hot off the press
28 October 2004, 08:24 PM
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hot off the press
**** IN xxxxxx MODE MADNESS
(Embedded image moved to file: pic18716.jpg)
xxxx brand new xxxx has stunned road testers with its performance, handling and a remarkable 11 separate modes for the car's seven-speed xxxxxx sequential gearbox. However, despite claims that this is simply "too many" modes, engineers in xxxxxx are said to be hard at work on even more selectable options for future versions of the semi-manual transmission. "You can never have too many modes," said one high-ranking engineeringer. "That's why the next generation xxxxxx will come with over 100 user selectable settings, almost all of them bafflingly pointless. To begin with there will be some fairly obvious choices such as 'Sport' which offers a more aggressive change strategy, 'Track Sport' which offers even more aggressive change strategy, and 'Club Sport' which offers a change strategy so aggressive that on every upchange the car will literally smack the driver in the face with a big club. These settings will be joined by other sport modes including 'Lucozade Sport', 'Sky Sport' and 'Dickie Davies' World Of Sport'" However, our Munich source says that this is just the tip of a very silly, gearbox-related iceberg. "The real developments for the next xxxxxxxx system will come in automatic mode," he claims. "Traditional autoboxes typically feature just a simple 'Winter' mode. We will take this to the next logical step with 'Spring', 'Summer' and 'Autumn' modes, plus additional settings including 'Drizzle', 'Light Breeze', 'Slightly Overcast' and 'Oooh, It's Mild For The Time Of Year' modes". Our xxxxx spy also claims that further developments may include modes selectable on the basis of the driver's mood, including 'Comfort', 'Tired', 'Bloody Annoyed' and 'Strangely Wistful'. However, he denied recent rumours that we may also in future see a 'Shouldn't You Have Decided On The Car's Settings For Us Since You're The ****ing Engineers' mode.
STOP PRESS: There was anger at xxxxxx last night following the return of a new xxxxxx press car used for an Autocar road test. Munich sources say the vehicle may have to be scrapped because the interior was 'drenched in xxxxx'.
??? mart
(Embedded image moved to file: pic18716.jpg)
xxxx brand new xxxx has stunned road testers with its performance, handling and a remarkable 11 separate modes for the car's seven-speed xxxxxx sequential gearbox. However, despite claims that this is simply "too many" modes, engineers in xxxxxx are said to be hard at work on even more selectable options for future versions of the semi-manual transmission. "You can never have too many modes," said one high-ranking engineeringer. "That's why the next generation xxxxxx will come with over 100 user selectable settings, almost all of them bafflingly pointless. To begin with there will be some fairly obvious choices such as 'Sport' which offers a more aggressive change strategy, 'Track Sport' which offers even more aggressive change strategy, and 'Club Sport' which offers a change strategy so aggressive that on every upchange the car will literally smack the driver in the face with a big club. These settings will be joined by other sport modes including 'Lucozade Sport', 'Sky Sport' and 'Dickie Davies' World Of Sport'" However, our Munich source says that this is just the tip of a very silly, gearbox-related iceberg. "The real developments for the next xxxxxxxx system will come in automatic mode," he claims. "Traditional autoboxes typically feature just a simple 'Winter' mode. We will take this to the next logical step with 'Spring', 'Summer' and 'Autumn' modes, plus additional settings including 'Drizzle', 'Light Breeze', 'Slightly Overcast' and 'Oooh, It's Mild For The Time Of Year' modes". Our xxxxx spy also claims that further developments may include modes selectable on the basis of the driver's mood, including 'Comfort', 'Tired', 'Bloody Annoyed' and 'Strangely Wistful'. However, he denied recent rumours that we may also in future see a 'Shouldn't You Have Decided On The Car's Settings For Us Since You're The ****ing Engineers' mode.
STOP PRESS: There was anger at xxxxxx last night following the return of a new xxxxxx press car used for an Autocar road test. Munich sources say the vehicle may have to be scrapped because the interior was 'drenched in xxxxx'.
??? mart
28 October 2004, 08:26 PM
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28 October 2004, 08:30 PM
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28 October 2004, 10:26 PM
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Originally Posted by mart360
sent to you too!!!
I just looked at the latest Sniffpetrol a couple of weeks ago, then when you posted this recognized the article. Not sure why the BMW and SMG references were removed (as well as the word "spunk")?
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