Propositioned last night
28 February 2005, 12:53 AM
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Propositioned last night
Bit of a moral dilemma going on in my head at the moment.
At my works night out last night, one of the office girls came on to me in a big way. She made it pretty clear what she wanted and was VERY "forceful".
Somehow I managed to restrain myself, and never went the full way with her but believe me it was difficult.
The problem is that I recently got married and I've never been unfaithful to my wife before.
Now, before the moral brigade get on their high horse, please understand that I could do with some sound, non-judgemental advice.
My wife and I have been going through a bit of a rough patch, and we have been together for 5 years. We fight loads, and at times, I just wish I could turn the page and wonder if its really worth all the hassle and fights.
I do love my wife, hence the reason I never let the other girl get past first base, but the thought of being with this other girl is confusing me big time.
The girl is pretty attractive and I guess I flirt with her quite a bit at work, but I suppose I flirt with all the girls, just part of my nature I guess. Anyway, this particular one took it upon herself to make the move, and I have no idea how I managed to control myself, given the drunken state we were all in.
Now, I have to go into work tomorrow and face the girl, and I assume that she is going to pursue the matter, and I don't know what to do.
I don't really expect folk to encourage me to take her up on her offer, but I'm really quite confused as to what to do.
I don't want to split from my wife either as I don't think I have the energy to go through a messy separation with mortgage and debt etc etc.
Sorry for rambling on, but my head really is up my ar$e at the moment....
At my works night out last night, one of the office girls came on to me in a big way. She made it pretty clear what she wanted and was VERY "forceful".
Somehow I managed to restrain myself, and never went the full way with her but believe me it was difficult.
The problem is that I recently got married and I've never been unfaithful to my wife before.
Now, before the moral brigade get on their high horse, please understand that I could do with some sound, non-judgemental advice.
My wife and I have been going through a bit of a rough patch, and we have been together for 5 years. We fight loads, and at times, I just wish I could turn the page and wonder if its really worth all the hassle and fights.
I do love my wife, hence the reason I never let the other girl get past first base, but the thought of being with this other girl is confusing me big time.
The girl is pretty attractive and I guess I flirt with her quite a bit at work, but I suppose I flirt with all the girls, just part of my nature I guess. Anyway, this particular one took it upon herself to make the move, and I have no idea how I managed to control myself, given the drunken state we were all in.
Now, I have to go into work tomorrow and face the girl, and I assume that she is going to pursue the matter, and I don't know what to do.
I don't really expect folk to encourage me to take her up on her offer, but I'm really quite confused as to what to do.
I don't want to split from my wife either as I don't think I have the energy to go through a messy separation with mortgage and debt etc etc.
Sorry for rambling on, but my head really is up my ar$e at the moment....
28 February 2005, 01:50 AM
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^ 
but
>I don't want to split from my wife either as I don't think I have the energy to go through a messy separation with mortgage and debt etc etc.
^ shouldnt be the reason to stick with someone in my views.If you are gonna be very lost without her and feel the new bird cant replace your wife ever,dont encourage the affair.But if above is the only reason to be with your missus, i'd loose half of everything and set her free so that she can find someone else and hopefully live happily ever after!
Moral dillemas can suck your brain!
Pain that gives you is unbearable
but
>I don't want to split from my wife either as I don't think I have the energy to go through a messy separation with mortgage and debt etc etc.
^ shouldnt be the reason to stick with someone in my views.If you are gonna be very lost without her and feel the new bird cant replace your wife ever,dont encourage the affair.But if above is the only reason to be with your missus, i'd loose half of everything and set her free so that she can find someone else and hopefully live happily ever after!
Moral dillemas can suck your brain!
Pain that gives you is unbearable
28 February 2005, 02:18 AM
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Originally Posted by RB5 Paul
Start signing everything over to your parents names and then divorce the argumentative cow,bone the slapper at work and have a little fun.
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28 February 2005, 02:24 AM
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IMHO you need to sort out your current relationship first before complicating things with a third party. Either work through the problems with your wife or slit up from her. I know, easier said than done but postponing things will only make it more difficult.
28 February 2005, 02:28 AM
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Originally Posted by what?!
I do love my wife, hence the reason I never let the other girl get past first base, but the thought of being with this other girl is confusing me big time.
I did leave the wife, and some time later have a fling with said girl, lasted a year now happily three years into new relationship with different girl. I was about to use the girl as an excuse to lose the wife, I didn't in the end. Be wary of this girl telling you every thing you want to hear, that will be next.
If you want to lose your wife dont use this as an excuse, just my tuppence worth having been there.
Take Care
28 February 2005, 09:30 AM
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start with the basic's, this lass at w**k may just be a bit of a tart when pi**ed, you'd be a tad foolish to start something before you speak to her sober......
28 February 2005, 09:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Turbohot
shouldnt be the reason to stick with someone in my views.If you are gonna be very lost without her and feel the new bird cant replace your wife ever,dont encourage the affair.But if above is the only reason to be with your missus, i'd loose half of everything and set her free so that she can find someone else and hopefully live happily ever after!
I know what yoiu are saying about breaking up before dipping my toe in someone else's water though.....
Originally Posted by RB5 Paul
Start signing everything over to your parents names and then divorce the argumentative cow,bone the slapper at work and have a little fun.
