Ever got dog mess in between your toes?
02 March 2006, 10:03 PM
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Ever got dog mess in between your toes?
Anyone ever been walking on grass and got Dog Crud between their toes?
Its a childhood fear. Never left me.
I guess a bit like looking up and getting crow s**t in your mouth and having no drink to wash it away with
Its a childhood fear. Never left me.
I guess a bit like looking up and getting crow s**t in your mouth and having no drink to wash it away with
02 March 2006, 10:11 PM
#3
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I've had cat **** between my toes......
Back when I was a kid (in the mid 70's - when decor was brown & orange), my parents had brown patterned carpet.... and a cat that suffered from chronic diarrhea......
The problem with your typical 70's carpet, your BASIC 70's carpet, is that it's brown. And the problem with runny cat poo, your BASIC runny cat poo, is that it's brown. So how the hell are you meant to see it when you come down stairs and walk in it?
Bloody cat used to "spray" it up the wall, at the bottom of the stairs - had a consistency of thick oxtail soup...........
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
Dan
Back when I was a kid (in the mid 70's - when decor was brown & orange), my parents had brown patterned carpet.... and a cat that suffered from chronic diarrhea......
The problem with your typical 70's carpet, your BASIC 70's carpet, is that it's brown. And the problem with runny cat poo, your BASIC runny cat poo, is that it's brown. So how the hell are you meant to see it when you come down stairs and walk in it?
Bloody cat used to "spray" it up the wall, at the bottom of the stairs - had a consistency of thick oxtail soup...........
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
Dan
02 March 2006, 10:13 PM
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Fuggin Cat Sh*t
Thats the worst. Once, it got stuck to my tyre on my Nissan 300ZX and pebbles off the driveway got stuck to it.
When I drove off in the morning (blissfully unaware), catty sh*tty pebbles went everywhere when I was going up the road. Poor village folk
Bllx
Thats the worst. Once, it got stuck to my tyre on my Nissan 300ZX and pebbles off the driveway got stuck to it.
When I drove off in the morning (blissfully unaware), catty sh*tty pebbles went everywhere when I was going up the road. Poor village folk
Bllx
02 March 2006, 10:16 PM
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i have to say,
i think seeing pidgeons eating vomit is most upsetting
why do people in traf sq let them sit on them
budgie
i think seeing pidgeons eating vomit is most upsetting
why do people in traf sq let them sit on them budgie
02 March 2006, 10:19 PM
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My mate had the dumbest dog ever.
Once when he was in the woods walking his dog, it came back with a used Condom in its mouth. He could not get it off him so he had to walk home with a dog with a johnny in it mouth
Another time he was really hung over and came outside to find a huge dog turd in his garden done by his dog. Needless to say, my mate puked up. When He came back with suitable equipment to clear the mess up... his dog had eaten the sick AND the dog mess
I told him he should not give it Pedigree Chum. Its too rich
Once when he was in the woods walking his dog, it came back with a used Condom in its mouth. He could not get it off him so he had to walk home with a dog with a johnny in it mouth
Another time he was really hung over and came outside to find a huge dog turd in his garden done by his dog. Needless to say, my mate puked up. When He came back with suitable equipment to clear the mess up... his dog had eaten the sick AND the dog mess
I told him he should not give it Pedigree Chum. Its too rich
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02 March 2006, 10:33 PM
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Yes Our old lab was starting to get on a bit, and one morning when I was little I got up early and walked into the kitchen.
Then I felt it
- right between the toes and still warm! Luckily I was only a short hop away from the bath and stuck my foot under the tap for instant relief!
What a lovely thread!
02 March 2006, 10:40 PM
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Just remembered another time when my mum sent me into the dog run armed with a petrol strimmer, to tackle the 2ft deep grass that had accumulated. By the time I realised that I was muck spreading dog turd all over the shop, I was covered head to toe in ****! Although for once I was glad my mum had made me to wear gloves/goggles/ear defenders and a boiler suit!
Although for once I was glad my mum had made me to wear gloves/goggles/ear defenders and a boiler suit!
