16vmarc

Little Johnny's neighbours had a baby. Unfortunately,
>the baby was born without ears. When mother and new
>baby came home from the hospital Johnny's family was
>invited over to see the baby.
>
>Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had
>a talk with him and explained that the baby had no
>ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as
>mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or
>even said the word ears he would get the
>spanking of his life when they came back home. Little
>Johnny told his dad he understood completely.
>
>When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a
>beautiful baby." The mother said, "Why, thank you,
>Little Johnny." Johnny said, "He has beautiful
>little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little
>nose and really beautiful eyes."
>
>Can he see?" asked Little Johnny. "Yes", the mother
>replied, "we are so thankful, the Doctor said he will
>have 20/20 vision.
>
> "That's great", said Little Johnny, "cuz he'd be
>f****d if he needed glasses
>

hawkthescoobslayer

PMSL

davegtt

took a couple of seconds for it to sink in.

Very good

pauld37

hawkthescoobslayer

little jonny goes on a school trip and comes home to tell his mum
about the trip
Mum :- what did you see today johnny

johnny :- ooohh mum it was great we went to a farm and we saw some
sheep, we saw some chickens, we saw some pigs and
we saw some ******* and some dogs

Mum :- wooaahh wait it minute you saw some WHAT?

johnny :- dogs mum?

Mum :- no before that ?

johnny :- oh ******* you mean?

Mum :- yes who told you that, thats disgusting johnny

johnny :- our teacher did

Mum :- she told you WHAT!!

johnny :- she called them heffers but I knew what she really meant mum.

messiah

Teacher in class asks the kids for a phrase with the word "contagious" in it.

Little Mary puts her hand up and says "My sister has the measles and the doctor says it's contagious"
"Very good" replies the teacher.
Little Josie puts her hand up and says "My brother has Chicken Pox and the doctor says it's highly contagious"
"Very good as well" says the teacher
Little Johnny puts his hand up and says "Yesterday I went for a walk with my dad and we saw our neighbour, who my dad doesn't like, and he was painting his garage door with a tiny brush and my dad said it'll take that c*unt ages..."