How British are you?
How British are you?
16 June 2005, 01:59 PM
#2
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As British as the royal family.
To quote Blackadder goes forth:
"I'm as British as Queen Victoria!"
"So, your fathers german, your half german and you married a german"
I got
You got 6 right!
0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals
6-10: Seat on the district council
To quote Blackadder goes forth:
"I'm as British as Queen Victoria!"
"So, your fathers german, your half german and you married a german"
I got
You got 6 right!
0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals
6-10: Seat on the district council
Last edited by EddScott; 16 June 2005 at 02:03 PM.
16 June 2005, 02:23 PM
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Life in the UK explains what to do if you spill someone's pint in the pub (we're not making this up). What, according to the book, usually happens next?
A: You would offer to buy the person another pint
B: You would offer to dry their wet shirt with your own
C: You may need to prepare for a fight in the car park
B: You would offer to dry their wet shirt with your own
C: You may need to prepare for a fight in the car park
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16 June 2005, 02:41 PM
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Flatcapdriver,
112 is the international emergency number aparently. Obviously not well publicised.
I got 9, although I got a couple of stupid ones wrong. Who GAFF where Father Christmas "comes" from for instance...
112 is the international emergency number aparently. Obviously not well publicised.
I got 9, although I got a couple of stupid ones wrong. Who GAFF where Father Christmas "comes" from for instance...
16 June 2005, 02:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Jerome
Flatcapdriver,
112 is the international emergency number aparently. Obviously not well publicised.
I got 9, although I got a couple of stupid ones wrong. Who GAFF where Father Christmas "comes" from for instance...
112 is the international emergency number aparently. Obviously not well publicised.
I got 9, although I got a couple of stupid ones wrong. Who GAFF where Father Christmas "comes" from for instance...
Is father christmas real?
1) Yes
2) No
Answering 1 gets you fast tracked back out of the country!
16 June 2005, 02:59 PM
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Originally Posted by OllyK
Life in the UK explains what to do if you spill someone's pint in the pub (we're not making this up). What, according to the book, usually happens next?
I don't care what the book says, the answer is C
Quote:
A: You would offer to buy the person another pint
B: You would offer to dry their wet shirt with your own
C: You may need to prepare for a fight in the car park
Still got...
You got 12 right!
0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals.... 6-10: Seat on the district council......11-14: Seat in Parliament.....15: Seat on the throne
16 June 2005, 03:07 PM
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Originally Posted by suprabeast
theres only 15 questions Brendan! however i got 11
I also got wrong answers for Lapland, dog licensing, the first one about what it means to be British, and for some odd reason the PG one
...must be teatime
16 June 2005, 03:19 PM
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What stupid questions! 
What they SHOULD be asking is:
1) Are you planning to sponge off our taxpaying citizens?
2) Are you planning to import sex/labour slaves into the UK?
3) Are you planning on hanging around on street corners, mugging people, "washing" people's windscreens with filthy rags and having knife fights with neighbouring "factions"?
4) Are you really in danger of your life or are you just after easy money?
5) Why wouldn't France do? Afterall you had to come through it in order to get here!!!
What they SHOULD be asking is:
1) Are you planning to sponge off our taxpaying citizens?
2) Are you planning to import sex/labour slaves into the UK?
3) Are you planning on hanging around on street corners, mugging people, "washing" people's windscreens with filthy rags and having knife fights with neighbouring "factions"?
4) Are you really in danger of your life or are you just after easy money?
5) Why wouldn't France do? Afterall you had to come through it in order to get here!!!
16 June 2005, 03:27 PM
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Originally Posted by ajm
What stupid questions!
What they SHOULD be asking is:
1) Are you planning to sponge off our taxpaying citizens?
2) Are you planning to import sex/labour slaves into the UK?
3) Are you planning on hanging around on street corners, mugging people, "washing" people's windscreens with filthy rags and having knife fights with neighbouring "factions"?
4) Are you really in danger of your life or are you just after easy money?
5) Why wouldn't France do? Afterall you had to come through it in order to get here!!!
What they SHOULD be asking is:
1) Are you planning to sponge off our taxpaying citizens?
2) Are you planning to import sex/labour slaves into the UK?
3) Are you planning on hanging around on street corners, mugging people, "washing" people's windscreens with filthy rags and having knife fights with neighbouring "factions"?
4) Are you really in danger of your life or are you just after easy money?
5) Why wouldn't France do? Afterall you had to come through it in order to get here!!!
Translation - bugger, I only got 6 right
16 June 2005, 03:50 PM
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Actually ajm, your questions remind me about the ones already asked on immigration forms. You know, "Are you a member of a terrorist organisation, are you carrying illegal drugs, do you have bombs in your bags", all the normal stuff that you'd expect a person to reply to honestly. 
16 June 2005, 04:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Brendan Hughes
Actually ajm, your questions remind me about the ones already asked on immigration forms. You know, "Are you a member of a terrorist organisation, are you carrying illegal drugs, do you have bombs in your bags", all the normal stuff that you'd expect a person to reply to honestly.
16 June 2005, 04:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Brendan Hughes
Actually ajm, your questions remind me about the ones already asked on immigration forms. You know, "Are you a member of a terrorist organisation, are you carrying illegal drugs, do you have bombs in your bags", all the normal stuff that you'd expect a person to reply to honestly.
My questions were obviously tongue in cheek, but not *that* tongue in cheek... they should be questions that are being asked... however the testimonies of the applicants should not be believed without sufficient supporting checks.
I would like to think that my low score of nine demonstrates just how far the government's idea of what consitutes a good citizen is from what *actually* constitutes a good citizen!
16 June 2005, 05:28 PM
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Alex, I wasn't having a poke at you, more at the fact that dumb questions for immigrants were already in force in a different guise They always make me smile when I read them on the plane. Thank god I don't fly to America, I'd have difficulty keeping a straight face on that one. You could add another there - "What is your arrival flight number, and do you actually expect to land?" 
They always make me smile when I read them on the plane. Thank god I don't fly to America, I'd have difficulty keeping a straight face on that one. You could add another there - "What is your arrival flight number, and do you actually expect to land?"
16 June 2005, 05:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Markus
Well I don't speak Hindi, and my skin is a pasty white, so I can't possibly be british
Oh, sorry, I can't say that can I, it's racist!
Oh, sorry, I can't say that can I, it's racist!
And if you're trying to imply that there are more Hindi speakers in Britain then 'pasty white' people then you're also talking out of your ****. Being 'pasty white' doesn't make you British either. But there are plenty of 'pasty white Poles, Russians and whatever else over here if that makes you feel better.
oh..btw I got 9 on the test.
16 June 2005, 09:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Markus
Well I don't speak Hindi, and my skin is a pasty white, so I can't possibly be british
Oh, sorry, I can't say that can I, it's racist!
Oh, sorry, I can't say that can I, it's racist!
Unfortunately it doesn't make you very interesting.
Asif
16 June 2005, 09:47 PM
#30
Originally Posted by Markus
Well I don't speak Hindi, and my skin is a pasty white, so I can't possibly be british
Oh, sorry, I can't say that can I, it's racist!
Oh, sorry, I can't say that can I, it's racist!
'Political incorrectness' more than racist I think, or goading in a PSLewis manner Mick