02 March 2006, 10:43 PM
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Originally Posted by JamieMacdonald
Just remembered another time when my mum sent me into the dog run armed with a petrol strimmer, to tackle the 2ft deep grass that had accumulated. By the time I realised that I was muck spreading dog turd all over the shop, I was covered head to toe in ****! Although for once I was glad my mum had made me to wear gloves/goggles/ear defenders and a boiler suit!
Although for once I was glad my mum had made me to wear gloves/goggles/ear defenders and a boiler suit!Did any get in your mouth
02 March 2006, 10:45 PM
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Originally Posted by JamieMacdonald
Yes Our old lab was starting to get on a bit, and one morning when I was little I got up early and walked into the kitchen.
Then I felt it
- right between the toes and still warm! Luckily I was only a short hop away from the bath and stuck my foot under the tap for instant relief!
What a lovely thread!
Ewwww, lino floor too
02 March 2006, 11:06 PM
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I know of someone who years ago, was wearing flipflops whilst walking on the grass. The flipflop caught up on the lawn, and slipped of her foot, she took one step forward - straight into a squishy dog poo...
the sight of toes sticking together with the aid of ****, and the shrieks, followed by frantic foot scrubbing will stay with me.. it was hilarious!
the sight of toes sticking together with the aid of ****, and the shrieks, followed by frantic foot scrubbing will stay with me.. it was hilarious!
02 March 2006, 11:43 PM
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Originally Posted by JamieMacdonald
Just remembered another time when my mum sent me into the dog run armed with a petrol strimmer, to tackle the 2ft deep grass that had accumulated. By the time I realised that I was muck spreading dog turd all over the shop, I was covered head to toe in ****! Although for once I was glad my mum had made me to wear gloves/goggles/ear defenders and a boiler suit!
Although for once I was glad my mum had made me to wear gloves/goggles/ear defenders and a boiler suit!LOL yeah same for me, last summer I was doing some clearance work at a pub in Northampton, was using the brushcutter (like a strimmer on steroids with a blade instead of wire) and I caught a glimpse of a black plastic bag getting pulled into the blade..... yeah you know whats coming.......was like something out of a war film, me stumbling back while being peppered with liquid dog sh1te
Was 9am too so spent the rest of the day smelling of the stuff, nice NOT
These days one of the labourers are gifted that job
02 March 2006, 11:48 PM
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Yes.
Got up one morning, still half asleep, walked into the kitchen and felt something warm squelsh through my toes. Ugh. Sense of smell kicked in shortly afterwards, which is the normal first line of defence.
Got up one morning, still half asleep, walked into the kitchen and felt something warm squelsh through my toes. Ugh. Sense of smell kicked in shortly afterwards, which is the normal first line of defence.
02 March 2006, 11:58 PM
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I was ******** on a playing field once and put my hand in a dog ****; good job it was a pissed screw on the way home from the pub, not a lot of romance to spoil there. Another time I woke at a young ladies house, took a shower then stepped in cat **** getting out; you'd think it would be a good place to perform such a feat but you can't imagine the mess.
03 March 2006, 12:06 AM
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Imagine the scene, in a beautifull club in Goa, getting on rather well with a georgeous lass, decide to go back to my apartment to "chat" 
Hop on my scooter, soaking up the warm night air, lots of cuddles and kisses on the back of the bike. 
Her feet dangling from a tiny little skirt, not quite on the pegs, whoosh she scoops an entire cow pat, squishes right through every toe and her open toe shoes.
Spent the next 20 mins by the pool while she hoses her foot down to remove cow ****e, then calls cab home in tears
I hate cows
Hop on my scooter, soaking up the warm night air, lots of cuddles and kisses on the back of the bike. Her feet dangling from a tiny little skirt, not quite on the pegs, whoosh she scoops an entire cow pat, squishes right through every toe and her open toe shoes.
Spent the next 20 mins by the pool while she hoses her foot down to remove cow ****e, then calls cab home in tears
I hate cows
03 March 2006, 12:16 AM
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Originally Posted by cookstar
Imagine the scene, in a beautifull club in Goa, getting on rather well with a georgeous lass, decide to go back to my apartment to "chat" Hop on my scooter, soaking up the warm night air, lots of cuddles and kisses on the back of the bike.
Her feet dangling from a tiny little skirt, not quite on the pegs, whoosh she scoops an entire cow pat, squishes right through every toe and her open toe shoes.
