in the privicy of her own student accomadation? she walks alone late at night to my work, sneaks into a hidden corner out the way and does what she does, and leaves? Like i say im not judging her but its so f**ked up i just wish we could catch her and force her to get help

RUDDY

not that im an expert but surley it distracts you from your inner pains for those few minutes your mind is gonna be ocupied with what you just did to your self!
beer or drugs wont work at all cause all their going to do is make the emotional pain a lot worse!
cant say i understand at all but thats because i havnt been through what some of these people go through! i supose child abuse or something similar would be near impossible to live with at times!

mike1273

don't feel bad about it mate, she obviously does this so other people see it, she needs help, i think it's sad that people have to do this to themselves, but do they think of the consequences it has on people like you, who see the **** they leave behind? Don't think so. Have another beer and get on with your life.

Maz

iTrader: (34)

You care mate and that is very heartening. However you cannot force her to be helped. It seems she has developed a routine and the environment she chooses is part of the routine. You should be able to alert social services though.

Maz

Julz1983

Noone can judge someone who self harms. I had a friend at high school who self harmed, yes it's a cry for help/attention but she done it because it seemed that everything she done always turned to ****, she would do so well in her everyday life and situations then something bad would happen and she would self harm. I was like she couldn't accept change or that things don't always run smoothly in your life personal or otherwise, thats just my view on it but I can't speak from a personal point of view.

Maz

iTrader: (34)

Can you possibly imagine what a person may have gone through to be reduced to self harm? It's not done on a whim so be a little more understanding.

speedymonkey

Wish i could but try and get this outta your head after finding it
not gonna show them on here but just look at the aftermath i had get rid of, please dont look if your squeamish, the link is there if you want to see how far it is taken

http://img360.imageshack.us/img360/7150/dsc01570cp8.jpg
http://img330.imageshack.us/img330/4540/dsc01572ix4.jpg

why oh why!

ScoobLou

iTrader: (21)

I have a very close mate who used to self harm and it seems alot of people think its a way of seeking attention which IMO is a very narrow minded view.

She was abused as a child and this was her way of coping.

The woman obvioulsy needs help and hopefully she will get the help she needs and soon.

Julz1983

I agree, and remember it's not just young people who self harm plus self harming doesn't always mean cutting your arms etc. I remember watching a programme about people who were unhappy and self harmed but not cutting themselves, one woman thought her skin was horrible so she used pan scrubbers on her face thinking she could make it look good. I suppose it's a bit like someone who has OCD, I have to have things a certain way, not as in getting my own way, but in the house or car etc things have to be a certain way otherwise i feel dead irritated with what ever it is until I sort it, makes me uncomfortable and sets me in a right funny mood, unless you can see what a person does you don't know it's happening and that they need help. It's good that you care about what you have seen but it wouldn't be a case of going up to her and telling her to stop, it will go deeper for her and she would need proper attention from the right sources so that she can open up without self harming.

Maz

iTrader: (34)

Indeed Lou. One can only imagine the trauma that triggers self harm.

mike1273

no, i can't imagine what she has gone through to do this to herself, but it affects other people if she doesn't get the help she wants.

Maz

iTrader: (34)

Yes of course it affects others. However what is more important, the sensitivities of others or the emotional and physical hell the self harmers are going through?

Julz1983

Yes it effects other people but imagine how she is effected by whatever is making her self harm, noone will stop self harming just coz another person is worried about them, they might eventually seek help but they won't just stop, she could be doing it for a number of reasons, she could have been abused, mentally or physically, she could have been raped, rejected the list could go on and on, I could never judge someone who self harmed.

ScoobLou

iTrader: (21)

Ditto Julz and Brainy boy

mike1273

i hear what you say, I was just trying to ease speedymonkey off the load he had on his head, I wouldn't want to see what he did, and have it in my head, but I understand that it's a very difficult, sensitive problem that some people have, and very sad.

speedymonkey

Cheers mate
Everyone at work was just being really harsh and taking the **** outta the situation, i was just quiet as ive never had any dealings with stuff like this (we get herion addicts and lots of other stuff like that wandering about getting up to mischief) but nowt like this. Thats why i put the links up so you could see what i did, im used to bad accidents with lots of blood as its a sports center and im first aid qualified so have to deal with all the nasties that go on, but this was different in a big way.

Stephb1986

jesus im suprised she isnt dead with the amount of blood thats their the poor thing i guess its a cry for help but is too scared to accept it

speedymonkey

I know what you mean mate, pretty grim isnt it

falkster

I used to have girl that worked for me that self harmed!

I had no idea why such a young beautiful girl would do something like that to herself....then one day she turned up to work in a short sleeved polo (uniform but we do provide long sleeves) so me being me just came out and asked her.....never been too good at beating around the bush!!! I think I said something like 'What the f**k have you been doing there?' and then gave her a speech on how I thought she was very beautiful (thinking she might think she was ugly) and no matter what she thought of herself and what issues she had she could always call on me for a chat but no matter what she would stop what she was doing as, I said, I would check her arms on a daily basis!!

She has since left my place of work to work with people with issues like hers!

Simon C

1 of my friends used to do this (I met her after she stopped). I have no idea why she did it, and I don't ask, cos I know full well that she will tell me if she wants to.

Her former "employers" for want of a better word, actually put it in her contract that she couldn't talk about it / had to wear long sleeves constantly, even in the blazing hot summer that we had.

For me I don't even see the scars, I know their there, but my brain doesn't process them. But as far as I'm concerned, they are part of what makes her, her if you see what I mean.

When I take pics of her, she won't on pain of death let me photoshop them out. Even for publicity shots.

David Lock

It seems to be a modern phenomena. I don't recall this happening 20 years ago or did we just not hear about it? Anyone know and is there a clue in that fact somewhere?

Scoob99

iTrader: (1)

Sadly this happened to my mate at work his wife use too self harm herself, she also was an alcoholic, and suffered epilepsy too,and she use to overdose her medication he had her sectioned many many times to help her, but sadly now he is in prison for losing his temper because she pushed him that little bit too far, at the moment he his facing a murder charge because for 16 years he tried to help her, the one day he was really trying to help her her spleen burst and sadly she died from this and now the police say he kicked her It seems the more he tried to help her the worse it got.
Cheers
Colin

Simon C

I think its more of a case of it was swept under the carpet. Certainly was when I was at school.