"When I look back, the biggest mistake was to light the match. But I just wanted to get back my hamster," Eric Tomszewski explained to the amused doctors of the Salt Lake City Hospital, department for seriuos burns.

Tomaszewski and his gay partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnom were delivered here for first aid after a very special intimate session, during which some things went very wrong.

"I did shove a paper tube up his ***, and then I let Raggot, our hamster, crawl into that tube", he explained. "As usual, Kiki screamed 'Armageddon', which was the sign that he had enough. I tried to get back Raggot, but he didn't want to come back out, so I did light a match and peered into the tube, because I thought the light would attract him."

During a press conference which was quickly called together, a representative of the hospital described what happened next. "The match set a gas bubble in the inside of the tube aflame which made a flame shoot out from the tube, burning Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and face. Also, the fur and the whiskers of the hamster caught fire and caused in turn the ignition of another, much bigger gas bubble further down the tube. This shot the hamster from the tube like a cannon ball."

Tomaszewski suffered 2nd degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the hamster, while Farnom suffered first and second degree burns on his anus and at the end of his intestines.