alcazar

iTrader: (2)

My youngest came home with this from 6th form college last week, and the little swine has passed it to me.

Went up to bed about 11 last night, hadn't been in bed more than 10 minutes, and I knew I wasn't right. My guts were boiling, gurgling, and over a period of about 30 minutes my temperature must have gone through the roof, as I was literally shuddering with cold, I even disturbed my missus, who wasn't best pleased

Then it was time to RUN for the loo, and heave until I thought I'd die

Ten minutes later, it's back to the great white telephone, and shouting for Hughy, Ruth and Oscar for all I'm worth.

Suddenly realised I had the sh*ts as well, and had to alternate, flush it, heave, crap, flush it, heave, for about 20 minutes. The heaving was so intense that I fired crap all down my leg, and had to wash off in the shower, as well as put my dressing gown in the wash this morning EEEYUW!

Try standing in a shower at midnight, shuddering with cold, with your teeth clamped shut to stop them chattering...not to be recommended.

Anyway, I've just got up, and I feel as weak as a kitten. Strange, all my joints hurt too, even the ones in my fingers and toes

Back to bed, methinks.

Alcazar

scoobynutta555

lightning101

I had that not too long ago, I genuinely thought I was going to die

MattW

Had it Sunday. Felt like I'd been hit by a truck all day, felt sick but wasn't actually sick. Spent day in bed without the energy to even walk down stairs.

By 7pm miraculous recovery, got up had some dinner, in work Monday bright as a button.

Kyl3cook

I had this over new year...I had the best Ab workout for ages with the amount of heaving I did. Not nice. It came with this flu thing which I still haven't really shifted (still have a runny nose)....the vomitting lasted for 2 days, the bad illness for 3 weeks, and now it's just a case of blowing my nose a lot.

SiDHEaD

Been out saturday night?

scoobynutta555

Maybe you caught a dose from the local pub slapper?

GaryK

Tell you what alcazar that sounds pretty nasty to me!

MattW

Nope - do you think that may have been the problem

SiDHEaD

Yours just sounded dlike a slightly different problem

MattW

Suffer from that enough to tell the difference

Besides, had that all day Saturday

DazW

iTrader: (1)

http://rotavirus.com/

...not nice!

Scoobychick

iTrader: (1)

I had it the Christmas before last whilst staying at my parents house, it came on really suddenly during the family Boxing Day dinner and I was exactly as you describe. It was awful, I didn't know which end it was coming out of next and I was soooooo cold and shivery, I felt absolutely terrible. My other half had to go back to work straight after Christmas so had to abandon me at my parents and drive the 200 miles home alone. He came back for me on New Years Eve by which time I was well on my way to getting back to normal although still feeling weak and a bit rough. So all in all we (well, he) ended up doing the 200 mile journey from North Yorks to Herts and back four times that week

Mungo

This is one nasty bug. I was puking so violently I hurt my back and had to go to the chiropractors!

hoskib

iTrader: (1)

sorry to laugh mate but that line is bloody funny

have been there and agree it's about the 2 worst things that can hit you at once. the toilet will only flush so quickly and chundering on top of bum gravy doesn't exactly make you feel much better

on a plus side you've probably lost about half a stone (cool if you want to that is!)

SPEN555

LOL!

Reminds me of the South Park episode when he is crapping, jumping off the seat, throwing up, back on to crap.....and on and on

scud8

iTrader: (1)

We had an outbreak a month or so ago. Lots of relatives over for a christening, and the christenee caught it from his nursery and passed it on to his parents (my brother and sister in law), both my parents, both my kids and my younger brother. I was the only one who escaped because I suddenly became all Howard Hughes-like

The christening was rescheduled to this weekend - we're hoping there won't be a repeat.

scud8

iTrader: (1)

Was this Kenny's "explosive diarrhea" episode?

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

Thanks for all the sympathetic replies, guys

I'm up again today, slept most of yeterday, either sweating like a pig (do pigs sweat?), or freezing cold and shivering. Now my back hurts from all the heaving. NOT helped by having 5 bags of cement for a paving project delivered yesterday, and having to move them to the greenhouse to keep them dry.

