A passenger plane travelling to California is suddenly hit with a
severe engine problem and plummets into the Pacific Ocean.
The impact is such that the plane is ripped apart leaving only
one man alive. After hours of swimming he spies an island and
drags himself up onto the sandy shores. Though he is half drowned
and aware that he is thousands of miles from home, he cannot but
admire the beauty of the island he has found himself on.
Looking down the beach he sees a figure lying on the beach,
another survivor from the crash. He runs over and sees that she
is not breathing, so quickly he gives her the kiss of life.
After several attempts she coughs into life.
As she wipes the hair from her face he now can see who it
is.....................it's Kylie Minogue. Forever grateful
to him for saving her life, they strike up an immediate bond,
and over the following weeks, while stranded on the island,
they fall madly in love.
One day Kylie is walking down the beach and notices her new
found Love sitting on the rocks by the beach, staring out to sea,
with a look of sorrow on his face.
She wanders over to him, and asks what is wrong.
"Kylie," he says, "The last few weeks have been the greatest
of my life. We've found this island paradise. We have all the
food and water we could require, and I have you, but still I can't help feel there's something missing."
Kylie replies: "What my darling? What is it that you need?
I'll do anything".
"Well there is one thing. Would you mind putting on my shirt?"
"OK"
"And my trousers?"
"OK"
At this point he gets up and grabs some charcoal from the
ground, and draws a neat moustache on her lips.
"OK....... Can you start to walk around the island, and I'll set
off the other way and meet you half way."
"OK dear, whatever will make you happy." So off they set.
After an hour walking he eventually sees her heading towards him
along the beach, at which point he breaks into a sprint,
runs up to her, grabs her by the shoulders and shouts:
.
.
.
.
.

"Hey mate, you won't f**king believe who I'm sh***ing!!

 

Brilliant m8

 

 

ROFLMAO

 

 

A bloke stuck alone on a desert island with only a pig and dog for company. After a while the blokes sexual urges are more than he can bare and he's takes a fancy to the pig.

"Right" he says one day "I'm gonna have the pig!" As soon as he walks to the pig and undoes his fly, the dog starts to growl and bark. The bloke immediately pulls his pants up and thinks better of it.

The next day, he tries again, but as soon as he drops his pants, the dog appears and threatens to bite him.

Soon after he sees a figure lying on the beach, as he gets closer he see's that it's a beautiful woman who's just been shipwrecked. After the kiss of life she comes round... "You saved my life!" she exclaims "If there's anything you want just ask!"

the bloke reply's "You wouldn't mind taking that dog for a walk would you?"

 

Four men and a women who crash landed on a desert island in simular circumstances, for months they managed to keep going but there was one thing that divided the group and caused massive problems, all 4 men were in turn sleeping with the women. Eventually a group meeting was called and they decided that after all this time it was only decent bury the women as she was starting to decompose

 

lol