MattW

Now we have two children, one at nursery (15 mnths) one at school, my wife is working part time term time. When you take into account Nursery fees, Car parking etc, it actually works out that she pays to go to work.

On the flip side, her pension is growing and when the children are both in school, net pay will be much better.

So any experience of this situation and what have people decided to do.

The temptation is toi give up work but she would still need to be part time term time in 3-4 years while the children are young. Not sure how she would get a decent paid job with those requirements.

ajm

She has done the right thing by going back to work. That is what seperates decent people from those who believe the rest of us should fund their offspring.

Tell her well done from ajm!

MattW

lol ajm

Even if she were not working, we would have no entitlement to any "benefits"

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

Been nthere, done that.

It does get better, that is, until they are teenagers, I need, I need, guess what my friend has?

Alcazar

MattW

Yes but working for 10 years + for nothing seems a bit daft

The hidden costs of kids eh? god love em... maybe she should give up and we'll have another couple!!

Tracktive Solutions

Hi Matt

Have you looked into 'Working Families Tax Credit'

Scheme introduced to help with child care costs etc when we all struggle financially with our 'bundles of joy'...

Gav...

MattW

I earn too much Gav. This is not about struggling, more about balancing long term benefits of working against short term childcare.

SCOsazOBY

no family to babysit during the day???

it is hard going back to work when they are so young as you miss out a lot, and you cant go home after a long day at work and put your feet up and relax cos its kiddy time, tea time, bath time, story time, then bed etc

its a no win situation im afraid, life grabs our money off us after the tax man has had his share

ShyTot

It is very difficult sometimes, especially when the kids get ill, if you have no other family living near by to support (like us).

But...if you ever take your kid to school at the normal time (8:50 as opposed to 7:30 like I do), take a look around at the working mothers and non working mothers in the playground. There is a big difference I can tell you!
Working mothers - smart, well dressed, well presented, looking good,
Non working mothers - track suits, no makeup, hair a mess

I feel like telling them "GET BACK TO WORK AND GET YOURSELF SMARTENED UP WOMAN" !!!!!!

Shonen

Lol at Shytot!

Been there done that! I work full time and until the little one started school i was paying over 2/3rds of my salary on child care. But I thought working was a better idea and I am glad i did it. It is not easy when they are ill etc but in the long term she is doing the right thing. Now they are all at school the money situation has eased loads.

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Yes, extra money for those with kids, why should we keep the species going, have to wipe sh1tty *****, go to Wacky Warehouses whilst lazy b4stards sit there having a peaceful time of it, the joy of being able to go anywhere when you want without having to drag kids and associated paraphanalia with you, being able to read the paper cover to cover, cheap holidays, sex when you feel like it, meals without interuptions.

Jesus, people without kids have it easy, yes its our choice to have them but shut up about the little bit of help we get, it doesnt go very far, remember that when you are old somebody will have to look after you, thats the way the human race works.

ChrisB

Anything useful here:

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/cgi...29566540,79743,

Looks at the savings from using Childcare vouchers which are "paid" from your pre-tax salary.

OllyK

Sure - but I'll be paying for it rather than expecting you to. It's called making provision for the lifestyle you want to lead.

Dr Hu

Thats a pretty offensive summary you've come up with there, I have two young children and my wife doesnt work through choice. She prefers to stay at home and be a mother to our two children.

I go to work and earn the family money, i'm on a decent wage, yes at times its a struggle, but not that bad, we can afford it generally.

My wife enjoys being a full time mother and wouldnt like someone else to do it for her, over which she has little or no control.

She takes our kids to mother and toddler groups, pre-school groups etc and stays with them and oversee's their development.

She's declared that she's now a lady that lunches

Shonen

Thats how it goes Dr Hu. Us working mothers are damned if we do and damned if we dont. Go to work and we are abandoning our children, stunting their emotional needs etc. Stay at home and you are a work shy loser who is a drain on society etc. We cant win! I worked because I became a single mother (wasnt my choice) and didnt fancy a life of queueing in the local dole office. I did work but only part time so had to take up full time to pay for my kids.

Brendan Hughes

Gotta love the people who in one thread complain about the chav culture and lack of proper parenting these days, and in another thread complain about how parents shouldn't stay at home and sponge off the state but should get out to work.

Joined up thinking? Hmmm....

Shonen

That is what I was saying Brendan, stay at home and be damned, go out to work and be damned. What would your solution be then?

OllyK

My solution?

