wwp8

The Allied Invasion. The Trojan Horse. The Divine Plan. The following strategy puts them all to shame because it defines how to finally defeat the great beast of society: women.

Arguing with girls, like yoga, is a meaningless and inane exercise. A lot of guys hate doing it, most notably because it never seems like we can win. But you can win. Here's how.





Step 1. Abandon all logic. Girls don't use it, and you certainly shouldn't allow it to handicap you.

Step 2. If you believe strongly in something, do NOT give in to any aspect of it. Compromise is useless against girls, because they will rationalize that if they can get you to concede to one element, they can get you to quit on the whole ****in' Periodic Table. (Nothing like a little chemistry humor, right?)

Step 3. Don't be afraid to take cheap shots. Ever argue with a girl about something and they randomly insult you with something that has no relevance to the argument? That's their way of trying to wear you down and push you off-topic. Fight fire with fire, I say. Tell her she has a fat ***, small *****, an ugly face, disorienting facial hair, unwieldy hips, and is a genuinely awful person.



Step 4. Cite precedent. Girls have no concept of historical factors relating to the current situation. Most girls reading this just went over to dictionary.com to see what "precedent" meant.

Step 5. Interrupt her. Don't let her talk. Girls hate that like they hate other girls. It's hilarious, too. They get all frazzled.

Step 6. Don't take her seriously. Laugh at every point she deems serious in nature. Fart, if possible. Derail her emotional train.

Step 7. If the argument escalates, cut off all communication with her. If a girl can't find you, she can't continue arguing about bull****. Change your phone number, relocate, and get a name change if you must.

Step 8. Don't be fooled by "Let's stop arguing please." That's their way of making you let your guard down, so they can swoop in after you're worn down. Instead, say something like "Yeah, all this being right is exhausting for me." Pisses them off. Just trust me.

Step 9. Compare her unfavorably with another girl. This is especially effective if the comparison is with a girl that they simply abhor. Tell her something like, "Lisa is so much more compassionate than you." Girls hate other girls, like a deer hates a shotgun. And how do you take down a deer? Exactly.

Step 10. Don't be intimidated by the water works. That's their ultimate contingency, knowing that guys can't deal with a crying girl. Stay strong, don't let yourself get emotional, just think of something funny. Replay scenes from "Office Space" in your head if you must.

Step 11. Bust out, "I don't feel like fighting. I've proven my point." Then stop. Leave the argument. It pisses them off because a guy's natural reaction is to resolve, whereas a girl's is to continue forever and ever until the end of time until they hear that they are right. If a guy decides that he is right and won't budge, their whole concept of male-female relations is shot to ****. Again, mind games.

Step 12. Ask her if she's on the rag. Self-explanatory.

Step 13. When all else fails, tell her she's just like her mother. It's an ace-in-the-hole and will emotionally cripple her to such a degree she may even forget her whole argument.

Remember, girls are the less intelligent of the genders. All throughout history men have out-thought, out-invented, and out-created women in every facet of existence. Isn't it about time we won an argument for once? Gentlemen, that time is now.

gljam

Step 12. Ask her if she's on the rag. Self-explanatory.


use this one all the time

In fact this reminds me, must book an appointment at the dentist as our last argument ended in me having a tooth i now need to hold together with superglue

Fackin' women!

djuk

Theyre funny because theyre true

NotoriousREV

Step 13. When all else fails, tell her she's just like her mother. It's an ace-in-the-hole and will emotionally cripple her to such a degree she may even forget her whole argument.

I do this when pre-empting an argument. It nips it in the bud nicely

Freak

I once said if she put on 15 stone she would be exactly like her mother in every way.. went down a treat that did as she hated her mother.

StickyMicky

why are you arguing with a woman when your always right and never wrong
(works for me)

nicko13uk

Step 12. Ask her if she's on the rag. Self-explanatory.

That one worked for me the other night - she practically stopped mid-sentence.
Allowed me to watch the footy in peace!

Nick

Crapaud62

Step 13 Tell her she is startin gto sound like your mother! P!sses them off even more

pbee

ive used a few of these the mother one goy me a slap round the chops, be warned

SJ_Skyline

My gran didn't speak to one of her sisters for 25 years because of some altercation!

Leslie

Very perspicacious wwp8, and I bet you are pretty close to the mark as well.

Les

messiah

This one's the Nuke - but works for either sex...

"F*** Off 'cos you're a cr@p sh@g..."

New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

INCOMING!!!!! DUCK AND COVER!!!!!

Sith

The simple way to arguing with women is not to argue. You sit there and watch TV / Play on PC. She get's all steamed up grumpy, while you improve your frag count on UT2004.

theotherphil

Yup, I do this all the time.....winds her up something rotten!

Drunken Bungle Whore

Advice to women about arguing with men:


Don't bother - they don't have the intellectual capacity to keep up. This can be seen by the fact that they have to send each other emails with tips on how to win argmuents with women - and even then, they can't come up with more than 13 methods. 'Winning' a fight with a man is easy - get your t1ts out - they only have enough blood to power either their brain or their dick - never both.

Kellicious

Thank you DBW, That bought the thread nicely to a close. Looks like they're a bit stumped for something to come back with now!! Nice work

New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

Hey I resent that!! Not all us blokes are so easily distracted by **** you know! And one more thing.....
....
...
..
.

What was that about **** again?

New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

Ever head of a Baker's Dozen? Same principle applies!

Just to even things out -and in keeping with DBH's mindset- men can win, by getting their di*ks out!

Comedy is a great way of defusing a row!!

Sorry Lads, normal service will be resumed shortly!

Best

Brendan Hughes

DBW, you been analysing that Concentration Test for Men again?

Nicci

We make sure when rowing that we hold a pair of (small) scissors.

Do us girls have a list of instructions on how to win rows?

No, we don't need it.