16vmarc

An Australian ventriloquist visiting Wales , walks into a


small village and decides he'll have a little fun.





Aussie: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak


with him?"





Farmer: "Don't be stupid, the dog doesn't talk"





Aussie: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"





Dog: "Doin' all right."





The farmer is astonished.





Aussie: "Is this chap your owner?"





Dog: "Yep"





Aussie: "How does he treat you?"





Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great


food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."





The farmer's mouth falls open in utter disbelief.





Aussie: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"








Farmer: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either... I don't think."








Aussie: "Hey horse, how's it going?"








Horse: "Cool"


Now the farmer is absolutely dumbfounded.








Aussie: "Is this your owner?"








Horse: "Yep"





Aussie: "How does he treat you?"





Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me,


brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to


protect me from the elements."





The Farmer staggers back in amazement.





Aussie: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"





Farmer: "The sheep's a liar.

Chip

That's libelous.

I'll be phoning Trevor Philips first thing about you.

16vmarc

Will this be behalf of your sheep aswell, or can he dial?

Chip

A young man moves to a village in Wales and gets talking to an old man from the village. He asks the old man what his name is; the old man gets very irate at this point and says: "See that line of houses over there? I built them all, but do they call me Chip the house builder? Do they hell! See those railway lines over there? I laid them all, but do they call me Chip the engineer? Do they hell! See those bridges over that river? I built them all, but do they call me Chip the bridge builder? Do they hell! But, a long long time ago, I ****ed *one* sheep..."

David Lock

I like a chap who can tell a true story about himself

16vmarc

Chip

But dont forget, we export all the shagged ones to England. Gives you a little extra protein Boyo

Chip

David Lock

Last edited by Chip : Today at 18:30. Reason: David, how was your lamb???

Steady Chip - that's sheepophaelia isn't it?

PS. Smashing - ordering up some more (without protein ) very soon.

Chip

I'll have a word with Benni to make sure you get a good looking one

Chip

16vmarc

Reminded me of an epsiode of Father Ted then Chip