Chris_S199

Well, as seems to be happening a lot lately, it looks likely that I'll be splitting up with my wife after being together for four and a half years. (the happiest years of my life) Tried giving her a few days apart and then talking it through and reading the "Save the marriage" book which suggested a lot of things (read faults) I could change in myself to get back on track. Trouble is it's not getting anywhere as she doesn't want me to change to something I'm not to sort things out as there'll always be the fear that I'll revert back. Thing is they're only little things but they all add up.

She also has feelings for another man. Lack of sleep and exhaustion mean I don't know what to do, if there is actually anything I can do - short of a miracle, any ideas?

Chris

ADP

Hey Chris really sorry to hear that.

TelBoy

Without wishing to be harsh, this sounds like a case of accepting the inevitable. Once a woman has made her mind up about a man, they almost never change their decision, i'm sorry to say.

Luke

She also has feelings for another man.
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Well thats maybe the problem?? Did she complain that you no longer made her feel like a real woman???? Once that feeling starts its nearly always over.

Jen

I'm sorry.

Chris_S199

Jen, it's not your fault.....

ajm

why are you accepting the blame for her fancying another man? I can't see how your faults can be blamed for that!

Johnny50

Chris.

Have you both thought of seeing a councillor ?

It may sounds a bit drastic, but every little helps mate.

Chris_S199

Thanks Johnny - I was reluctant to go to one, but I think it's worth a go as it can't do any harm...

Chris

STI SPUD

Chris and Jen,

You know where we are - both of you !! No need to say anything more at the moment.

Rach x

Scooby96

Try Relate - however its probably only worth it if you both want to save things.

When you say feelings for another man are you sure thats all it is?

Jye

It she wants it to work and you do it will, if she isnt interested in trying again then you've no chance. I,m sure you know how she feels about you, late nights talking for ages with little sleep seems to be my speciality these days.

I've had a few splits with my partner over the last few years, we are apart yet again but we always seem to talk round our problems. We've been together 15 yrs, perhaps that makes a diff, doubt it though.

I have feelings for another woman atm but I still love my GF much more. I'm sure we all have feelings for other people, its only human. If you both love each other it will work out.

GL

John

TelBoy

You just can't leave NACRO out of it, can you?

Jen

Yes. That's all it is.

Yeah - but how can you have feelings for someone else (I'm not talking about just fancing someone) and love another person? Surely when you love another person you shouldn't be wanting to be with someone else?

Anyway. This is Chris' thread, so I'm not going to hijack it...don't really want to discuss things on SN anyway...

Jye

--You just can't leave NACRO out of it, can you?--

And wooden spoon of 2004 award goes to............

Leave my biatch out of it, she's very broody at the moment

ProperCharlie

well i get feelings for another woman virtually every time i walk down the street. especially in summertime. i thought this was an intrinsic part of being a man? being a human even?

LMAO @ Tel

King RA

"I'm sooooo sorry". If I came on here saying what Chris is saying now, I 'd be quite offended by people who don't even know me saying how "sorry" they are. You probably don't even know the bloke and I doubt you even care.

Chris stop being such a wimp, this is probably why your missus is leaving you in the 1st place. Get out there and fight for her like a man, go and find this other bloke and kick his head in.

P.S I'm really sorry to hear this *bleh*

Jen

...everyone who's said "sorry" on this thread knows Chris personally...and I'm his wife so I think I'm entitled to say sorry

There are lots of groups of friends (in real life) on SN, so I think that was quite a bad reaction...

Jye

--well i get feelings for another woman virtually every time i walk down the street.--

No, you misunderstand Charlie, I really did have some feelings with this woman, that's half of the problem

****, I hate changing the tone of a serious thread, its just me Chris, I need cheering up anol m8

TelBoy

King RA, how you left?

Nothing like jumping in without all the facts, is there?

King RA

Your apologising to your husband for breaking up your marriage on an internet BBS (a subaru BBS at that). I'm sorry but this is ridiculous, your a bunch of weirdos.

I'm sticking to General Technical from now on cos I've had enough of you freaks.

red_dog104

Well, there is a time and place for everything and obviously this is the time and place for them now!!

Jen

...I've spent hours talking to Chris about this - and appologised *many* times. He knows I read SN daily and I would have felt terrible (not that I don't already) if I hadn't said anything.

Still. Probably best you stay in General Tech. anyway eh?

King RA

Chirs, sod Jen and get one of these:

Jye

--Yeah - but how can you have feelings for someone else (I'm not talking about just fancing someone) and love another person? Surely when you love another person you shouldn't be wanting to be with someone else?--

Sorry I missed that it was yourself Chris was talking about or I'd of kept my nose out of this thread. But now I've started Its never that easy though Jen, she has a long term partner as well, love is never just black and white. I've know her for years as a good friend and collegue, and it became a bit more than that one day.

They say the grass is always greener, and I'm sure we could make it work, but It might not. ATM we have decided that although the physical side of things was great (amazing?) that it would be anyway with someone new. But after 15 years together, who knows? We might both be back at the same point we are now.

Love is never easy, but I was always in it for the long run and I always try to make sure I do the right thing by my GF. Dont get me wrong my GF is an amazing person and so is the other woman. How do I even begin to choose when its all so complicated.

weapon69

Jye, Am i correct in thinking you cheated on your gf then?

Chris_S199

Thanks King RA - I'll bear that in mind, but she doesn't look the sort to go out with wimps

I didn't mean to "air my dirty laundry" on SN, I was really looking for inspiration and advice from people in our position to see if there really is a way through it. If there's one thing SN has in droves it's opinionated and experienced people.

And as Jye said, I want to be in it for the long haul and do what's right by Jen and our marriage.

Chris

Jen

Jye - no worries - it was never my intention to talk to Chris about these things on SN. I didn't know he was going to post the thread and am not especially overjoyed that he did...but it's his choice.

I wasn't going to say anything on this thread, but had to respond to KingRA's comments really..

King RA

Oh well good luck, whatever may happen

NACRO

quote: "And wooden spoon of 2004 award goes to............ "

jye and his failing relationship