Northern jokes anyone?
06 February 2006, 02:05 PM
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Northern jokes anyone?
My daughter (blond) is visiting some friends in Bolton soon. These so called friends have been bombarding her with "Blond" jokes so she wants to get her own back with some Northern jokes. All contributions gratefully received, SIALs accepted 
There was quite a good one recently about an Iraqi being a soccer team hero but it got vaped
anyone remember?
There was quite a good one recently about an Iraqi being a soccer team hero but it got vaped
anyone remember?
06 February 2006, 02:30 PM
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Punchline was something like the new Iraqi wunderkind saying "I can't turn up for training today, my house has been bombed, my wife raped, my daughter mugged and now held hostage.
Why the hell did I come to Liverpool?"
Why the hell did I come to Liverpool?"
06 February 2006, 03:55 PM
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Thanks Brendan. Yeah I think I have enough recall on that one. Will just change to Bolton Wanderers and Bolton!!!
Any more any one? Don't be shy now.........
Any more any one? Don't be shy now.........
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06 February 2006, 08:18 PM
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Originally Posted by scooby-tc
Wouldnt bother with northern jokes,most of them are that simple that they wouldnt get the jokes anyway
<fire extinguisher anyone>
<fire extinguisher anyone>
18 April 2011, 11:02 PM
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THE SOUTHERNER AND NORTHERNER JOKE
A Southerner is having his breakfast (coffee, grits, biscuits, and jam) when a Northerner chewing obnoxiously on gum sits down next to him.
The Southerner ignores the Northerner who, nevertheless, starts a
conversation.
Northerner: "When you Southern people eat bread, do you eat the whole
slice?"
Southerner : "Yep."
Northerner: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. Up North, we
only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it,
then transform them into biscuits and send them to the South."
The Northerner has a smirk on his face. The Southerner listens in
silence.
The Northerner persists: "Do you eat jam with biscuits?"
Southerner: "Yep."
Northerner: (cracking and smacking his gum between his teeth and
chuckling). "We don't. Up North after we eat fruit for breakfast, we put all the
peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform
them into jam, and then send it down South.
Then the Southerner asks: "Y'all have sex up North?"
Northerner: "Why of course we do", the Northerner says, as he pops
another big bubble.
Southerner: "And what do y'all do with the condoms once ya use 'em?"
Northerner: "We throw them away, of course.
Southerner: We don't. Down South we put 'em in a jar, recycle 'em,
melt'em down into chewing gum and sell 'em to you Yankees."
A Southerner is having his breakfast (coffee, grits, biscuits, and jam) when a Northerner chewing obnoxiously on gum sits down next to him.
The Southerner ignores the Northerner who, nevertheless, starts a
conversation.
Northerner: "When you Southern people eat bread, do you eat the whole
slice?"
Southerner : "Yep."
Northerner: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. Up North, we
only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it,
then transform them into biscuits and send them to the South."
The Northerner has a smirk on his face. The Southerner listens in
silence.
The Northerner persists: "Do you eat jam with biscuits?"
Southerner: "Yep."
Northerner: (cracking and smacking his gum between his teeth and
chuckling). "We don't. Up North after we eat fruit for breakfast, we put all the
peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform
them into jam, and then send it down South.
Then the Southerner asks: "Y'all have sex up North?"
Northerner: "Why of course we do", the Northerner says, as he pops
another big bubble.
Southerner: "And what do y'all do with the condoms once ya use 'em?"
Northerner: "We throw them away, of course.
Southerner: We don't. Down South we put 'em in a jar, recycle 'em,
melt'em down into chewing gum and sell 'em to you Yankees."
19 April 2011, 06:36 AM
#11
THE SOUTHERNER AND NORTHERNER JOKE
A Southerner is having his breakfast (coffee, grits, biscuits, and jam) when a Northerner chewing obnoxiously on gum sits down next to him.
The Southerner ignores the Northerner who, nevertheless, starts a
conversation.
Northerner: "When you Southern people eat bread, do you eat the whole
slice?"
Southerner : "Yep."
Northerner: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. Up North, we
only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it,
then transform them into biscuits and send them to the South."
The Northerner has a smirk on his face. The Southerner listens in
silence.
The Northerner persists: "Do you eat jam with biscuits?"
Southerner: "Yep."
Northerner: (cracking and smacking his gum between his teeth and
chuckling). "We don't. Up North after we eat fruit for breakfast, we put all the
peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform
them into jam, and then send it down South.
Then the Southerner asks: "Y'all have sex up North?"
Northerner: "Why of course we do", the Northerner says, as he pops
another big bubble.
Southerner: "And what do y'all do with the condoms once ya use 'em?"
Northerner: "We throw them away, of course.
Southerner: We don't. Down South we put 'em in a jar, recycle 'em,
melt'em down into chewing gum and sell 'em to you Yankees."
A Southerner is having his breakfast (coffee, grits, biscuits, and jam) when a Northerner chewing obnoxiously on gum sits down next to him.
The Southerner ignores the Northerner who, nevertheless, starts a
conversation.
Northerner: "When you Southern people eat bread, do you eat the whole
slice?"
Southerner : "Yep."
Northerner: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. Up North, we
only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it,
then transform them into biscuits and send them to the South."
The Northerner has a smirk on his face. The Southerner listens in
silence.
The Northerner persists: "Do you eat jam with biscuits?"
Southerner: "Yep."
Northerner: (cracking and smacking his gum between his teeth and
chuckling). "We don't. Up North after we eat fruit for breakfast, we put all the
peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform
them into jam, and then send it down South.
Then the Southerner asks: "Y'all have sex up North?"
Northerner: "Why of course we do", the Northerner says, as he pops
another big bubble.
Southerner: "And what do y'all do with the condoms once ya use 'em?"
Northerner: "We throw them away, of course.
Southerner: We don't. Down South we put 'em in a jar, recycle 'em,
melt'em down into chewing gum and sell 'em to you Yankees."
19 April 2011, 11:46 AM
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here is a good northern joke: what , you want to pay how much for a quality player? No he is worth much more than that, not really sure you would want to stretch that far, (snigger). Enjoy your purchase and the huge flurry of amazing goals!..............................Northerners close door behind them and roll around on floor laughing.
19 April 2011, 11:36 PM
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My daughter (blond) is visiting some friends in Bolton soon. These so called friends have been bombarding her with "Blond" jokes so she wants to get her own back with some Northern jokes. All contributions gratefully received, SIALs accepted
There was quite a good one recently about an Iraqi being a soccer team hero but it got vaped anyone remember?
There was quite a good one recently about an Iraqi being a soccer team hero but it got vaped
anyone remember?
19 April 2011, 11:59 PM
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What's going on???????
This is a 5 year old pretty ordinary post which has been resurrected for a reason I can't fathom and now has 5,000 plus views - rubbish, has the software gone haywire?
Mystified of Sussex
This is a 5 year old pretty ordinary post which has been resurrected for a reason I can't fathom and now has 5,000 plus views - rubbish, has the software gone haywire?
Mystified of Sussex
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