David Lock

On occasional one in our "The Oldies are the Best" series


Joe was a successful lawyer but he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his career and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across an old country doctor who solved the problem.

"The good news is that I can cure your headaches ... The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your ********* to press up against the base of your spine, and the pressure creates a terrible headache. The only way to relieve the condition is to remove your *********."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered whether he had anything to live for. He couldn't even concentrate long enough to answer his own question, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital after the surgery he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he also felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realised that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought: "That's what I need ... a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit," and picked one out. The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see...size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years."

Joe tried on the suit and it fit him perfectly. As Joe admired himself, the salesman said, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe, and said, "34 sleeve and a 16 1/2 neck." Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years." Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman said,"How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet, and said, "Let's see 9 1/2 E." Joe was astonished, "How did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years."

Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman said, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second, and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see ...size 36."
Joe laughed, "Ah ha. I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old.”








The salesman shook his head; "You can't wear size 34, Sir. A 34 underwear would press your ***** up against your spine and give you a hell of a headache."

davegtt

RMA26

jaytc2003

iTrader: (1)

your right it is an old one. . . .. . . . .



but still good

David Lock

Just like me then

David Lock

In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time; so she went to check it out.

She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was. She watched him pray; and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.

"I'm Rebecca Smith from the BBC. Sir, how long have you been coming to the wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between Christians, Jews, and Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"







"Like I'm talking to a fecking brick wall!"

Brendan Hughes

at the second!