The Jaguar Lane!
31 August 2006, 05:50 PM
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The Jaguar Lane!
Jaguar Lane !
The other day I was cruising along as usual in my Jag coming to one of my motorways which was very busy with inferior cars.
First, I could not believe that the volume of traffic didn't slow down for me at all as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a small gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway. (The driver of the car behind did realise his mistake though and gave me a long blast of his horn to apologise).
Unbelievably I had to do the same again before I could get into the Jag lane. Anyway once I was in the Jag lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me I noticed an inferior car not only in front of me in the Jag lane but driving at a ridiculous 70mph.
Naturally I got a foot or so off his rear bumper and flashed my head lights to remind him that he was in the Jag lane and to get out of my way. Of course once he realised it was a Jag behind him, he did just that but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me. He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would outrun him he put on some blue lights that were hidden in his grille and urged me to pull onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we stopped the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!
Apparently he wants every one to know what a superior car I have, so I have had to take my licence to a police station to have some points put on it (they are not free either, they are £20 each). I was only allowed 3, but the man at the police station said that because I drive a Jag it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I wont even need a driving licence, so it would be taken off me!
See, now that's the sort of respect you get when you drive a Jag.
The other day I was cruising along as usual in my Jag coming to one of my motorways which was very busy with inferior cars.
First, I could not believe that the volume of traffic didn't slow down for me at all as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a small gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway. (The driver of the car behind did realise his mistake though and gave me a long blast of his horn to apologise).
Unbelievably I had to do the same again before I could get into the Jag lane. Anyway once I was in the Jag lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me I noticed an inferior car not only in front of me in the Jag lane but driving at a ridiculous 70mph.
Naturally I got a foot or so off his rear bumper and flashed my head lights to remind him that he was in the Jag lane and to get out of my way. Of course once he realised it was a Jag behind him, he did just that but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me. He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would outrun him he put on some blue lights that were hidden in his grille and urged me to pull onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we stopped the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!
Apparently he wants every one to know what a superior car I have, so I have had to take my licence to a police station to have some points put on it (they are not free either, they are £20 each). I was only allowed 3, but the man at the police station said that because I drive a Jag it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I wont even need a driving licence, so it would be taken off me!
See, now that's the sort of respect you get when you drive a Jag.
31 August 2006, 05:55 PM
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love how you've worded the story... very funny !
but that lane is not only for jags you know.... it's also for BMW's and mercs!
please can we have a w@nker smiley !???
but that lane is not only for jags you know.... it's also for BMW's and mercs!
please can we have a w@nker smiley !???
31 August 2006, 06:31 PM
#5
Jag driver here too, but I'm the nice one who lets everyone barge in from the slip road..pity the Highway (motorway?) code is not in lights on those nice big boards telling you not to drink drive or race cars with fancy grills...
Still, you have made a nice contribution to HMG like us all (nearly) just as I have in the past.
In Wales the cleaver fancy grill guys will get (bonus?) points for all the drivers (anyone will do) they stop and screw/book/fleece so that will be nice, you will find them either in the 'fast' lane and /or on a bridge dressed in farmers clothing and soon under your dashboard with Big Brother watching YOU, and YOU and anyone who dares to drive a touch too quick.
Guess you know how i feel.
Graham
Still, you have made a nice contribution to HMG like us all (nearly) just as I have in the past.
In Wales the cleaver fancy grill guys will get (bonus?) points for all the drivers (anyone will do) they stop and screw/book/fleece so that will be nice, you will find them either in the 'fast' lane and /or on a bridge dressed in farmers clothing and soon under your dashboard with Big Brother watching YOU, and YOU and anyone who dares to drive a touch too quick.
Guess you know how i feel.
Graham
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