No sex tonight....watch what you say ladies....
20 January 2006, 07:42 PM
#1
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No sex tonight....watch what you say ladies....
No sex tonight?
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars
thing.
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that
every man on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried
on several different very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy
them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I
said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department
where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this
is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled
"WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD
this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial
needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And
just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars
thing.
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that
every man on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried
on several different very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy
them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I
said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department
where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this
is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled
"WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD
this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial
needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And
just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
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hahahahaha now thats funny!!!! have to try that one
20 January 2006, 09:00 PM
#9
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Originally Posted by Greatnorth
Your a hero. plain and simple. I bet that shut the stupid bint up!!!
GOOD WORK SOLDIER
GOOD WORK SOLDIER
before there are any sexist comments.
Julz= short for Julie 
20 January 2006, 09:10 PM
#18
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Originally Posted by J4CKO
Shhh, dont mention to the natives that there is a woman in here ffs.
20 January 2006, 09:14 PM
#19
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Originally Posted by Julz1983
No sex tonight?
I never quite figured out ....every man on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
I never quite figured out ....every man on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
- You wrote the thread as though you were a male, hence: -
- You are either the "butch" one in a lesbian relationship,
- A post op or
- you wear a strap on for bed everynight
any chance of a photo to put the record straight?.. Dont wear the "Black mamba" though!
20 January 2006, 09:59 PM
#22
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Thread Starter
Originally Posted by Greatnorth
My deductions from your post reveal the following
any chance of a photo to put the record straight?.. Dont wear the "Black mamba" though!
- You wrote the thread as though you were a male, hence: -
- You are either the "butch" one in a lesbian relationship,
- A post op or
- you wear a strap on for bed everynight
any chance of a photo to put the record straight?.. Dont wear the "Black mamba" though!
20 January 2006, 10:08 PM
#24
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Haha has it really, well some of us were just late in hearing it, Syphilis has been doing the rounds for ages but you still think it's funny when it happens to someone else.
20 January 2006, 10:34 PM
#26
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Originally Posted by Julz1983
Haha has it really, well some of us were just late in hearing it, Syphilis has been doing the rounds for ages but you still think it's funny when it happens to someone else.
20 January 2006, 10:48 PM
#29
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I'm hardly going to stick a pic up on sn where there's always a perv or two lurking round the corner, give me some credit, I wouldn't class myself as mutt of the year but seeing as I'm married I can't be that bad, I mean no bloke is going to want to stick with a right minger for their lifetime, I mean blokes already are buggered as soon as he says 'I do' without making it any worse
20 January 2006, 11:00 PM
#30
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Originally Posted by Julz1983
seeing as I'm married I can't be that bad, I mean no bloke is going to want to stick with a right minger for their lifetime,
I am good at ironing, I can cook a nutritious meal, I can tolerate your mother, i do not disallow match of the day, I still sleep with you even though you have a bit of a gut/ fart in bed/ snore. I am bearable.