Mark Miwurdz

Could be a good thread for the weekend - I'll get it started:

When her daughter got married in Bicester,
Her mother remarked as she kissed her,
"That fellow you've won,
Is sure to be fun,
Since tea he's fcuked me and your sister."

Scoobydid

There was a young man from Bombay
Who fashioned a f4nny from clay
The heat from his pr1ck
Turned the clay into brick
and chaffed all his 4skin away

mik

Old Mother Hubbard, went to the cupboard,
To fetch her young doggy a bone.
As she bent down, her dog came around,
And gave her a bone of his own.

Mark Miwurdz

Behind the old Model T
Is where she first showed it to me
It was hairy and black,
And she called it a crack,
But it looked like a manhole to me

DJ Dunk

iTrader: (5)

There once was a man from China,
who wasn't a very good climber,
he slipped on a rock,
and cut off his ****,
and now he has a vag!na

DJ Dunk

iTrader: (5)

On the t!ts of a barmaid in Sale
Were tattooed all the prices of ale.
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind,
Was the same list of prices in Braille

Mark Miwurdz

There was a young girl from Australia
Who considered all dicks a failure
So she lay on her back
And opened her crack
And in backed a lorry and trailer.

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

And a clean one:

There was a young man from Japan,
Whose limericks never quite ran.
When asked why this was,
He answered "because,
I always try and get as many words into the last line as I posssibly can!"

Alcazar:

Gordo

There was a young man from Gwent
Whose ***** was unusually bent
To save him from trouble
He'd **** with it double
So he didn't just come, he went!

There was a young lady from
Whose pubic hair hung to her knees
Her crabs got together
To knit her a sweater
So in winter her c4nt wouldn't freeze

Mark Miwurdz

An elderly pervert in Nice
Who was long past wanting a piece
Would jack off his hogs
His cat and his dogs
'til his parrot called in the police.