Richard Simpson

A letter from a tax inspector to one of his 'clients'.

This was in The Guardian Newspaper (apparently), definite proof that some civil servants still sit their entry exams...its worth a read
Dear Mr Addison,

I am writing to you to express our thanks for your more than prompt
reply to our latest communication, and also to answer some of the points you
raise. I will address them, as ever, in order.

Firstly, I must take issue with your description of our last as a
"begging letter". It might perhaps more properly be referred to as a "tax demand".
This is how we, at the Inland Revenue have always, for reasons of
accuracy traditionally referred to such documents.

Secondly, your frustration at our adding to the "endless stream of crapulent
whining and panhandling vomited daily through the letterbox on to the
doormat" has been noted. However, whilst I have naturally not seen the
other letters to which you refer I would cautiously suggest that their being
from" pauper councils, Lombardy pirate banking houses and pissant gas-mongerers"
might indicate that your decision to "file them next to the toilet in case of
emergencies is at best a little ill-advised. In common with my own
organisation, it is unlikely that the senders of these letters do see
you as a "lackwit bumpkin or, come to that, a "sodding charity". More likely they
see you as a citizen of Great Britain, with a responsibility to contribute to the
upkeep of the nation as a whole.

Which brings me to my next point. Whilst there may be some spirit of
truth in your assertion that the taxes you pay "go to shore up the
canker-blighted, toppling folly that is the Public Services", a moment's
rudimentary calculation ought to disabuse you of the notion that the
government in any way expects you to "stump up for the whole damned
party" yourself. The estimates you provide for the Chancellor's disbursement of
the funds levied by taxation, whilst colourful, are, in fairness, a little
off the mark. Less than you seem to imagine is spent on "junkets for Bunterish
lickspittles" and "dancing ******" whilst far more than you have accounted
for is allocated to, for example, "that box-ticking facade of a university system."

A couple of technical points arising from direct queries:

1. The reason we don't simply write "Muggins" on the envelope has to do
with the vagaries of the postal system;

2. You can rest assured that "sucking the very marrows of those with nothing
else to give" has never been considered as a practice because even if
the Personal Allowance didn't render it irrelevant, the sheer medical logistics
involved would make it financially unviable.

I trust this has helped. In the meantime, whilst I would not in any way
wish to influence your decision one way or the other, I ought to point out that
even if you did choose to "give the whole foul jamboree up and go and live
in India" you would still owe us the money. Please forward it by Friday.

Yours Sincerely,
H J Lee Customer Relations Operations Manager

TelBoy

It is, but nevertheless, definitely worth a revival!

Regacy

Pure class.
I presume he was promptly sacked for this?

Ringpeas

Yes, I have seen it before.

Still makes me PMSL though

TelBoy

If it *is* genuine, i would bloody well hope *not*!!

I'd promote the bloke!!