unclebuck

Gerard Houllier sends his scouts out around the globe looking for new talent. He gets a phone call from Iraq and the scout says he's found this incredibly skilled young striker. Gerard brings him over to Liverpool and, impressed with his skills, signs him up.

Saturday comes and Liverpool are losing 4-0 to Everton with 30 minutes to go. Gerard takes Heskey off and replaces him with the young Iraqi who places an absolute blinder and scores five times in the last 20 minutes. Houllier is delighted, the fans go crazy with admiration, the young striker is the talk of the football world.

He gets home and decides to phone his Mum. He says, "Mum, I've just got to tell you what a great day I've had! I played my first game for Liverpool, scored five goals and won the match for the team! I'm a hero!"

His Mum says, "That's just great, but what about the terrible day we've had while you've been enjoying yourself. Your Dad's been shot, your younger brother's been mugged by a rampaging mob and your sister and I have been gang-raped!"

The lad says, "Oh, Mum. That's terrible. I'm so sorry."

Mum shouts, "Sorry? Sorry? Is that all you can say? It was your fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place!"

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