Spent the next 20 mins by the pool while she hoses her foot down to remove cow ****e, then calls cab home in tears
I hate cows
Hop on my scooter, soaking up the warm night air, lots of cuddles and kisses on the back of the bike. Her feet dangling from a tiny little skirt, not quite on the pegs, whoosh she scoops an entire cow pat, squishes right through every toe and her open toe shoes.
Spent the next 20 mins by the pool while she hoses her foot down to remove cow ****e, then calls cab home in tears
I hate cows
03 March 2006, 12:21 AM
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waking up to the sound of a cat throwing up wasn't much fun the other week...
Where was he.. on my bleeding bedroom window sill.
Oh good morning to you too then.
YUKKKKKK
Andy
Where was he.. on my bleeding bedroom window sill.
Oh good morning to you too then.
YUKKKKKK
Andy
03 March 2006, 02:12 AM
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Our cats are house cats, and although usually very good with their litter tray they do sometimes have klingons that they procede to shake off by running around quickly. Not too bad when you see tham do it during the day, but when they do it whilst you're sleeping it can make a 2am half-asleep trot to the pot an unpleasant experience. It amazes me how much cats puke too. I guess normal cats do it outside so most owners are thankfully, blissfully unaware. We have to clean it up regularly
03 March 2006, 10:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Fuzz
waking up to the sound of a cat throwing up wasn't much fun the other week...
Where was he.. on my bleeding bedroom window sill.
Oh good morning to you too then.
YUKKKKKK
Andy
Where was he.. on my bleeding bedroom window sill.
Oh good morning to you too then.
YUKKKKKK
Andy
Alcazar
03 March 2006, 10:56 AM
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I remember a lad, I did my nurse training with, telling me when as a student he had to PR somebody(stick his finger up their bottom to check if they were impacted with faeces)
At the point of insertion the person 'unconstipated' and squirted **** up his arm and ended up dripping from his armpit hair
Glad I'm not a general nurse
At the point of insertion the person 'unconstipated' and squirted **** up his arm and ended up dripping from his armpit hair
Glad I'm not a general nurse
03 March 2006, 11:10 AM
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Walking a friends dog by the river one baking hot summers day. Dog decides to stop & take a ****.
The liquid then follows the slope down towards the river - which happened to be blocked by a couple kissing.
I recon I had a good 30 seconds on em before they realised
/edit spelling
The liquid then follows the slope down towards the river - which happened to be blocked by a couple kissing.
I recon I had a good 30 seconds on em before they realised
/edit spelling
Last edited by BlkKnight; 03 March 2006 at 11:19 AM.
03 March 2006, 11:15 AM
#26
It's only a matter of time until I step in cat vomit. One of our cats suffers with furballs and about twice a month will go through a period of vomiting. When I wake up in the morning, first thing on my mind is... ok second thing on my mind is gt downstairs, put on kettle, make breakfast. It is damned ard to see cat sick first thing in the morning when you are bleary eyed!
second thing on my mind is gt downstairs, put on kettle, make breakfast. It is damned ard to see cat sick first thing in the morning when you are bleary eyed!
03 March 2006, 11:17 AM
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Originally Posted by cookstar
Imagine the scene, in a beautifull club in Goa, getting on rather well with a georgeous lass, decide to go back to my apartment to "chat" Hop on my scooter, soaking up the warm night air, lots of cuddles and kisses on the back of the bike.
Her feet dangling from a tiny little skirt, not quite on the pegs, whoosh she scoops an entire cow pat, squishes right through every toe and her open toe shoes.
Spent the next 20 mins by the pool while she hoses her foot down to remove cow ****e, then calls cab home in tears
I hate cows
Hop on my scooter, soaking up the warm night air, lots of cuddles and kisses on the back of the bike. Her feet dangling from a tiny little skirt, not quite on the pegs, whoosh she scoops an entire cow pat, squishes right through every toe and her open toe shoes.
Spent the next 20 mins by the pool while she hoses her foot down to remove cow ****e, then calls cab home in tears
I hate cows
LMAO chop
03 March 2006, 11:20 AM
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Originally Posted by JackClark
I was ******** on a playing field once and put my hand in a dog ****; good job it was a pissed screw on the way home from the pub, not a lot of romance to spoil there.
