Confused BMW driver...
04 November 2003, 07:13 PM
#1
Forty-three-year-old BMW owner David Sharpe returned his BMW M3 Coupe to his local dealer last week, complaining of "these flashing yellow lights that come on whenever I move the stick attached to the steering column, up or down."
"So I got out of my car the other day and it looked like the car alarm was going off. These yellow lights were flashing, but there was no sound. Then I noticed the lights were only flashing on one side. It was odd," explained Sharpe.
"It took me a while to figure it out, but I realised that I must have brushed against this stick as I got out the car, because if I move the stick up, the yellow lights flash on one side of the car, and if I move the stick down, they flash on the other side of the car. What the heck is that about?" he continued.
"Everything on this car is there for a reason right? The ABS is there so I can brake quickly when the guy who is dumbly driving just 5 feet in front of me slams on his brakes. The car alarm has adjustable sensitivity, so I can get passing cars to set it off during the night so I know the car hasn't been stolen. But these flashing lights? What am I? Some sort of emergency vehicle?"
"Anyway I took my car back to the dealer last week so he could fix it. The dealer told me that apparently it was some 'safety feature' that BMW has to put in by law. He said he didn't get it either, but BMW fit it as standard - it's not even an optional extra! He also showed me another pointless 'safety feature' - if you pull the headlight stick on a BMW toward you and then release it, it makes the lights go less bright! I mean - what the heck - why would I want to be able to see LESS of where I'm going?"
"So I got out of my car the other day and it looked like the car alarm was going off. These yellow lights were flashing, but there was no sound. Then I noticed the lights were only flashing on one side. It was odd," explained Sharpe.
"It took me a while to figure it out, but I realised that I must have brushed against this stick as I got out the car, because if I move the stick up, the yellow lights flash on one side of the car, and if I move the stick down, they flash on the other side of the car. What the heck is that about?" he continued.
"Everything on this car is there for a reason right? The ABS is there so I can brake quickly when the guy who is dumbly driving just 5 feet in front of me slams on his brakes. The car alarm has adjustable sensitivity, so I can get passing cars to set it off during the night so I know the car hasn't been stolen. But these flashing lights? What am I? Some sort of emergency vehicle?"
"Anyway I took my car back to the dealer last week so he could fix it. The dealer told me that apparently it was some 'safety feature' that BMW has to put in by law. He said he didn't get it either, but BMW fit it as standard - it's not even an optional extra! He also showed me another pointless 'safety feature' - if you pull the headlight stick on a BMW toward you and then release it, it makes the lights go less bright! I mean - what the heck - why would I want to be able to see LESS of where I'm going?"
05 November 2003, 08:11 AM
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My hairdresser (Vito's in Finchley..makes a good cup of coffee) showed me hid new car yesterday..BMW. Looked at him and asked him if he had run out of imagination!!!! the look on his face.
05 November 2003, 12:04 PM
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My brother-in-law used to tell a joke about a guy who buys a new car, and all of the controls are worked through a single ****. (The punch line was, the **** broke.) Now BMW has actually built that car...
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