tuesday morning joke
11 July 2006, 08:11 AM
#1
tuesday morning joke
Paddy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking Buddy, Mick.
He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife,Brigid.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom,
but misjudged the bottom step.
As he caught himself by grabbing the banister,
his body swung around and he landed heavily on his,rump.
A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made thelanding especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Paddy sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.
He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Paddy woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Brigid staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you Paddy?"
Paddy said, "Why would you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," Brigid said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes,but mostly...
it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror."
He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife,Brigid.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom,
but misjudged the bottom step.
As he caught himself by grabbing the banister,
his body swung around and he landed heavily on his,rump.
A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made thelanding especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Paddy sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.
He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Paddy woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Brigid staring at him from across the room.
She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you Paddy?"
Paddy said, "Why would you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," Brigid said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes,but mostly...
it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror."
11 July 2006, 08:57 AM
#2
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Reminds me of that one where hubby returns home so drunk he can hardly walk up the drive and open the front door.
But he somehow pulls himself up, opens the door, and crawls up the stairs to bed.
In the morning he is closely grilled by his wife who is certain hubby was out on the toot. "How can you be so sure?" says hubby
"Cos the pub phoned up and said you had left your wheelchair behind the bar again"
But he somehow pulls himself up, opens the door, and crawls up the stairs to bed.
In the morning he is closely grilled by his wife who is certain hubby was out on the toot. "How can you be so sure?" says hubby
"Cos the pub phoned up and said you had left your wheelchair behind the bar again"
Last edited by David Lock; 11 July 2006 at 08:59 AM.
11 July 2006, 09:00 AM
#3
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Originally Posted by David Lock
Reminds me of that one where hubby returns home so drunk he can hardly walk up the drive and open the front door.
But he somehow pulls himself up, opens the door, and crawls up the stairs to bed.
In the morning he is closely grilled by his wife who is certain hubby was out on the toot. "How can you be so sure?" says hubby
"Cos the pub phoned up and said you had left your wheelchair behind the bar again"
But he somehow pulls himself up, opens the door, and crawls up the stairs to bed.
In the morning he is closely grilled by his wife who is certain hubby was out on the toot. "How can you be so sure?" says hubby
"Cos the pub phoned up and said you had left your wheelchair behind the bar again"
11 July 2006, 01:50 PM
#6
kinda reminds me of the one where the bloke gets pulled over by the police on suspicion of drink driving, as he's out talking to them he decides to make a run for it. Jumps in the car and away he goes. Parks the car in the garagae and goes to bed to sleep it off. In the morning he's woken by someone hammering away at his front door. When he answers it's the police standing there. they ask him if he went out drinking last night, he said "no sir officer, not me" the police ask him if they can look in his garage. he opens the garage door, and when he does the police immediately ask him "so why is our panda car parked in your garage then ??"
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