22BUK

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ... Holy ****!!!!! What a Ride!!!"

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

blimey, spot on..thats how i drive every day...like i stole it

(except when the kids are in the back of course )

TopBanana

Very profound

scoobchrissy

iTrader: (1)

PG

Tell that to a family who lose a loved one in an RTA to someone who lives by that motto.
Just a thought

Bubba po

PG's Gloomy Place. Rather Boggy and Sad.

kingofturds

iTrader: (1)

PG

Bubba po

The quote was being metaphorical, don't you know. It wasn't actually advocating skidding sideways anywhere. It just meant live life to the full.



If you say "Yeh a know" I'm going to hit you.

New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

Sorry, but you just reminded me of that quote from the Simpsons.

Bart: Dad, are we going to die?
Homer: Yes son, but at least we're going to take a lot of innocent people with us!

PG

Reeeeeeeaaally ?
If only I was able to 'think out of the box' instead of continually living my life taking everything in its literal sense.


That's a long-winded "Yeh a know"

TopBanana

Chav philosophy

angrynorth

A more appropriate one for the driving at least.

"Better late down here than early up there"

Saying that though, I prefer the original statement as a life philosophy, life would be boring if you don't make the most of it.

SJ_Skyline

Had a bunch of quotes though on email earlier:


"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame Then I
look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of
their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of
work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is
better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish
and worry about my liver."

~ Jack Handy

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the Hell
happened to your bra and panties!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,
that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "

~Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

~ Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."

~ Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we
fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So,
let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

~ Brian O'Rourke

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

~ Benjamin Franklin

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."

~ Dave Barry

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

~ Dave Howell

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to
his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A
herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the
herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are
killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole,
because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by
the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human
brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake
of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the
slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of
beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more
efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.

Molbyman

iTrader: (2)

My dad's favourite "Better 5 minutes late in this world than 50 years early early in the next" ! Makes you think sometimes.

Apparition

Or..... I want to die in my sleep like my dad, not screaming and shouting like the people in the back of his car.
Yve

New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

PMSL

On the alcohol theme, I liked a quote from Scrubs where Drs JD and Turk arrived for work having had a few beers:

Dr ***: Have you two been drinking?
Dr Turk: We've had a couple.
Dr ***: Newsflash, you can't come to work drunk; you're not Airline Pilots!!



Ns04

JackClark

Better late than premature.

PG

SCRUBS. Superb show !!! One of the best shows to grace TV.