new michael jackson jokes emerging, what have you got?
09 March 2005, 02:36 PM
#1
new michael jackson jokes emerging, what have you got?
I heard this one today, i must admit i nearly pi55 myself laughing.
Whats the difference between michael jackson and arthur scargill?
its been twenty years since arthur saw a miners helmet
Whats the difference between michael jackson and arthur scargill?
its been twenty years since arthur saw a miners helmet
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09 March 2005, 04:56 PM
#10
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Just to flood this thread......
Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!
Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my sun!
Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy!
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?
A: One is pale and scares kids and the other is a friendly
ghost.
Q: How do we know Michael is guilty?
A: Several children have fingered him.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson rush over to Wal-Mart?
A. He heard that boys' pants were 1/2 off.
Q. What's the difference between a supermarket bag and Michael Jackson? A. One is white, made of plastic, and should be kept away from small children. The other is used for groceries.
Q. How do you know when it's bedtime at the Neverland Ranch?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand.
Q. What's brown and often found in children's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's hand.
Q. What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams every night? A. Hanson.
Q. What the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?
A. Acne doesn't come on your face until you're about fifteen.
Q. Why can you always win a race with Michael Jackson?
A. Because he always likes to come in a little behind.
Q. What did Michael Jackson say to Gary Glitter?> A. I'll swap you a 10 for two fives
Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.
Janet and Michael Jackson were at home one night...
Janet: Shall we get a pizza and video tonight?
Michael: Yeah, okay, can we get Aladdin?
Janet: No, just a pizza and video
Q: What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years?
A: Michael Jackson
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?
A: The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out.
Q: What do Michael and homework have in common?
A: Both are a pain in the *** to kids
The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson:
If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make him a priest.
FBI have raided Michael Jackson's house:
They found class A drugs in his kitchen, Class B drugs in his living room and Class 5C in his bedroom.
Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son. The doctor walks in and Michael asks, "Doctor, how long before we can have sex?" I'd wait until he's at least 14," the doctor replies.
Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!
Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my sun!
Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy!
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?
A: One is pale and scares kids and the other is a friendly
ghost.
Q: How do we know Michael is guilty?
A: Several children have fingered him.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson rush over to Wal-Mart?
A. He heard that boys' pants were 1/2 off.
Q. What's the difference between a supermarket bag and Michael Jackson? A. One is white, made of plastic, and should be kept away from small children. The other is used for groceries.
Q. How do you know when it's bedtime at the Neverland Ranch?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand.
Q. What's brown and often found in children's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's hand.
Q. What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams every night? A. Hanson.
Q. What the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?
A. Acne doesn't come on your face until you're about fifteen.
Q. Why can you always win a race with Michael Jackson?
A. Because he always likes to come in a little behind.
Q. What did Michael Jackson say to Gary Glitter?> A. I'll swap you a 10 for two fives
Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.
Janet and Michael Jackson were at home one night...
Janet: Shall we get a pizza and video tonight?
Michael: Yeah, okay, can we get Aladdin?
Janet: No, just a pizza and video
Q: What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years?
A: Michael Jackson
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?
A: The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out.
Q: What do Michael and homework have in common?
A: Both are a pain in the *** to kids
The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson:
If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make him a priest.
FBI have raided Michael Jackson's house:
They found class A drugs in his kitchen, Class B drugs in his living room and Class 5C in his bedroom.
Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son. The doctor walks in and Michael asks, "Doctor, how long before we can have sex?" I'd wait until he's at least 14," the doctor replies.
10 March 2005, 11:32 PM
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I got a new car radio yesterday and it is terrific.
If I say "Rock" it plays rock and roll.
If I say "Rap" it plays rap.
If I say "Love" it plays love songs.
Three kids ran out in front of the car and I said
"Fu*king kids!"
And it played Michael Jackson.
If I say "Rock" it plays rock and roll.
If I say "Rap" it plays rap.
If I say "Love" it plays love songs.
Three kids ran out in front of the car and I said
"Fu*king kids!"
And it played Michael Jackson.
11 March 2005, 01:49 AM
#16
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Originally Posted by Gav1
Why does MJ like 28 year olds??
cos there's 20 of them!!
cos there's 20 of them!!
11 March 2005, 08:03 AM
#17
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I might have picked up this one on here, apologies if I did...
MJ's defence team are working round the clock after being presented with the latest evidence from the prosecution....
http://www.hankscorpio.com/img/tmp/jackson-evidence.jpg
MJ's defence team are working round the clock after being presented with the latest evidence from the prosecution....
http://www.hankscorpio.com/img/tmp/jackson-evidence.jpg
11 March 2005, 06:56 PM
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13 March 2005, 02:11 PM
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David Beckham rings Michael Jackson to invite him to go on a boat trip to celebrate the birth of his new baby.
Michael replies,"yeah,i'll come on your little cruise"
Michael replies,"yeah,i'll come on your little cruise"
13 March 2005, 07:39 PM
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What does Michael hand round after dinner?
The under Eights.
Michael Jackson has been spotted dangling children from a balcony again.
It makes a change because he usually tosses them off.
The under Eights.
Michael Jackson has been spotted dangling children from a balcony again.
It makes a change because he usually tosses them off.
13 March 2005, 07:40 PM
#28
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Michael Jackson was on a ship with 100 boy scouts when it hit an iceberg and started to sink.
The captain announced "We're sinking! Everyone abandon ship!"
Michael asked, "What about the children?"
The captain replied, "F*ck the children!"
Michael looked around eagerly and asked "Do we have time?"
The captain announced "We're sinking! Everyone abandon ship!"
Michael asked, "What about the children?"
The captain replied, "F*ck the children!"
Michael looked around eagerly and asked "Do we have time?"
13 March 2005, 07:44 PM
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A little eight year old boy is distraught because his parents have just been killed in a horrible car accident. He had no other family, so he is now an orphan, doomed to a life on the streets. He's sitting in the gutter in the pouring rain, sobbing his little heart out, with no money and no hope, cold and freezing and soaking wet.
Suddenly, a stretch limousine pulls up and out steps Michael Jackson.
"Hey, what's up little fella?" says a kindly Jackson. The little orphan boy tells Jackson his tragic story.
A look of pity on Jackson's face, he pats the little boy on the head and then drops his trousers and says, "It's just not your day, is it?"
Suddenly, a stretch limousine pulls up and out steps Michael Jackson.
"Hey, what's up little fella?" says a kindly Jackson. The little orphan boy tells Jackson his tragic story.
A look of pity on Jackson's face, he pats the little boy on the head and then drops his trousers and says, "It's just not your day, is it?"