Oh well, feeling a bit better, can't be all bad

Alcazar

matchmaker

Caught gastro-enteritis or similar once - I really thought I was going to die. The runs were so bad that I had to make myself up a nappy, as there was no way I could get to the bog in time

Fortunately the sink was beside the crapper so that I could chunder and **** at the same time

I lived on Milk of Magnesia for days.

Mark Miwurdz

FROTFLMAO&FPMSL

Classic and a worthy addition to the Profanisarus.

BTW, please think of me over the next 2 days. I have to go for a barium enema on Friday following a dodgy guts episode. The pre-cursor to this hideous event is a day (tomorrow) of fasting and 2 doses of Picolax. The bowl rush that this stuff causes is legendary in its strength. A 'friend' described the effect as a intestinal vacuum so powerful that it caused his ears to pop.

Oh joy...

Cheers
Kav

jonnyh

Does anyone know if you develop immunity to this? Like chickenpox for example (get it once and never again).

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

You think a Barium enema is bad, try a Sigmoidoscopy! At least after the Barium enema you'll be able to produce white poo, like dogs used to do..........(cue: "why don't you see white dog-poo anymore?" thread )

I had to have a bowel wash-out, a bit like an enema with soapy water, before undergoing the dreaded Sigmoidoscopy, in my early twenties.

Two nurses came in, gave me the enema, then one said, "In a few minutes, you'll feel like you need to go to the toilet. Don't try not to, just go, staight away."

So I lay there in bed for about ten minutes, then a thought entered my head: "I think I need a shiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

At which point, I did TRY not to, and leapt towrds the loos with sh*t spraying every which way, and every other fekker on the ward having hysterics.

The nurses laughed at first, but not those who had to clean up the floor, walls, ceilings, etc

Alcazar

wah

I had this Virus at the beginning of March lucky ole me gets it on his brithday, kids had it first then lucky Dad gets it felt like **** for a good few days after one birthday I won't forget !!!!!


Si

Fat Boy

Nope, no immunity to it - it's like colds/ flu - it keeps evolving so you're always open to this year's version ( lol MY06 ...) . I know from the personal experience of currently having two kids under the age of 3 who are magnets for it... You do get more resistant to it as you get bigger/ older but you can still get it e.g. so they fountain from both ends for a couple of days - you get the trots/ feel nauseous for a couple of days. Rotavirus is transferred by contact so wash your hands a lot in the winter and try not to touch your face/mouth as well

MikesWagon

Didn't realise this was still doing the rounds.

Couple of months ago, had to take my 3yr old daughter to G Docs, she'd been sick for a couple of days, and was not keeping anything down. I took her since my wife fell ill that night too. While in the docs room, I felt ropey, so had to excuse myself. Snag was doctor wouldn't allow me to leave her with him, so she's standing in the corner of the bog, facing the wall, prob $hit scared from the noise I was making.

Then took her down to sick kids (they knew I had fallen ill in case you're wondering), where I was then firing from both ends. By this time I was shivering, and could hardly stand.

After a couple of hours, had to get my sister to come in, and I was taken home, with several pit stops on way home. Just to add to the journey, I often get a funny reaction when I'm sick - I hyperventilate then my hands curl up and I end up speaking like Ozzie Ozborne - expecially nice for the family.

Defo a weekend to remember.

Hoppy

TWO doses

One is enough to put you into orbit

Great thread BTW. Nearly **** meself laffin

Mark Miwurdz

Alcazar - thanks mate. I ought to count myself lucky I'm not having a Sigmoid whats-it. I've got to say that it's thoroughly bad form to dispense an enema on a public ward like that. They should have put you in an empty Jacuzzi

Hoppy - 2 packs is what the instructions say so that's the way it's got to be. If you see an atomic-type cloud over Wiltshire tomorrow, you'll know what's happening. I've just installed grab handles either side of the crapper for the event.

Cheers
Kav