lozgti

Perhaps childish.But so what.Always handy to have in your vocabulary

Had never heard the phrase taking the lady 'up oxo towers' until the other day.

Any more?

kingofturds

iTrader: (1)

Heard some bloke tell his missus to "take her face for a **** you miserable cow"

*Sonic*

Is that like the marmite motorway ?

RMA26

On route to the toilet

"I'm just off to drop the kids off at the pool"

hectic

going to lay a cable ?

RMA26

Or another

"Look mate, I gotta go, I've got a chocloate hostage in the departure lounge"

*Sonic*

the trains are queuing up at the station

just got to deliver a 3 peice

oobster

You should buy Viz for the Profanisaurus - full to bursting with these kind of phrases.

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

Have a look here:

http://www.viz.co.uk/?%2Fprofanisaur...x.php%3Ffb%3D1

Alcazar

RMA26

Off to play Battle****s

kingofturds

iTrader: (1)

"MY HUSBAND plays a joke on me every April Fool's day. Last year I was determined not to be caught out, but lo and behold he tricked me again. Knowing I like cats, he woke me at 3.00am and told me there was a basket of kittens stuck on our chimney. I immediately climbed out of the bedroom window and shinned up the drainpipe onto the roof. When I got there and saw nothing but the television aerial I realised I had been had. However, the joke wasn't over. When I got back into the bedroom the cheeky devil had filled my slippers with broken glass. I'm determined he won't get me this year. "

Like some of those letters on the viz site

*Sonic*

'one slip and your in the sh*t'

kingofturds

iTrader: (1)

http://www.backofthey.co.nz/random.swf


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNUCUJ4IMfU

cunstables crack me up nws

staffs Mike

cupids toothpaste

Scoobydid

Dry as a nuns chuff

New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

My favourite, obtained from someone on here, is:

You don't have to be a baker to put cream in a tart!

Ns04

ScoobyDoo555

fanny like a clown's pocket

fanny like a wizard;s sleeve

fanny like an old welly-top

One of the local sayings, describing a feeling of annoyance is .....


"that don't half make my **** itch".............

Dan

Fantom

If at first you don't succeed, so much for skydiving

douglasb

George Galloway's description of Tony Blair and Gordon Brown. "Like two cheeks of the same ar$e!"

New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

Does that make George Galloway the sh*t that emerged from said **** then??

Another saying: "**** happens". Not exactly original, but good none the less!

Ns04

AllanB

One of my personal favourites which I can't recall the origin of was

" you don't hard to be a baker to put cream in a tart " still one of the few things to really make me laugh

The wizards sleeve one is great too, can never watch a Harry Potter movies becuasde of that and surely a great title for a Harry Potter porno.



AllanB

*Sonic*

As one door shuts, another one closes

AllanB

Some others that are good ones

Gunt - thats gets used alot round here you know the duck belly ladies get part gut , the other half you can work out.

Marmite spider - alternative to chocolate starfish

Vauxhall - Vauxall ashtray


AllanB

Bubba po

"Like Terry Waite's allotment" descriptive of a very hairy lady part.

SCOsazOBY

Start every sentance with "what it is right"

Or when you are explaining what someone has said to you "so he turned round and said" (as if the person had been talking with their back to you)

powerwrx

iTrader: (11)

(1) just going for a pony (and trapp)

(2) ill have to speak to the arab, MUSTAFFACRAP

Alg

I'm not doing that= You can bend down and kiss the back of my hairy nuts.

legb4rsk

My ar*e looks like a Japanese flag.

falkster

My mate once made me **** my pants whilst we were in the boozer. We were just about to get served when these four young lads came in. My mate said 'If theyre 18 my ***** a kipper'......the whole bar errupted and the lads left

jjones

"if it has got **** or tyres it will give you trouble"

never a truer word spoken