scoobyvirgin

Dear Management,



I, the *****, hereby request a raise for the following reasons: -



I do physical labour;

I work at great depths;

I plunge head first into everything I do;

I do not get weekends or holidays off;

I work in a damp environment;

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation;

I work in high temperatures;

My work exposes me to contagious diseases



Sincerely,



The *****.



Management Response: -



Dear *****,



After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: -



You do not work eight hours a day;

You fall asleep after a brief work period;

You do not always follow the orders of the Management team;

You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations;

You do not take initiative;

You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working;

You leave the work place rather messy at the end of your shift;

You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing;

You will retire well before you are 65;

You are unable to work double shifts;

You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed your assigned tasks;

And if that was not enough, you are constantly seen entering and exiting the work place carrying two suspicious looking bags;



Sincerely,



The Management.

Cupramax

Taxi for scoobyvirgin...

GrahamG

so old... but still made me smile on monday morning.