Dancing Girls

Right then I am undercover, using a new log in.

I have just started the big D. Now, here's the score.

1. No kids.
2. Selling the house - split 55/45 to her (after debts etc).
3. Married long time.
4. I earn twice as much as her.
5. Giving her my pension.

I keep the Scoob she keeps her car.

Meeting a mediator on Wednesday. Trying to be civil, and I know someone will say "Never 'appen mate" but we are trying.

Her brief as said that she is entitled to more! obviously But, can we via the mediator dictate what we want?

So, no long drawn out stuff or PM's.

Matt_taylor

my mate got married young and divorced a year later...

She wanted to take him to the cleaners, though he was supporting her as she was too lazy to do anything!!

They split the lot 50/50...

Hope it goes well for u mate, i think thats a pretty fair deal for u both as u said above

sociopath

Have her offed.

lightning101

Rent the house out cheap with a 6 month notice period

davegtt

Stupid this, you should decide what you want between yourselves. No mediator doing it, If anything you earn more money, contributed more to the household, giving her your pension and shes getting 10% more of the house than you are yet shes entitled to more. IMO when kids are not involved it should all be considered 50/50

Jerome

Why the **** should you give her any of your pension when you didn't have kids and she works?

STi wanna Subaru

iTrader: (1)

You cheated on her?

brybusa

Ditto...fight her over this one...so many women grabbing a blokes pension nowadays

PS seeing as you dont have kids you may stay amicable, once its gone thru you havent got to see each other again...

Good luck anyway

Scoobychick

iTrader: (1)

Why does she get your pension? I honestly don't understand that bit

stilover

Me neither.

What happen's when you retire? Or do you plan to work until you die ?

Frosty The Snowman

Sounds like you need a brief like hers.

Did her career suffer being married? Could she only work part-time because she had to do all the house work, company accounts or some such.

If you have been paying in twice as much to the mortgage and niether of you have stumped up extra capital then dunno why she would be entitled to more of the house.

scoobynutta555

IIRC divorcing partners are now entitled to a share of a pension. It's only a fairly recent ruling.

ScuuBdoo

Take his pension? FOR WHAT?

your divorce the person and then everyday for the rest of your life your reminded of them because you have no pension! C'mon, hardly fair.

scoobynutta555

I'm not advocating that it is fair, just mentioning that it is possible. Think it was introduced under the Welfare Reform and Pensions Act 1999, which came into force on 1 December 2000.

The pension is regarded as an asset and therefore can be clamied upon by a divorcing spouse.

Personally it's not something that I agree with. Then again i am male not a grasping harpy with stretch marks

brumdaisy

you definitely need a decent solicitor.

No kids = no extra money for her IMO

Mate of mine divorced recently, she earnt a lot less than him and didnt want to be seen to ripping him off so they agreed to split 60/40 in his favour and that included a lump sum in lieu of rights to his pension.

oh and she made him keep the rancid dog

Rioja

Seeing as there are no kids involved this should be fairly easy.

You have a claim on her pension as well, if she has one? this can be a bargaining point. You also have a claim on any assets of hers; savings, inheritances etc. you will have to declare everything in the first instance, but it may or maynot be taken into account.

You will need a solicitor, and try and agree a settlement between yourselves as to what each of you will recieve; get this drawn up by a solicitor, signed and witnessed. This may become invaluable if things go nasty.

A further note regarding your pension; contact your HR dept. if it's a work one, or the management company as soon as possible to find out where you stand.

All the best.

Lee247

Why does she get your pension. You've got no kids

Dancing Girls

Kids have grown up and moved on. No-one else involved.
Everything as always been joint.
The pension is fixed until I am 55 and is then Index Linked (MOD) and is then Incremented monthly. The new rules include pensions and investments.
It will then be 50/50.
Daft as it may sound I want to give her the lot and just F**k off and start again.
But, we both need somewhere to live. We have about £120k after repaying the Mortgage and less once bills are cleared, cards etc.
We both sit with the mediator and tell them what we want.
It is then sorted by the respective Briefs.

Scooby Snacks 23

I work in occupational pensions and can say that only about 1 out of 10 pensions get shared in the event of a divorce - they normally look for the sharing of bigger assets first, i.e house etc.

In the case of no kids and with her working, I think it's unlikely she'll get part of your pension, unless of course you want her to!!

falkster

I thought it couldnt be more simple???

I have been married before and went through a divorce. My ex wife was a earning a bit more than me. I got half the equity in the house and we decided between us what items we wanted out of the house and not once argued as it was a 50/50 split.

anymore than 50/50 and its a **** take.

pslewis

I think that a spouse is entitled to 1/2 of the pension pot.

Personally, I think that stinks!! If you have earned most and therefore contributed most finacially then there should be no call on your pension!

Makes me mad that!

Pete

Frosty The Snowman

Ahhh so you do have kids, that probably means she took time out of her career to raise them and therefore she will be due some money from you to make up for what she would have been able to earn, and put into a pension, had she not looked after the kids.

PPPMAT

Having been through this (still going through it) you can each a decision via mediator but it is not binding in any way and either party can change their mind at a later date. Still better to try and sort it amicably(ish) if you can otherwise things tend to grind to a halt.

Your attitude is the right one - just get on with your life and dont let pride get in the way of the divorce and fighting over money.

brybusa

Ex MOD eh? That makes sense, its easy for the spouse to make claim to your pension.

Ive known guys to leave the Army rather than give the ex any part of their pension.

I know its easy to give in and give he all she asks for , just for an easy life but you'll regret it in the long run...

She wont be thankful I promise you...I was amicable with my ex for a while, gave her a great deal on the house, gave her the car, i left with some clothes basiclly...6 months later it didnt matter a jot, it was like "what else can i get off him"

brybusa

Not that im bitter! lol

Dancing Girls

She as worked since the kids could walk. Not that this changes the price of fish!

Frosty The Snowman

It does change things a great deal, taking a several year career break, usually when you're just getting into your stride at work, can be very damaging to your long term career.

That said she may be thick as two short planks and would have ended up as an apprentice shelf stacker regardless but it does make a difference when a judge comes to divvy up the loot.

What you will have to do is make the case that staying home didn't damage her career one bit I suppose.

One thing that really annoys me are divorce cases is when someone thinks they are due free money because they've grown accustomed to the high life, even though they haven't had to make sacrifices for the sake of the marriage/kids.

Hol

iTrader: (1)

Does the pension rule work both ways?

She gets have of yours (X) and you get half of hers when she retires (Y)

So both of you get 50% of combined X & Y?