World Cup Joke
25 April 2006, 09:29 AM
#1
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World Cup Joke
First of many no doubt 
A man had great tickets for the World Cup Final.
As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him.
"No," he says. "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible!" says the other man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event, and not use it?"
"Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away.
This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral."
A man had great tickets for the World Cup Final.
As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him.
"No," he says. "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible!" says the other man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event, and not use it?"
"Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away.
This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral."
25 April 2006, 09:36 AM
#3
Originally Posted by Chris L
First of many no doubt
A man had great tickets for the World Cup Final.
As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him.
"No," he says. "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible!" says the other man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event, and not use it?"
"Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away.
This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral."
A man had great tickets for the World Cup Final.
As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him.
"No," he says. "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible!" says the other man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event, and not use it?"
"Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away.
This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral."
25 April 2006, 02:30 PM
#6
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Here's the next one:
With the 2006 finals little more than a month away, thought it would be a good idea to post some rules for the Women folk, remember ladies the World Cup is *only* every 4 years, however we have to put up with Eastenders, Corrie, Brookside, Big Brother, Desperate Housewives, Wife Swap and all the other crap that's on TV every night of week....................
LIST OF RULES FOR WOMEN
1. >From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose an eye.
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,
Men of the World
With the 2006 finals little more than a month away, thought it would be a good idea to post some rules for the Women folk, remember ladies the World Cup is *only* every 4 years, however we have to put up with Eastenders, Corrie, Brookside, Big Brother, Desperate Housewives, Wife Swap and all the other crap that's on TV every night of week....................
LIST OF RULES FOR WOMEN
1. >From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose an eye.
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,
Men of the World
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