Originally Posted by Brit_in_Japan
IMHO you need to sort out your current relationship first before complicating things with a third party. Either work through the problems with your wife or slit up from her. I know, easier said than done but postponing things will only make it more difficult.
Originally Posted by Mr Sympathy
Sounds to me like you want to use this girl as a reason to lose the wife, you should not look for reasons like this look for others, that was the advice given to me when I was in your very same situation. I was told the grass is never greener on the other side. It rarely is.
Originally Posted by Mr Sympathy
If you want to lose your wife dont use this as an excuse, just my tuppence worth having been there.
Originally Posted by RichWalk
start with the basic's, this lass at w**k may just be a bit of a tart when pi**ed, you'd be a tad foolish to start something before you speak to her sober......
Originally Posted by sti-04!!
Bang her, think about it afterwards 
28 February 2005, 10:09 AM
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my 2p...
you need to completeley remove this bird at work from the equation, she is probably the main reason you will be having negative thoughts about your wife at the moment. *all* couples argue & bicker,some would say its healthy as it gets things out in the open.
If you love your wife as you say, and have gone 5 yrs without having your head turned by another woman then where is the problem? - you have done well, why **** it all up for a bit of trim at work?
you need to completeley remove this bird at work from the equation, she is probably the main reason you will be having negative thoughts about your wife at the moment. *all* couples argue & bicker,some would say its healthy as it gets things out in the open.
If you love your wife as you say, and have gone 5 yrs without having your head turned by another woman then where is the problem? - you have done well, why **** it all up for a bit of trim at work?
28 February 2005, 11:15 AM
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If she's engaged, then she's never worth the hassle. She'll only do it to you too.
Go home and sort things out. Once it's clear which way you're heading then you can make any decission - with a clear head and conscience. Perhaps that way (if you and your wife split) you can be amicable and maybe one day friends.
I had something simillar recently - just that I was on the other end, my partner of 5 years started seeing someone else when we had problems - I'll never forgive her, never respect her and never ever want to see her again - it hurts too much. DON'T do it to someone you love - imagine if she did it to you.
No easy answer is there though!
Go home and sort things out. Once it's clear which way you're heading then you can make any decission - with a clear head and conscience. Perhaps that way (if you and your wife split) you can be amicable and maybe one day friends.
I had something simillar recently - just that I was on the other end, my partner of 5 years started seeing someone else when we had problems - I'll never forgive her, never respect her and never ever want to see her again - it hurts too much. DON'T do it to someone you love - imagine if she did it to you.
No easy answer is there though!
Originally Posted by what?!
Yes, and she is engaged 
28 February 2005, 11:21 AM
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Some years ago I had a bizarre "incident" with one of my wife's friends.
We had been drinking all evening, the wife went to bed as she was hammered, and this "friend" starts making advances. Once I was sure I hadn't got my wires crossed I said something along the lines of "thanks but no thanks".
I had to work early in the morning and got home that evening to find the wife in a terrible strop - apparently the friend had decided to tell her all about it.
We had been drinking all evening, the wife went to bed as she was hammered, and this "friend" starts making advances. Once I was sure I hadn't got my wires crossed I said something along the lines of "thanks but no thanks".
I had to work early in the morning and got home that evening to find the wife in a terrible strop - apparently the friend had decided to tell her all about it.
28 February 2005, 11:37 AM
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Takes a much bigger man to walk away, you have put yourself in the position so get yourself out of it....
How people can do this to their loved ones is beyond me....
Imagine how your blood would boil should your wife be doing the dirty on you.....
How people can do this to their loved ones is beyond me....
Imagine how your blood would boil should your wife be doing the dirty on you.....
28 February 2005, 11:40 AM
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Sort out the issues with your wife. Once you've done this you will either be in a position to pursue the layyydees or you will continue to be firmly under the thumb with the rest of us "happily" married men .
.
28 February 2005, 11:56 AM
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It's something you gonna have to get used to....
I get women pouring over me all the time - you know the sort of thing - underwear in the office drawer, secret e-mails, naughty pics, banana flavoured condoms etc etc.
I wish.....
I get women pouring over me all the time - you know the sort of thing - underwear in the office drawer, secret e-mails, naughty pics, banana flavoured condoms etc etc.
I wish.....
28 February 2005, 12:03 PM
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what -
I was in your shoes about 10 yrs ago, and was too pi55ed to say no to a mates recent Ex bird.
he found out, my missus found, but the best bit, I was that spannered I can't even remeber if anything actually happend.
got sent to coventry by the lads, and my missus has never let me forget it , and I can't say I blame her, she is more forgiving than I ever could be - I would have just binned her if the tables were turned.
not worth it IMO.
I was in your shoes about 10 yrs ago, and was too pi55ed to say no to a mates recent Ex bird.
he found out, my missus found, but the best bit, I was that spannered I can't even remeber if anything actually happend.
got sent to coventry by the lads, and my missus has never let me forget it
, and I can't say I blame her, she is more forgiving than I ever could be - I would have just binned her if the tables were turned.not worth it IMO.
28 February 2005, 12:34 PM
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Originally Posted by paul-s
sti-04!!, love your theory on women
__________________________________________________ _______________
Awaits eClaire giving me another lecture (just coz she found me out
) 
Last edited by sti-04!!; 28 February 2005 at 12:36 PM.
28 February 2005, 12:47 PM
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Originally Posted by sulli
One tip - don't discuss it on a public forum - your missus could have a look here you know