If you want a career have one - but consider why you want children as well if you are going to farm them out to all and sundry.
If you want kids and you can have them without needing to sponge off the state, then have them.
I'm not seeing a problem TBH.

MattW

Olly, I wouldn't say my wife had a career as such, more of a job, the outcome of which pays a pension and will hopefully ensure we have enough in our twilight years.

I see the argument about some people wanting a career, but in this case it is not a choice between kids vs career.

Thus giving up work has no immediate impact on us, as effectively she is working for nothing. The impact will be much more apparant in 30 years time.

Shonen

So i was happily married and just had another baby when hubby decided that he no longer wanted to be a dad and wanted the single life so off he went and decided along the way the paying maintenace was not for him. My choice was either work or go on the dole. I get slagged off for working but slagged off if I had sponged off the state. Make your mind up. Sorry Ollyk but life is not black and white and can be easily put into boxes. What do I do ollyk? Work or sponge of the state? Which would you prefer? Just to add that i have never been unemployed and claimed dole as I believe in the work ethic.

FlightMan

But...if you ever take your kid to school at the normal time (8:50 as opposed to 7:30 like I do), take a look around at the working mothers and non working mothers in the playground. There is a big difference I can tell you!
Working mothers - smart, well dressed, well presented, looking good,
Non working mothers - track suits, no makeup, hair a mess

I feel like telling them "GET BACK TO WORK AND GET YOURSELF SMARTENED UP WOMAN" !!!!!![/QUOTE]

Agree with a previous post. Thats quite an offensive remark, and in some cases its completely wrong. My wife takes my 6 year old daughter to school at 8-30,and our 2 year old to nursery at 9am ( 2 days a week ). She often wears a track suit, because its quick to put on, no ironing required etc. The reason for this? 4 nights a week she works evenings, 18-15 to 23-30 at a bank. Shes back home around mid-night then up at 06-30 to start the process of getting the kids ready. The reason she works evenings is so she can bring up our kids. Yes its hard, both financially and physically, for us both. But we feel its worth it, and hopefully in the next 5/6 years, we can relax a little and get our evenings back.

OllyK

Sure - that falls in to the "Do it if you can afford it category". Having a kid is a big sacrifice, but can also be highly rewarding. The sacrifice you are making is security in your old age and that's your choice of course.

_RIP_

Eh?

OllyK

Errr - no excuse for this. CSA may be ****e, but get him reported and contributing.

I'm not slagging you off for working. I would slag you off if you sponge.

As I said, I don't have a problem with you working, certainly not in your circumstances. However, you are the one that is making it black (work) and white (not work). There are other options and choices, they may not be pleasant (to you), but they are there.

OllyK

Read what MattW was saying, by his wife not working, she is not contributing to her pension. That will affect her (them) in 30 years or so, that is a sacrifce she (they) is making in the long term to have kids now.

mightyyid

My missus gave up work when the sprog came along and got the basic benefits which we were entitled to. Given she was giving up a decent paid job as a CFO (on £57k a year) it was a big hit to us, and although I'm earning a good salary (at the time she was earning more, and she could afford to go back to work and pay for nursery she (and I) are believers in children being reared by parents is better than a nanny. Thus we sacrificed part of our income to bring up a kid (and another on the way). The pension thing makes little difference to us, as I think it will be pants by the time we get to that age (it's not exactly great now).

Plus she's also fortunate that she could get another job fairly easily with her skills, but that will be years away.

Do what you think is best for you and the family. As we say, no-one ever went to their grave with the words "I wish I'd spent more time in the office" on their headstone!

OllyK

Excellent, I now know what I'm going to have put on my headstone!

WRXJase

Similar situation here.

We have a son in nursery full time.
Next year we get a daughter.

At the moment after her work expenses she brings money in. That'll change when our daughter goes to nursery though. Admittedly this is some time off yet.

Plan then is for my wife to go part time to keep her job open for when they are both at shool. For a year or so she will be working for nothing in effect but it's worth it to keep her job open which means we can give them a better standard of living later. This of course relys on her being able to get part time work....

We're the same as you MattW in that even if my wife didn't work I earn too much for the tax credits to help so we are on our own.

Family babysitters are a dreamt of luxury here too. We are 120-miles away from the nearest candidates so that's out of the window....

PeteT

Is it not possible to stay at home and look after the kids without sponging off the state then? My Mum did.

scoobfan

If like me you have always been in work then i see it as getting back a little of what iv'e put in.

Rob