My Son - The Bully!
25 September 2003, 04:41 PM
#1
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Casualty or Holby City, Take your pick, it's not like that in real life!!
Posts: 4,086
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Some of you may remember a while back that my 5 year old was being bullied by another boy of the same age. Well, after speaking to the teacher, things seemed to calm down but my son spent the whole of the 6 weeks hols worrying about going back. I decided to take it up with the Head Teacher to try to resolve any problems.
Had a meeting in which I was told that my son was too boisterous and caused the problems in the playground and that the boy who I had accused of 'bullying' actually was very well behaved. I named incidents that myself and my parents had witnessed and he seemed uninterested.
Anyway, this kid yesterday twisted my sons arm and wouldn't let go, so my lad bit him (very hard
) The head has taken pictures and written a report and has pretty much branded him a bully. FFS, he finally defends himself and he's penalised for it. I should be grateful he's not been excluded aparently!
I'm really fecking annoyed!
Had a meeting in which I was told that my son was too boisterous and caused the problems in the playground and that the boy who I had accused of 'bullying' actually was very well behaved. I named incidents that myself and my parents had witnessed and he seemed uninterested.
Anyway, this kid yesterday twisted my sons arm and wouldn't let go, so my lad bit him (very hard
) The head has taken pictures and written a report and has pretty much branded him a bully. FFS, he finally defends himself and he's penalised for it. I should be grateful he's not been excluded aparently! I'm really fecking annoyed!
25 September 2003, 04:49 PM
#3
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Feb 1999
Location: Lots of different places! (Thank you Mr. Lambert)
Posts: 3,037
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
red_dog,
No offence meant here, but if you remember when you originally posted I pointed out that talking to the teachers would be no use as they would take the easy option out of the situation - Q.E.D.
The exact same thing happened to my wife years and years ago and she still remembers the bullying and how the cowardly spineless teachers branded her the problem.
I really feel for you over this situation, but I also urge you to act and act soon for your son's sake. You are going to have to take a different course of action as the teachers will not help.
If you are adamant that your son is entirely the victim (and I'm not saying he isnt, but you must be sure) then you have got to seek legal advice or as a last resort take matters into your own hands.
My wife still has the memories from 30 years ago, don't let your son end up the same way.
I wish you all the very best with this matter,
Regards,
tiggers.
No offence meant here, but if you remember when you originally posted I pointed out that talking to the teachers would be no use as they would take the easy option out of the situation - Q.E.D.
The exact same thing happened to my wife years and years ago and she still remembers the bullying and how the cowardly spineless teachers branded her the problem.
I really feel for you over this situation, but I also urge you to act and act soon for your son's sake. You are going to have to take a different course of action as the teachers will not help.
If you are adamant that your son is entirely the victim (and I'm not saying he isnt, but you must be sure) then you have got to seek legal advice or as a last resort take matters into your own hands.
My wife still has the memories from 30 years ago, don't let your son end up the same way.
I wish you all the very best with this matter,
Regards,
tiggers.
25 September 2003, 04:50 PM
#4
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Casualty or Holby City, Take your pick, it's not like that in real life!!
Posts: 4,086
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
The lads dad is a dole waller, like his mum! 2 bed council house, 6 kids, 2 adults and a dog!!!
25 September 2003, 05:02 PM
#6
Guest
Posts: n/a
Sorry to hear that, but I was also one who said the teachers wont do a thing on that original thread. The only message is to say they deal with the boys parents accordingly or you deal with it yourself at their school with the boys parents and make a scene in front of everyone making them fuly aware the school are unprepared to tackle the issue of bullying. Taking it into your own hands is the only way when it comes to schools.
And just to add, my son told me he was being hit by another boy in the playground. I asked him if he did anything back and he said no. I told him if the same boy keeps doing it he has my full permission to thump him as hard as he can (once only and he is not to go round hitting people generally) and then when the teacher tells him off to tell the teacher to call daddy on his mobile so I can take it up with them. Teachers are a total waste of space and just do not pay any attention as to what goes on in playgrounds and then wonder why they get irate parents at the school saying what has happened to my child!
