How to maintain your insanity...
#1
How to maintain your insanity...
>How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
>
>1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hair
>dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
>
>2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
>
>3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with
>that.
>
>4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."
>
>5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over
>their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
>
>6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
>
>7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
>
>8. Dont use any punctuation marks
>
>9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
>
>10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
>
>11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
>
>12. Sing along at the opera.
>
>13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
>
>14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle
sounds
>all day.
>
>15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their
>party because you're not in the mood.
>
>16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard
>Kim.
>
>17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd
>time this week!"
>
>18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot,
>yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!"
>
>19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going
>to have to let one of you go."
>
>1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hair
>dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
>
>2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
>
>3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with
>that.
>
>4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."
>
>5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over
>their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
>
>6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
>
>7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
>
>8. Dont use any punctuation marks
>
>9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
>
>10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
>
>11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
>
>12. Sing along at the opera.
>
>13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
>
>14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle
sounds
>all day.
>
>15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their
>party because you're not in the mood.
>
>16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard
>Kim.
>
>17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd
>time this week!"
>
>18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot,
>yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!"
>
>19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going
>to have to let one of you go."
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