Walwal

Anybody got any tips please??

My lad is 3 next month, but we cannot get him to go to the toilet. We've been trying off and on, tho it is tough when me and our lass work full time, since Xmas, but with not much joy.

We've managed to get him sitting on our toilet without screaming, which he did at first, and he's had 3 pee's on the pot in the last week or so, but he's at my mothers thro the week and goes mental if she sits him on her toilet. Both Monday and Tuesday this week he wet himself rather than sit on her bog. He will not say when he needs to go. He won't entertain a potty either.

Personally, I think we've left it too late to start, cos now he's got his own personality and mindset, he's just thinking "I'm not going to do that if I don't want to", which has got me tearing out what little hair I've got left. I wanted to start him last summer, but our lass said it was too soon. However, knowing this isn't getting us anywhere.

I've tried bribing him with sweets, tried running a "gold star" system where he gets one on a chart every time he goes, bribing him with trips out to nice places, telling him he won't be able to go to nursery in Spetember, telling him his cousin Daniel (who he worships and copies everything from) goes to the toilet, but NOTHING works.

The most annoying thing is he's pretty bright at most other things (especially answering back ), but he either can't or won't take to toilet training.

Any idea's appreciated.

Thanks,

Andy.

Jap2Scrap

Wire his trousers up to an electric fence. Then, in a kind of Pavlovian experiment way, he'll begin to associate p!ssing his pants with 10,000V up his backside. He'll learn.

Other than that it's a tough one. You have left it kinda late to train him 'parrot fashion'. Just keep rewarding the times he goes properly with praise and keep up with the cousin thing. That sounds like a possible winner.

Jolly Green Monster

iTrader: (4)

My daughter was sorted by 20months but that was down to the hard work my wife put in and girls pick things up sooner apparently.. will find out soon as just had a boy..

anyway..

in the summer she didn't put a nappy on her whilst at home and she had no lower clothes on her most of the time.. then when she went she picked her up and put her on the potty.. lots of encouragement etc.. our carpet looks better with pee on, it couldn;t get any worse believe me.

now he is 3 you are going to have more problems and I doubt putting him on the potty mid flow would work as he would just get up and pee everywhere..

he will get it.. just try not to get annoyed with him as it will only make things worse.

Have you tried standing up? he might like the target practicing etc..

Good luck anyway..

Bartop

We had the same with my son, it was only him as we had no problems with my 2 daughters so I wouldn't feel bad about it.
I don't think you mentioned but are you still putting nappies on him ? We tried all the things you mentioned above but it was only resolved once we stopped that and let him mess himself - took a while and was a bit traumatic for a few weeks but eventually he took to it..

Just make sure you carry around plenty of change of clothes but let him feel the discomfort as well - he'll soon learn that it's better to use the loo than not..

Good luck !

Walwal

Thanks for the replies.

J2S, believe me, I've thought about your idea a few times!!!

As for the nappies, we're trying only to use them for bed. I'm off from today until after Easter, so he'll have his underpants on as much as possible from now til then.

What he does is hold it in as long as possible without saying anything, for example, today he hasn't done anything yet since our lass got him ready at 7.30 this morning and it's now 1.45. I've sat him on the pot 4 times, but he's did nothing.

Driving me nuts.

Thanks,

Andy.

Jolly Green Monster

iTrader: (4)

sounds like you just need to stick at it..

Bartop

Yep was exactly the same - got to the point where we refused to put a nappy on him because as soon as we did he would go in it. It all came to head one day and he was literally sweating and crying as he was desperate to go, once he had done it though it was all downhill from there.

The more you keep putting a nappy on him the longer it will take imo..

Walwal

He's just been for the 1st time today. Not much, but enough to justify a pittle.

Going to give him his gold star, and we're going to set my old Hornby train set up as a special little treat for him as he's been shouting for it for a week now.



Long way to go yet tho

Thanks,

Andy.

