joke...( alledged )
04 February 2005, 11:28 AM
#1
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joke...( alledged )
An Irishman an Englishman and a Scot were sitting in a bar. The view was
fantastic, the beer excellent, the food exceptional.
"Y'ken," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in
Glasgow there's a wee bar called McTavish's. Now, the landlord there goes
out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks he will
buy the 5th drink for you."
"Well," said the Englishman, "At my local, the Red Lion, the barman there
will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."
"Ahhh, that's nothin," said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin, there's
Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a
drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough
drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the
house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's
claims. But, the Irishman swears every word is true.
"Well," said the Englishman, "Did this actually happen to you?"
"Not me myself, personally, no," said the Irishman.
"But it did happen to me sister."
fantastic, the beer excellent, the food exceptional.
"Y'ken," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in
Glasgow there's a wee bar called McTavish's. Now, the landlord there goes
out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks he will
buy the 5th drink for you."
"Well," said the Englishman, "At my local, the Red Lion, the barman there
will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."
"Ahhh, that's nothin," said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin, there's
Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a
drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough
drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the
house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's
claims. But, the Irishman swears every word is true.
"Well," said the Englishman, "Did this actually happen to you?"
"Not me myself, personally, no," said the Irishman.
"But it did happen to me sister."
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04 February 2005, 12:50 PM
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I'm not sure if it's just me but when I first started frequenting this BBS there used to be lots of jokes and funny stuff posted up on a regular basis. It was always good for brightening up a dull afternoon and kept me coming back.
These days it seems anything funny posted gets slated as being SIAL, old or whatever, hence people don't bother anymore. I agree that sometimes it can get a bit OTT the amount of times some things are reposted, e.g. the chavoply thing, concentration test, etc., but aside from those sort of examples would it be possible to give it a rest so we get some humour back on this board
Flame suit on,
Graz
04 February 2005, 01:30 PM
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Fair point - so here's an oldie that ALWAYS makes me smile;-
Couple driving through village one evening when plod overtakes them and waves them to stop.
Plod get out of car and walks back to couples' car. The chap in driver's seat winds down window and copper asks "Do you always drive that fast - you're well over the speed limit?".
Before driver has a chance to comment his wife leans over and says "Oh yes, officer, he always likes to drive really fast through this village"
The copper is a bit taken aback and goes on to say "Also Sir, I noticed you weren't wearing a seatbelt" The guy replies "Oh yes I was it's just that I undid it in case I had to get out of the car"
Wife then pipes up "Oh no he wasn't - never wears them, doesn't believe in them"
Hubby then turns to wife and screams "Why don't you shut up you moaning ugly fecking bitch"
To which coppers asks "Does he always shout at you like that?"
To which wifey replies
"Oh no officer, only when he's been drinking!"
te-he
Couple driving through village one evening when plod overtakes them and waves them to stop.
Plod get out of car and walks back to couples' car. The chap in driver's seat winds down window and copper asks "Do you always drive that fast - you're well over the speed limit?".
Before driver has a chance to comment his wife leans over and says "Oh yes, officer, he always likes to drive really fast through this village"
The copper is a bit taken aback and goes on to say "Also Sir, I noticed you weren't wearing a seatbelt" The guy replies "Oh yes I was it's just that I undid it in case I had to get out of the car"
Wife then pipes up "Oh no he wasn't - never wears them, doesn't believe in them"
Hubby then turns to wife and screams "Why don't you shut up you moaning ugly fecking bitch"
To which coppers asks "Does he always shout at you like that?"
To which wifey replies
"Oh no officer, only when he's been drinking!"
te-he
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