going to lunch with an old flame - advice needed.
#1
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My mate is in a dilema.
He's happily living with his partner and will be getting married in June next year. However, he's recently recieved an email from the girl he lost his "V plates" to about 6 years ago, this email was in reply to one he sent while single and had forgotten he'd sent. Anyway, to cut the story short.... she's asked him to go for lunch to catch up on old times. They apparently knew each other since they were 5 but managed to ruin their friendship while at college by ******** at a party then trying a relationship for a month - after which they went their seperate ways. She's since gone on to become a succesful (and rich) sales manager for a pharmecuticals company.
So, my mate needs some advice as to whether he should "do lunch" or not.
He's happily living with his partner and will be getting married in June next year. However, he's recently recieved an email from the girl he lost his "V plates" to about 6 years ago, this email was in reply to one he sent while single and had forgotten he'd sent. Anyway, to cut the story short.... she's asked him to go for lunch to catch up on old times. They apparently knew each other since they were 5 but managed to ruin their friendship while at college by ******** at a party then trying a relationship for a month - after which they went their seperate ways. She's since gone on to become a succesful (and rich) sales manager for a pharmecuticals company.
So, my mate needs some advice as to whether he should "do lunch" or not.
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dodgy move IMO - I wouldn't like to think my missus was sneaking off for a cosy luch with an ex.
ask your mate how he'd feel if the shoe wre on the other foot so to speak.
ask your mate how he'd feel if the shoe wre on the other foot so to speak.
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#10
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Definitely a bad idea.
He's only going on the off-chance of a ****, i'll bet you. So is she, but she's probably not engaged, as girls tend not to do that sort of thing if they are. Tell him to catch up via e-mail, and go and pay for a hooker if he still needs a different ****.
He's only going on the off-chance of a ****, i'll bet you. So is she, but she's probably not engaged, as girls tend not to do that sort of thing if they are. Tell him to catch up via e-mail, and go and pay for a hooker if he still needs a different ****.
#11
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Thats exactly what I told him! But my middle aged colleagues said he should'nt go.
He says he hasnt goit his brown wings but she has LOL!
He's also a bit pissed that I've shared his problems with the world - ah well never mind
He says he hasnt goit his brown wings but she has LOL!
He's also a bit pissed that I've shared his problems with the world - ah well never mind
#12
Options as I see them :
Tell his missus, so everything is upfront and in the open.
Take missus with him to meal
Hide everything, be deceitful and potentially screw up his engagement.
What does he want from this ex? To be friends or is he after quick "before I'm married" sex? Would it bother him that much to NOT go to the meal?
Personally I think he should tell his other half.
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Tell him to take his other half with him!!! It'd be interesting to see how uncomfortable his ex would be and who knows he might get to bed them both as well
#18
I don't think he should do it. If he does want to do it in any way, then I think there's a problem with his current relationship and he shouldn't be marrying her.
You said he lost his virginity to her six years ago. I'm assuming from that, that he's still quite young (guessing he was in his teens), so perhaps he should re-think his plans. He's got plenty of time.
If I was with someone who I was going to marry I wouldn't even entertain the idea of seeing an ex. I wouldn't even reply to the e-mail.
You said he lost his virginity to her six years ago. I'm assuming from that, that he's still quite young (guessing he was in his teens), so perhaps he should re-think his plans. He's got plenty of time.
If I was with someone who I was going to marry I wouldn't even entertain the idea of seeing an ex. I wouldn't even reply to the e-mail.
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here's a lil story for you - one evening whe I was aout 18, I was out at a pub with the lads and got a call from another mate asking for a lift home from his bird's place in High Wycmobe (I was i a pub nearby). I said yes but diddnt know where she lived, we decided the easiest thing was for me to pick him up at 11:30 in Safeway car park in the middle of town.
Sat in the carpark at about 11:15 listening to the stereo waiting for my mate, the car park lights go out (town centre store not 24hr). Diddnt think anything of it - 11:23 my car door opens as I'm sending a text, assumed it was my mate so carried on sending text and diddnt look up.
You can imaging my suprise when I looked up to find a mid 30's looking woman sat there!!!
"Hi I'm Lisa, how are you"
"get out of my car woman!"
"So you're not up for it then?"
"NO!! - get out of my car I'm waiting for my mate"
"Well, they're obviously not coming so do you want some fun?"
"NO! get out of my car!!"
"its only £20"
"get out"
and with that she left, not before having the cheek to turn round and say "we can come to a cheaper price for something else if you cant afford it" - "GO AWAY!"
Really funny now but kinda scary at the time - luckily my mate diddnt see at the time but has since said she's a regular down there.
Sat in the carpark at about 11:15 listening to the stereo waiting for my mate, the car park lights go out (town centre store not 24hr). Diddnt think anything of it - 11:23 my car door opens as I'm sending a text, assumed it was my mate so carried on sending text and diddnt look up.
You can imaging my suprise when I looked up to find a mid 30's looking woman sat there!!!
"Hi I'm Lisa, how are you"
"get out of my car woman!"
"So you're not up for it then?"
"NO!! - get out of my car I'm waiting for my mate"
"Well, they're obviously not coming so do you want some fun?"
"NO! get out of my car!!"
"its only £20"
"get out"
and with that she left, not before having the cheek to turn round and say "we can come to a cheaper price for something else if you cant afford it" - "GO AWAY!"
Really funny now but kinda scary at the time - luckily my mate diddnt see at the time but has since said she's a regular down there.
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I was about to say I think he should go for it and let his misses know but from the last post sounds like my misses and I wouldnt know what to do, Id probably end up going (not for the ****) and not tell the misses and screw things up anyhow but thats cause Im a cu/\/t and dont think. he should tell her and try to gain her trust at the same tie by doing it
#24
There shouldn't be any confusion if he's marrying the girl though, should there?
If you're getting married to someone then you don't do things behind their back, it's a simple as that.
If you're getting married to someone then you don't do things behind their back, it's a simple as that.
#25
Unless you're 50% of the population on this board, though.
Ok - so his missus is over protective and jealous.... Maybe. Or she doesn't trust him as far as she can throw him because she knows what he's like.
Best solution : mail back the ex saying that circumstances have changed, he's no longer available and thanks, but no thanks. Hope she understands.
Ok - so his missus is over protective and jealous.... Maybe. Or she doesn't trust him as far as she can throw him because she knows what he's like.
Best solution : mail back the ex saying that circumstances have changed, he's no longer available and thanks, but no thanks. Hope she understands.
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