Bodgery

Try not to despair too much. We had a similar thing with our two 3.5 yr old twins. Not properly trained until around their 3rd birthday, and still the occasional accident/attention seeking "incident" after that. You are no doubt (as we were) sick of people saying things like

"My daughter/son was potty trained at 12-18 months" - utter boll*cks, this is potty timing, not potty training.

Here's some points that may/may not help:

1) Always easier to train in summer than winter, as they can be outside without nappy on;

2) Ditch the nappies in the daytime and get training pants - he'll be more upset (hopefully) if he wets/poos his nice new pants than a boring replaceable nappy;

3) Ignore other people if you can - everyone is different and let's face it, I'm sure he WILL NOT be wetting himself when he's 6!! It'll come right in it's own good time, without do-gooders (inc. unhelpful grandparents sometimes) offering advice;

4) Stars, etc don't seem to be his thing. Nor were they any cop for our kids. We used chocolate instead. They very rarely get sweets in our house, so this proved to be a fantastic little bribe and it worked a treat. It took no more than 2 weeks in the end, once they were ready to be potty trained. We then weened them off the choc over the next month! Might be worth a go?

Overall, try not to make it too much of an issue, as it'll only prolong the problem. Good luck - let us know how it goes!

Cheers

PS. Just reread your post. You've tried sweets - maybe different, special ones? He might also be like one of ours was - a bit lazy and sometimes attention seeking?

Walwal

I definitely think the lazy bit might come into it.

Shall keep you informed.

Cheers,

Andy.

Lee247

Don't laugh, this worked for us. Put a ping pong ball in the bog, tell him to try to hit it. It's then a game and he'll want to go, just to try it. Honest.

bennyboy

my lad used to want to be just like me and stand up(now he is four he can reach without a step!) - maybe get him a step so he can stand and be like dad?

Its kinda hard with the 2yr old wanting to stand and do it though lol.. although he is still in nappies atm but will still pretend.

scooby-tc

iTrader: (2)

Im glad you posted this my little boy is 2½ and I'm just starting to potty train him as before he was never interested. he has never done anything in either a potty or on the toilet. Plan to just put him in pants and then let him tell me that he needs to go or as has previously been said let him mess himself and then tell me. I have tried to potty train him a couple of months back but he refuses point blank to do anything in either the toilet or the potty lets hope this time will be better.

Have you had a look on pampers and huggies website they used to have helpful tips on how to potty train. dont force your little boy until he is definately ready or that could make things worse aswll

Good luck ... I know how your feeling cos i'm starting it too

Tams

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

My three lads are all potty trained, however none of them seem able to grasp the flush concept, every day you pay a visit to find a good sized turd greeting you, could be the wife I suppose....

Sith

Just like public lav's then.

Walwal

The flushing part is the only thing he's got sussed. He flushes it even if there's nothing been done, even if he just walks past the bathroom, he'll nip in for a quick flush. Lol.

Update: I gave him his tea tonight, came upstairs to check my e-mails and by the time I got back downstairs (maybe 5 minutes), he'd wet himself big time. D'oh!!!!

Asked him why he hadn't told me he needed the toilet and the reply was "I was watching Big Cook Little Cook"

I hate smart **** kids

Andy.

Fluffmeister

We have got 3 year old twins, a boy and a girl, my daughter was way ahead, first to potty train, first to the toilet and now takes her own night time nappy off and is having dry nights. My son just took a little bit longer, had mad fit's over wanting a nappy on, just had to bite our lip and not give into him and put him in a nappy (until bed time). After a few "accidents" he just started going to the toilet as it was better than wetting himself. They are both about even now and seldom have "accidents"

I would not worry m8, boys just take that bit longer, and with twins it's actually true, seeing them both grow up together.

We never bothered with pull up nappy's either, we found them a waste of money, and they both liked the idea of wearing proper "undies".