[Edited by ************** - 9/25/2003 5:08:58 PM]
And just to add, my son told me he was being hit by another boy in the playground. I asked him if he did anything back and he said no. I told him if the same boy keeps doing it he has my full permission to thump him as hard as he can (once only and he is not to go round hitting people generally) and then when the teacher tells him off to tell the teacher to call daddy on his mobile so I can take it up with them. Teachers are a total waste of space and just do not pay any attention as to what goes on in playgrounds and then wonder why they get irate parents at the school saying what has happened to my child!
[Edited by ************** - 9/25/2003 5:08:58 PM]
25 September 2003, 05:08 PM
#7
My lad had this at school: bullied because he was a terror at juniors, and wifey, a local headteacher, put pressure on him to do it the right way at seniors, and "tell", so the teachers could deal with it.:
The teachers, of course were too busy trying to enforce uniform, and other such crap, that they never did anything for him ,and labelled him the problem[img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
He did as mother asked for almost two terms.The other kids got the idea he was a wimp, and started on him. It lasted until he put one in hospital. He got a week's suspension, and the other kid never touched him again.
He now is 17, And won't be bullied: last week one of my neighbours lost it with him, and hit him in the face!
It was the only blow the guy managed to land, and he ended up with split lips, bent nose and loose eteeth, by the time he backed off. My lad was virtually unmarked.
My kid WILL NOT be bullied now!
Alcazar
: The teachers, of course were too busy trying to enforce uniform, and other such crap, that they never did anything for him ,and labelled him the problem[img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
He did as mother asked for almost two terms.The other kids got the idea he was a wimp, and started on him. It lasted until he put one in hospital. He got a week's suspension, and the other kid never touched him again.
He now is 17, And won't be bullied: last week one of my neighbours lost it with him, and hit him in the face!
It was the only blow the guy managed to land, and he ended up with split lips, bent nose and loose eteeth, by the time he backed off. My lad was virtually unmarked.
My kid WILL NOT be bullied now!
Alcazar
Trending Topics
25 September 2003, 05:13 PM
#8
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Bradford
Posts: 13,720
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
No offence meant here, but if you remember when you originally posted I pointed out that talking to the teachers would be no use as they would take the easy option out of the situation - Q.E.D.
25 September 2003, 05:40 PM
#10
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 426
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
What's the earliest you can start karate or the like? Not suggesting for a moment that you train your little 5 y.o. to be some sort of street warrior, but merely the fact that people are studying martial arts puts a lot of others off.
Plus it's good for him, teaches him the difference between blind aggression and controlled force, gets the right mental attitude which says that you WILL NOT be pushed around ... all useful for later life.
Plus it's good for him, teaches him the difference between blind aggression and controlled force, gets the right mental attitude which says that you WILL NOT be pushed around ... all useful for later life.
25 September 2003, 05:41 PM
#11
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: macclesfield
Posts: 241
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
when i was a kid my old man taught me that if someone bullied you or hit you hit them back twice as hard, and dont let them get up. I agree with you there is no justice for justice....if you see where i am coming from?
25 September 2003, 05:45 PM
#12
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Disco, Disco!
Posts: 21,825
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Suggest you get some publicity about this, this is discraceful.
Also write to the head (yeh, that's a laugh) of the school, copy the head of the local education committee and your MP, keep a record of all events, phone calls, etc. You need to build up a case.
Suggest contacting the tabloids, local rags and watchdog!
Good luck to you and your son and i hope you get it sorted.
[Edited by Paul Habgood - 9/25/2003 5:50:09 PM]
Also write to the head (yeh, that's a laugh) of the school, copy the head of the local education committee and your MP, keep a record of all events, phone calls, etc. You need to build up a case.
Suggest contacting the tabloids, local rags and watchdog!
Good luck to you and your son and i hope you get it sorted.
[Edited by Paul Habgood - 9/25/2003 5:50:09 PM]
25 September 2003, 07:37 PM
#14
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: London
Posts: 4,797
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
so basically it is all the teachers' fault. i see.
i'm not saying that this is the case with your son, but many parents genuinely don't know how their children behave at school.
"my son/daughter would never do that" is heard all too often. give the teacher's some credit - they do spend 8 hours a day with the kids...
i'm not saying that this is the case with your son, but many parents genuinely don't know how their children behave at school.
"my son/daughter would never do that" is heard all too often. give the teacher's some credit - they do spend 8 hours a day with the kids...
