astraboy

Just come back from the Town centre shopping experience. Whilst I was there, I realised how much I hated it. Let me illustrate why.
The whole exercise has been expressly designed make you feel as deeply depressed as possible.
First off, the E-coli street architecture is as "post modern" as possible, yet at the same time, totally soulless and as much of a non event as can be. Quite why they attempt to make it the epitome of modern design then choose to fill the place with hundreds of Mike Reid impersonators and their attendant market stalls, all of them offering top quality goods at knock down prices (that wont even make the trip home in one piece) is beyond me. But dont even get me started on those *****, If I'm interested in what you've got on sale then I'll come over and have a look, Do you see Ottakers' staff bellowing "BOOOKS! LAVERLY BOOKS! FREE FOR A PHAAAND!"? No? Then SHUT UP!!!!!

Then theres the inhabitants. People flock there in the thousands and most of them can barely be described as human. Quatermass experiement would be closer in some instances, from crying children who have specifically tailored their shreik specifically to slice straight through you, to stick insect tarts who have clearly spent in excess of 5 hours getting ready, but would have been better off to shoot themselves point blank in the face with an elephant gun loaded with makeup.

It gets worse though, From the peacock metrosexual jacket and jeans tossers, to the miserable ******* Goths in the one-ton floor length leather jackets, out of the thousands of people I walk past, not one person I see would present a good enough case for putting out if I saw them on fire.

Why is it that people seem to think this is the place to be on a saturday? Are their lives that vacuous that this is the highlight of their weekly existance? I'm am deeply depressed by these people yet uplifted at the same time. I feel a better person becuase my saturdays are not spent posing in the shopping arcade.

Then there are the shops themselves. Depression washes over me as I walk past. ******* posing outside trendy, overpriced coffee shops, JD sports, or JJB sports or whatever they want to call themselves this week do battle with a never ending procession of ******* trying to rob them blind. Poundland. Why is it that I feel that even though everything is a pound I STILL feel like I'm getting ripped off? Debenhams? Dont get me started on them, you're living in the past, same as Woolworths, so do everybody a favour and DIE! And as for BHS. There is never a Nutron bomb about when I need one is there?

But the worst part of this sorry expedition is at the end. You have a car parking ticket and you have to pay to get out. Thats right, this whole sorry experience is coming out of your pocket. you actually have to pay to come away wanting to detonate a Fuel-Air bomb and flatten the town centre.

Town centres. Come the revoloution, they will be first against the wall, alongside the sadistic *******s also known as Civic planners who came up with the concept of "Hey everyone, why not put all the shops in the middle of the town so everyone can get to them?". No. Lets put a sewage farm there and make better use of the land.
astraboy.

turboman786

Nice!! Always nice to have an alternative perspective, sadly we live in shallow materialistic society where people exist to consume, and consume they will on saturdays! Sad thing is, most people are buying on credit, and digging themselves into a bigger hole, yet feel obliged to spend spend sepnd, after all thats what will make us all happy eh?

Apparition

There is an alternative : DON'T GO !
Yve

MJW

Apparantly you can buy things on the internet now !

Iwan

The problem is you get desensitised to the real world buying stuff online.

Shopping online - you (usually) get good prices, nobody hassles you, and the stuff gets delivered to your door. Then one day when you're forced to go into a town centre to get something urgent you forgot to order, what would normally be an umpleasant experience suddently becomes a savage mental a$$-raping of the highest order.

Luan Pra bang

Astra boy been to CMK then ?

paulr

Yes and Yes.

I find amusement in the faces of the (usually older) husbands who get dragged round by the missus when all they want to do is fall asleep on the sofa at home in front of CH4 racing.

ajm

I buy everything online.... if I HAVE to mingle with the pondlife then I go during working hours!

mart360

or dixons window at 4pm onwards....

scores of bored loking blokes checking the scores how sad is that,

will the world stop if you dont know a bloody football result...

and the phone shops... one for every airwave provider, all with crap deals, and all advertise free phones... providing you spend £50 pounds a month rental..

who in there right minds pays £50 on line rental..... and to anyone who does, please provide me your bank acc details, you have more money than sense
for £50 a month i,d want more return than a few cul8tr texts.. and then we have the "trendy" fashion shops..

in your face, out your face, before, daisy lurkins, and most are either full of chavettes, or empty, cos they want six squillion quid for a tatty bit of favric resembeling a g string.. and the sports shops... dont even go there..

would you trust some spotty 16 yer old to advise you on the correct raquet or club you need, have of them are so bored, they look bloody wooden..

oh and why do the trendy coffe places insist on brewing coffee for 2 weeks before serving??

if i want my coffee so bloody strong the spoon stands up in it i wll drink gravy..

and why do they insisty on filling it to the brim and then saying the milks over there...

shopping,, more like torture

M

unclebuck

These thick to$$ers are the result of a rubbish education and zero personal esteem. I find the coffe shop crowd particularily sad as they drug themselves up with caffine and nicotine whilst thinking we 'outsiders' are watching their 'coolness' with envy.

Some chance!!