PuzzleSolver

To the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody...

CHAVHENIAN RHAPSODY

Is this the real life,
Or just the fantasy
My Nova actually goes
It can't be reality!

Open your eyes, Look to the sky, and see
I'm just chav boy, nobody loves me
Cos I'm covered in bling, and I ming,
I like those who sing, "shake dat ting"
Anyway the wind blows, I will be hanging with my kru... my kru.

Yo blud, just lamped a goff
Sov'reign ring to his head
Sent that **** to a hospital bed
Yo blud, but he looked at my bird
And I think that he was trying to steal my bitch,
Yo blud, ooohh ooohhh
Tha puss-ee dint he cry
When I lamped him just for being what he is
Keep it real, keep it real
Twas just a dirty goffick

Too late, da plodz are here
Come to nose on my petty theft
My kru run off, just me left
Goodbye, ma homiez, I've got to go
Got to leave you all behind and move to Slough
Yo blud, ooohh ooohhh
I don't wanna die
Any more than I want to get locked up in a borstal...

(Cue Brian May's riff, with bad scratching by MC Shabba D)

I see a little silhouetto of a man
It iz Spen, it iz Spen, Can I have some Skoll Special?
Or maybe White Lightning, need cheap beer it's fright'ning, me
What you say-o (what you say-o)
What you say-o (what you say-o)
What you sayayayayay-o

I'm just a Chav boy, nobody loves me
He's just a Chav boy, from a huge family
Spawn of his mother, a monstrosity!
Easy in, painful out, batty boyz about
Skank goffics, NO! Let's kick the **** out them! (Out of them)
Skank goffics, NO! Let's kick the **** out them! (Out of them)
Skank goffics, NO! Let's kick the **** out them! (Out of them)
Let's kick the **** out them!
Let's kick the **** out them!
Kick the **** out them!
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
Let's not do it, let's not do it, lets not start on these pussies
For We don't out number them by twenty to one!
To one! To one....

So uz tinkz uz can hatez uz and spitz on mah turf,
Well if I had mah kru behind me den it would be worse!
Ahh, ****er, you're just a batty ****er,
Iz it because, iz it because I iz black?
Yer mum! Yer mum!

No, it's cos you're an asshat,
Anyone can see,
No, it's cos you're an asshat,
You are just a ****wit chav to me...