25 September 2003, 08:08 PM
#15
BANNED
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: In my own little world
Posts: 9,644
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
"Use the old thread as evidence that you identified a problem and sought advice on how to address it effectively"
The power of scoobynet..... Dont forget to let them know we have Astraboy on our side..
If you are that sure and nothing is been done .... give the head a good smack in the gob and tell them theres more if they want it.
The power of scoobynet..... Dont forget to let them know we have Astraboy on our side..
If you are that sure and nothing is been done .... give the head a good smack in the gob and tell them theres more if they want it.
25 September 2003, 08:21 PM
#16
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Casualty or Holby City, Take your pick, it's not like that in real life!!
Posts: 4,086
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I'm possibly one of the only parents I know who actually knows her child is an a*sehole!!! Yes he's boisterous, yes he tells fibs, yes he plays rough but that don't mean he deserves one kid singling him out and making his life a misery.
The other kids mum spoke to my mum today (they know each other) and said that it's not worth adults falling out over and kids will be kids. She also talked to my son, told him he had left a nasty bruise but not to worry! She's obviously not bothered and i'm pretty sure that it'll all stop now.
Just the school to deal with now. They have put my lad in "The Grumpy Book" and I think are going to make him stop in some play times.
The other kids mum spoke to my mum today (they know each other) and said that it's not worth adults falling out over and kids will be kids. She also talked to my son, told him he had left a nasty bruise but not to worry! She's obviously not bothered and i'm pretty sure that it'll all stop now.
Just the school to deal with now. They have put my lad in "The Grumpy Book" and I think are going to make him stop in some play times.
25 September 2003, 08:28 PM
#17
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: London
Posts: 4,797
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
respect to you for that honesty, red_dog. You seem to know what the issues are and are prepared to deal with it - good attitude. I just get annoyed when people seem to think that teachers are the cause of all the problems.
25 September 2003, 08:37 PM
#18
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 70
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
One of my biggest fears is my kids being bullied - and me not being there to help.......... Sorry to hear about all your probs red dog..
Loads of you disagree but as soon as he is 3 my son will be starting TaeKwonDo Kids training. 2 30minute sessions a week, mainly aimed a having fun in a friendly environment and starting to learn some discipline(in a nice way lol). (They do get little unifoms )
Hopefully he will enjoy it, if he doesn't then I will have to rethink! Have a look round and see if there is anything local to you... and go and talk to the instructors.
Ben
Loads of you disagree but as soon as he is 3 my son will be starting TaeKwonDo Kids training. 2 30minute sessions a week, mainly aimed a having fun in a friendly environment and starting to learn some discipline(in a nice way lol). (They do get little unifoms
)Hopefully he will enjoy it, if he doesn't then I will have to rethink! Have a look round and see if there is anything local to you... and go and talk to the instructors.
Ben
25 September 2003, 08:42 PM
#19
Seems to go on everywhere, the little s**t over the road from us and his mate both aged 7 got a little girl in their school yesterday who had run off with one of their jumpers, held her down and tore the braids out of her hair leaving a two inch bald spot, evil little f*cker. The dad rang his mum complaining and she said that she should have run off with his jumper, wtf, kids do that, its infant style flirting, innocent but ripping a two inch clump of hair isnt, and her hair was most of the way down her back, how long will that take to grow back. Its difficult as my wife is good freinds with the lady over the road and told her what she had heard about her little darling (who can do no wrong in her eyes) and she just played it down.
This kid (I only know the one from near us) is wilfull, aggressive, petulant and a ginger as well. I suspect he would be a pet torturer if he had one (judging by what he does to other kids) and mature into a well balanced serial killer.
This kid had a battle with my middle lad (six) and they went at it hammer and tongues as my lad cant stand this kids and keeps away but after the battle when it had calmed down the little turd ran full at my kids back when he wasnt looking and launched him into the climbing frame and really bruised and battered him in the process. He called me 'Mr poopey head' the other day, he cant even insult in a good way, oy **** head I could have respected but mr Poopey head, no way, and he still has milk from a baby cup every night or he has tantrums, remember spoilt B4stard from Viz, well this is him in the flesh, spoilt obnoxious little creep.
When this git comes round I am tempted to let him have an accident with all the recently scooped up dog **** from our large garden, some of it can lay there a week until it gets discovered, some is 'anus fresh', lets see who is mr Poopey head then.
