mpr

I'm coming under renewed and sustained pressure to get married, this is after an 11 year "engagement"

I know it's financial suicide for the man (especially if you have children as we do), and I can't understand why women would want to do it apart from to know that they can screw the man's whole future on a whim.

So if I get forced into this (and it will be due to intolerable moaning), how can I protect some of my money from any subsequent divorce? legal or not so legal, is fine by me as long as it works? Some of you financial advisors must have a couple of tricks up your sleave - please!

Chip Sengravy

hmm..

I'm no Clare Rayner, but something tells me your'e not quite ready for marriage, luvvie

Brun

Watches thread with interest

*Sonic*

the law is changing anyway so you wont even have to get married, if you live together

But like Chip says, I dont think you are ready for marriage either

Ill look after your money etc for you till you get divorced, then you can have it all back

mpr

well thanks for the help luvvie.

No man in his right mind would be "ready" for marriage with the current state of the legal system.

However, in a choice between possibly losing my partner and children then I have to consider it and try to protect myself as best I can.

*Sonic*

By your mindset your going to lose them anyway, so you may as well cut your losses now, and leave them

Save a whole load of heartache later on

Jonathan Davies

It's not financial suicide for the man, it's financial suicide for the main breadwinner.

But not much is the short answer, other than squirrelling a few quid away in someone else's name. And then making fraudulent statements in your divorce proceedings.

I suggest the "not getting married" option is the one to take if you're that worried about it.

RichB

Buy loose diamonds and hide them in a matchbox somewhere...

I know a very good gem dealer

If you'd bought a load of platinum about 6 months or so ago you'd be doing alright, prices have risen madly recently....

Stephb1986

maybe if you feel like your missis is going to do that to you your best not getting married and saying your happy with the way things are or suggest a non legal ceremony to show how much you love eachother???

mpr

With over 40% of marriages ending in divorce (I heard somewhere recently that it's now at 50% but can't remember where), you have to think about the possibility of it all going pete tong at some point.

Let's face it, everyone likes to think they'll be together forever when they get married, but nearly half of them are wrong.

I much prefer the scottish law on divorce (if it's true what I've heard) : Only assets accumulated DURING the marriage are considered in the divorce settlement (i.e. anything you brought to the party is yours to keep, and you only split whatever you made during the marriage). It's not the first time that the scots seem to have much more sensible laws than the English.

mpr

after 11 years, I've tried it all. I'm more than happy with the current situation but it seems it can't be maintained indefintely, more's the pity.

ScuuBdoo

if your partner reads this she probably wont want to marry you anyway.

T5OLF

iTrader: (4)

Spent it fast, that what i did, £9000 on a 16v engined chevette

Bubba po

Isn't that a marginally worse option than having a bonfire of twenties in your back garden?

ScoobyDoo555

you ain't ready to get hitched.
The bad news is that you're screwed anyway - she's classed as your common-law wife.

I'd be looking moreso at your relationship. If it's THAT biased on finance, well...... there's more to life (and marriage!) than money.

Bubba po

Common-law wife, my big muppety ****

T5OLF

iTrader: (4)

Mmmmm maybe, seen as i sold it for a lot less

r32

After 11 years together and children, its not really going to make much difference. You might get even less nookie but thats about it........

The Zohan

Yup!

Miss Kinky

dunno about marrying her it sounds more like you should be dumping her!

from your comments it doesn't sound like you love her very much...

if she wants your name tell her to change her name by Deed Poll - costs about £40 IIRC - should could call herself Mrs MPR then... cheaper solution all round!!

dpb

But its all changed recently - hasnt it..

OllyK

Not yet - the government are trying to give couples co-habiting the same rights as married couples. I think it's crap idea if it just "happens", if you have to go and register the relationship for the rules to count, then that's a different issue.

Trout

iTrader: (1)

And again as said above Scots Law is more equitable in that common law spouse does exist. It is only English men as ever who managed to get laws laid in their favour.

On topic - marriage does not sound appropriate for someone with the language patterns of mpr

Diablo

What that says about Scots law is bollocks, so I wouldn't be sure its right about English law either.....

Diablo

Its not that simple Dave, you still have to apply to the court for declarator of marriage to "crystalise" the legality of the common law relationship.

Its not automatic

mpr

Well I'd like to say thanks for the replies.....

But, as expected we've got the:

You're not ready for marriage (because I'm not a sheep and don't just jump into things blindly thinking that it'll be ok, despite evidence to the contrary from various direct and indirect sources)

You don't love her enough (to risk your whole future financial viability on the chance (50-50) that you will stay together forever. Don't forget that women can easily talk about "love and marriage" because they stand only to gain and never to lose out of the situation. I'd get married tomorrow if I was guaranteed to be better of financially come what may.)

What I want to know is:
Can I put some money aside to safeguard MY future if it all goes wrong? I KNOW the wife and kids will be looked after.... the LAW more than amply sees to that.

Petem95

If you want to do things legally, then I think the only real option is to both sign an agrement specifying what happens and who gets what in the event of a split. (can see bringing this up with the missus not going down too well however!...)

Otherwise it will be the usual case, ie you stand lose 50% or more.

Jonathan Davies

Pre-nups can be set aside by a court though - no guarantee, although it might well help.

There isn't a legal way of doing it that I'm aware of.

*Sonic*

You said yourself you will only get married to stop the moaning, that in my book is NOT a reason for getting married and a sure fire way to make sure it doesnt last forever

And now your reason to get married is only if you were guaranteed to be better off financially

Maybe your girlfriend keeps going on about it because perhaps she loves you and wants to spend the rest of her life with you, and it shows commitment on your part

Something which you arent prepared to accept, so best you dont get married

As far as your original question, I dont know other than transferring things out of your name into other peoples names and hope your girlfriend doesnt find out (especially if she helped get that money in the 1st place )

Leslie

It seems terrible to me that these days you have to consider all that financial business before getting married. All part of our brave new "modernised" world I suppose.

Is marriage no longer a loving relationship.

I suppose the answer is the advice given in previous times. Don't get married too early in life until you really know what you want in a partner.

Les