Actually, we bought our lad some Incredibles underpants ........ one day in Asda he pops the waist band of them out of his trousers and says "thats you daddy, mr 'credible" to which I reply, "thats just what your mum calls me son" ..... oh how the checkout girl and old dear behind laughed

Cheers

Tony

Turbohot

My daughter was 2 when she started to manage without nappies.We visited India and she had her 2nd birthday there.It was so uncomfortable to see her in thick nappy in hot wheather.One day we just left her without the nappy and she had about two wees on the floor.Then i reckon she was terrified of the house flies attack.
She started to whinge before she needed one.We straight away would put her on the toilet seat.Thats the way, we got rid of her potty/nappies.

PIXIEDUST

We used rice krispies in the potty , made a game out of it and he really was dry day and night by 20 months.

MJW

Try reading a book with him when he goes - there's a few kid's potty books around (like this one)
Also ditch the nappies and stick to it ! We carried a portable potty round with us even in the car - if our daughter needed to go, or we felt it was time she went, I'd pop the tailgate so she could go in the boot ! Hanging them over a grate is soo demeaning ! Nappies are a safety blanket for them *and* you - take it away !

Stress to him he's too old for nappies and keep him in proper undies - the discomfort of wet pants should provide a bit of aversion therapy, so don't be in a mega hurry to change him. Also when you clean him up don't use warm water, but use tepid (although not stone cold) water to make it an inconvenience for him as well as yourself.

When he does sit on the loo or the potty make sure you heap praise on him, he'll really dig the attention. I know this might sound stupid but if you go to the loo yourself, and your missus tells you what a 'good boy' you are, within sight of your little lad, he should pick up on the positive vibes.
We also found that putting the potty in front of C-Beebies also helped - so no more missing of essential viewing like Big Cook Little Cook, Balamory, Fimbles, etc.

Lastly don't forget like most things in parenting its not an exact science and there's no set age for when a kid *should* be potty trained - don't compare your young un's performance to other kids, the time will come, just be patient ..

Walwal

Weekend update:

Saturday morning our lass took him out of the way cos I was busy in the house. In the afternoon, I was out on the drink and he did 1 pee in the toilet.

Yesterday, he did nothing until after 1. Then we asked him (for about the 100th time) if he needed to go and he said yes. After 10 minutes of sitting, he did anther pee. Then about 4, I decided to bribe him with some ice cream, and he did another one. He also asked to go before he went in the bath, but didn't manage one.

Looks like things are looking up.

And thanks for all the suggestions. It's better to know that I'm not the only one with a bit bother on this subject.

Andy.

Big C

Top thread!¬

some great advice here, which is well appreciated.

C

RB5 Paul

If you want to try an intensive course of potty training just let him drink a pint of *fosters and he'll want to go every 10 minutes,couple of nights of that and he'll have it sussed

*Discovered it was fosters that gives me the lager wee wee problem

N.B. You might have to buy it for him as he probably wont get served at the bar,unless you take him to a chav pub where he'll have to buy it for you

Walwal

OK, may have cracked it folks!!!

He's been 3 times today, and never wet himself since Friday. As I've been stripping wallpaper in one of the bedrooms today, he's just been floating about the house doing his own thing, but I've been asking him regularly if he needed to go. Twice he said he did. The 3rd time, he'd been downstairs watching Balamory, and I heard him come up the stairs.

"Dad, I want a wee". You couldn't have knocked the smile off my face with a shovel!!!

The secret I have used is I bought some after dinner mint flavoured ice cream from Asda. I told him that it was Dad's ice cream but if he went to the toilet he could have some. Now every time he goes he thinks he's getting ice cream he wouldn't normally have.

Once he's sorted going all the time we'll gradually get him off the ice cream lark. Very much like Bodgery did with the sweets.

It seems like the weeing is almost cracked, now all I have to do is get the number 2's sorted with him

Cheers,

Andy.

ScoobywagonGl

Aww bless glad you finally got things sorted given me a few ideas opn what to do with my little one!
good luck with the rest of it
Tams