This kid (I only know the one from near us) is wilfull, aggressive, petulant and a ginger as well. I suspect he would be a pet torturer if he had one (judging by what he does to other kids) and mature into a well balanced serial killer.
This kid had a battle with my middle lad (six) and they went at it hammer and tongues as my lad cant stand this kids and keeps away but after the battle when it had calmed down the little turd ran full at my kids back when he wasnt looking and launched him into the climbing frame and really bruised and battered him in the process. He called me 'Mr poopey head' the other day, he cant even insult in a good way, oy **** head I could have respected but mr Poopey head, no way, and he still has milk from a baby cup every night or he has tantrums, remember spoilt B4stard from Viz, well this is him in the flesh, spoilt obnoxious little creep.
When this git comes round I am tempted to let him have an accident with all the recently scooped up dog **** from our large garden, some of it can lay there a week until it gets discovered, some is 'anus fresh', lets see who is mr Poopey head then.
25 September 2003, 08:48 PM
#20
Scooby Regular
Red-Dog, sorry to hear this. I am the Chair of Governors at a College with 1000 pupils aged 11-16 .... rather challenging you can imagine!!
My advice??
1. Ask the school for their Complaints Policy and Procedure
2. It will state the points of contact, teacher, senior teacher, head and, finally, the Chair of Governors - after that its the LEA (but the Chair of Governors HAS to hold a meeting with you, head and whoever else he/she sees fit)
3. Don't be fobbed off .............. BUT, and this is VERY important, follow the procedure as laid down by the governors to the LETTER .... if you do that then they HAVE to take notice!
Good Luck, I don't think anyone here can objectively comment upon the situation - I have learnt over many years as governor that every story has a thousand sides!!
Regards
Pete
My advice??
1. Ask the school for their Complaints Policy and Procedure
2. It will state the points of contact, teacher, senior teacher, head and, finally, the Chair of Governors - after that its the LEA (but the Chair of Governors HAS to hold a meeting with you, head and whoever else he/she sees fit)
3. Don't be fobbed off .............. BUT, and this is VERY important, follow the procedure as laid down by the governors to the LETTER .... if you do that then they HAVE to take notice!
Good Luck, I don't think anyone here can objectively comment upon the situation - I have learnt over many years as governor that every story has a thousand sides!!
Regards
Pete
25 September 2003, 09:49 PM
#23
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,329
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
my tuppenth bit..
my 9 year old had the same problem, some kid having a go all day...
got my little one in the bogs and was giving it the "gonna get yer routine" anyway he had a pop at my nipper ...
and my nipper had enough and decked him...
when i spoke to his teacher,, he said he couldnt belive my son , mr placid had hit the other kid. then he added the other kid did deserve it though..
i really gave the head a hard time when she was trying the moral lecture...
I dont condone violence, but having suffered as a kid myself, im glad my little one can look after himself..
and yes i did give him a lecture on violence..
Mart
my 9 year old had the same problem, some kid having a go all day...
got my little one in the bogs and was giving it the "gonna get yer routine" anyway he had a pop at my nipper ...
and my nipper had enough and decked him...
when i spoke to his teacher,, he said he couldnt belive my son , mr placid had hit the other kid. then he added the other kid did deserve it though..
i really gave the head a hard time when she was trying the moral lecture...
I dont condone violence, but having suffered as a kid myself, im glad my little one can look after himself..
and yes i did give him a lecture on violence..
Mart
25 September 2003, 10:44 PM
#24
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 4,856
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
i guess the school doesnt have a bully box does it ...a box where kids who are worried about something or being bullied can write it down and post it and the teachers check it daily then can deal with the situations and no one knows you've told on them so no reprisals(sp)
26 September 2003, 10:32 AM
#25
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Casualty or Holby City, Take your pick, it's not like that in real life!!
Posts: 4,086
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Lois, that's a really good idea. Think I will suggest it on Monday morning.
My son has been cr*pping himself since last night at what punishment he's going to get for his behaviour and I've told him it'll just be a few missed break times so not to worry too much.
My son has been cr*pping himself since last night at what punishment he's going to get for his behaviour and I've told him it'll just be a few missed break times so not to worry too much.
26 September 2003, 10:48 AM
#26
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 6,086
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
"The Grumpy Book" FFS!
