The ant & the grasshopper - just a story?
19 January 2005, 06:43 PM
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The ant & the grasshopper - just a story?
See if you can draw any parallels with this story:
THE ORIGINAL STORY OF THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE MODERN BRITISH VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less
fortunate like him are cold and starving.
The BBC and ITV news channels show up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table filled with food.
Britons are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
The Democrats, the Greens and the Liberals demonstrate in front of the ant's house.
The BBC, interrupting a Travellers' cultural festival special from Stonehenge with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."
David Blunkett rants in an interview with David Frost that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."
The Blair Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retrospective to the beginning of the summer.
It is quickly passed through Parliament.
The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers.
Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retrospective taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
The ant moves to India, and starts a successful call centre for British banks.
The TV stations later show the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food though Spring is still months away, while the government owned house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house crumbles around him because he hadn't maintained it. Inadequate government funding is blamed, Neil Kinnock is appointed to head a commission of inquiry that will cost £10,000,000.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Daily Mail blames it on obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity.
The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of Albanian spiders, praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity, who promptly terrorize the community.
THE ORIGINAL STORY OF THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE MODERN BRITISH VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less
fortunate like him are cold and starving.
The BBC and ITV news channels show up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table filled with food.
Britons are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
The Democrats, the Greens and the Liberals demonstrate in front of the ant's house.
The BBC, interrupting a Travellers' cultural festival special from Stonehenge with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."
David Blunkett rants in an interview with David Frost that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."
The Blair Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retrospective to the beginning of the summer.
It is quickly passed through Parliament.
The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers.
Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retrospective taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
The ant moves to India, and starts a successful call centre for British banks.
The TV stations later show the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food though Spring is still months away, while the government owned house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house crumbles around him because he hadn't maintained it. Inadequate government funding is blamed, Neil Kinnock is appointed to head a commission of inquiry that will cost £10,000,000.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Daily Mail blames it on obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity.
The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of Albanian spiders, praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity, who promptly terrorize the community.
Last edited by Apple; 19 January 2005 at 10:58 PM.
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