Shouldnt have an affect on his life I wouldnt think being in the book! Why dont the school deal with it - possibly because they dont want the school to be known for bullying. However I'm sure a quick chat with the Head informing him / her that you will put posters up stating the bullying problem at his / her school and you have contacts in the local / national press will get the Head dealing with it before you've even left the office!
Good luck.
Also agree that martial arts is the way to go - disciplined strength will work wonders! Makes me feel safer walking home from the pub at 2 in the morning!!
Shouldnt have an affect on his life I wouldnt think being in the book! Why dont the school deal with it - possibly because they dont want the school to be known for bullying. However I'm sure a quick chat with the Head informing him / her that you will put posters up stating the bullying problem at his / her school and you have contacts in the local / national press will get the Head dealing with it before you've even left the office!
Good luck.
Also agree that martial arts is the way to go - disciplined strength will work wonders! Makes me feel safer walking home from the pub at 2 in the morning!!
26 September 2003, 10:53 AM
#27
Guest
Posts: n/a
Surely the problem with the bully box is that kids will just make up stories when one of the other kids has upset them. This in my opinion will never work because then you will be taking a kids word for it with no evidence that something happened.
The only way for teachers to get to the bottom of these things is actually get their ar$es out of thier teachers common room drinking coffee and having a chat and actually watch the kids in the playground for once! [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
The only way for teachers to get to the bottom of these things is actually get their ar$es out of thier teachers common room drinking coffee and having a chat and actually watch the kids in the playground for once! [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
26 September 2003, 11:01 AM
#28
Scooby Regular
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Twitching with a camera
Posts: 22,177
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
And what exactly can teachers do about this, eh?
They cannot discipline the children involved at all, because the limp-wristed liberals amongst us have taken away any form of punishment that works. If they even so much as raise their voice to the little sods, they end up in court for mentally abusing the "little angels".
As for this bullying issue - sort it out the old fashioned way, outside school. Afterall, ultimately it is the parents' responsibility to control the children, not the teachers'.
They cannot discipline the children involved at all, because the limp-wristed liberals amongst us have taken away any form of punishment that works. If they even so much as raise their voice to the little sods, they end up in court for mentally abusing the "little angels".
As for this bullying issue - sort it out the old fashioned way, outside school. Afterall, ultimately it is the parents' responsibility to control the children, not the teachers'.
26 September 2003, 11:55 AM
#29
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 840
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Red Dog,
My son (10) went through a very similar experience about a year ago, he was persistantly picked on by this scum bag who was in the year above him, similar 'social parasite' parental situation.
We did everything by the book got the school involved, but the kid and his parents just treated their approaches with contemp and the bully continued. My son then lost it, hit the other kid once right in the face, the school then gets on at me and my son looses break times for a week. But the scum bag has never touched him since, so tell you son not to worry too much, and that his actions were correct. I have told my lad to do the same again if he is being picked on, and I will deal with the school.
My son (10) went through a very similar experience about a year ago, he was persistantly picked on by this scum bag who was in the year above him, similar 'social parasite' parental situation.
We did everything by the book got the school involved, but the kid and his parents just treated their approaches with contemp and the bully continued. My son then lost it, hit the other kid once right in the face, the school then gets on at me and my son looses break times for a week. But the scum bag has never touched him since, so tell you son not to worry too much, and that his actions were correct. I have told my lad to do the same again if he is being picked on, and I will deal with the school.
27 September 2003, 04:09 PM
#30
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Grimsby
Posts: 7,961
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Teachers were not interested when I was a Kid, and they are not now. I was getting beaten by up to 6 at a time and the teachers just called me a baby 
My 15 year old stepson was put in hospital (beaten unconscious) by his class thug because he was in a band FFS. My wife went to sort it and was told the lads father was on the board of governors so nothing would be done! She had to take her son to another school because this kid said he was going to kill him next time.
If it were adults the police would be involved, because its kids they can suffer. Makes my blood boil [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
My 15 year old stepson was put in hospital (beaten unconscious) by his class thug because he was in a band FFS. My wife went to sort it and was told the lads father was on the board of governors so nothing would be done! She had to take her son to another school because this kid said he was going to kill him next time.
If it were adults the police would be involved, because its kids they can suffer. Makes my blood boil [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]