Co-habiting with girl friend - how do you work it regarding bills etc?
24 September 2003, 09:34 PM
#1
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At the moment we live together in my flat after I asked her to move in with me.
What we want to know is how do those of you sort it out with your other half if you are the mortgage payer and property owner? Does ur gf live with you for free or does she pay you a set amount each month for contributions to bills and the mortgage/rent etc?
We both have our own different views on this and although we can work them out together we are both interested to know what other people do in these circumstances to see if either one of us has unfair views.
We both work, but currently my gf only works part time 4 days a week and currently doesn't contribute to any bills etc which I agreed to when she moved in because at the time she wasn't earning anything.
I am also looking at moving soon and obviously want us to stay together and dont need contributions to afford my new place but I still think that its fair I am not paying for everything and my gf contributes something towards bills, even if its only a small amount each month until she has a better job sorted out. We are not fighting over this or anything, its just something we are discussing and thought asking on here would give us some ideas on the best way to work it without one of us thinking the other is being unreasonable.
So what do you folks do/what are your opinions on this?
What we want to know is how do those of you sort it out with your other half if you are the mortgage payer and property owner? Does ur gf live with you for free or does she pay you a set amount each month for contributions to bills and the mortgage/rent etc?
We both have our own different views on this and although we can work them out together we are both interested to know what other people do in these circumstances to see if either one of us has unfair views.
We both work, but currently my gf only works part time 4 days a week and currently doesn't contribute to any bills etc which I agreed to when she moved in because at the time she wasn't earning anything.
I am also looking at moving soon and obviously want us to stay together and dont need contributions to afford my new place but I still think that its fair I am not paying for everything and my gf contributes something towards bills, even if its only a small amount each month until she has a better job sorted out. We are not fighting over this or anything, its just something we are discussing and thought asking on here would give us some ideas on the best way to work it without one of us thinking the other is being unreasonable.
So what do you folks do/what are your opinions on this?
24 September 2003, 09:39 PM
#2
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I pay the mortage, Council Tax, and Insurances, phone, sky, Broadband, the Cars, the .
She pays for Electricity, Gas, TV licence.
We then take shot about to do the shopping.
Worked for the last 5 years.
Think I'm being diddled though LOL
She pays for Electricity, Gas, TV licence.
We then take shot about to do the shopping.
Worked for the last 5 years.
Think I'm being diddled though LOL
24 September 2003, 09:45 PM
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I bought the house that me and the gf live in. She gives me a contribution towards the mortgage. She also pays half of some of the bills and I pay the rest. This was because I was paid a lot more than her and she gave me what she could afford to.
Oh and we split the shopping, but I'm being done on that one, she needs; 3 x hair, 2 x facial, nail, body, plugs, etc, etc, etc I just use soap.
It can be tricky, but seems to be working!
Good luck mate, and remember, they are a strange breed....
[Edited by Buckrogers - 9/24/2003 9:50:45 PM]
Oh and we split the shopping, but I'm being done on that one, she needs; 3 x hair, 2 x facial, nail, body, plugs, etc, etc, etc I just use soap.
It can be tricky, but seems to be working!
Good luck mate, and remember, they are a strange breed....
[Edited by Buckrogers - 9/24/2003 9:50:45 PM]
24 September 2003, 09:50 PM
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I work it on a % basis.
We earn different amounts so pay different amounts.
Example:
I earn £70k, she earns £30k.
Total outgoings = £3000
I pay 70% @ £2100
She pays 30% @ £900
We earn different amounts so pay different amounts.
Example:
I earn £70k, she earns £30k.
Total outgoings = £3000
I pay 70% @ £2100
She pays 30% @ £900
24 September 2003, 10:10 PM
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We're the same as fatherpierre. It's the most common sense logical way if you ask me. You will still end up with more left over, but you will each have an equal percentage left over, which in our case, we can spend on what the hell we want cos we know all the bills are already paid 
24 September 2003, 10:17 PM
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I can see that working but surely thats only if its a joint mortgage for example and you have made that commitment to each other. I'm not sure that can be applied to where one is the mortgage owner and the other has no name on the mortgage at all?
We are not ready for that at the moment, it would be very messy anyway just on the basis I have a large amount of equity from existing place and the girlfriend has none to put in.
We are not ready for that at the moment, it would be very messy anyway just on the basis I have a large amount of equity from existing place and the girlfriend has none to put in.
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24 September 2003, 10:18 PM
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and the good bit is when she leaves you for someone else she is ENTITLED BY LAW to half of what you have, if on the other hand she contributes NOTHING then she leaves with nothing.
24 September 2003, 10:26 PM
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Why not set up a contract where she pays you rent?
That way she's a tennant and once the contract ends is entitled to **** all.
You can then work out the bills between you.
If and when you feel ready to let her closer (financially) you can tear the rent book up.
That way she's a tennant and once the contract ends is entitled to **** all.
You can then work out the bills between you.
If and when you feel ready to let her closer (financially) you can tear the rent book up.
24 September 2003, 10:26 PM
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I earn £70k, she earns £30k.
Total outgoings = £3000
I pay 70% @ £2100
She pays 30% @ £900
WOW, I'd love to live in your household at the end of the month. With a combined income of £100k and £3k going out you must have a nice amount of money left to 'play' with
Total outgoings = £3000
I pay 70% @ £2100
She pays 30% @ £900
WOW, I'd love to live in your household at the end of the month. With a combined income of £100k and £3k going out you must have a nice amount of money left to 'play' with
24 September 2003, 10:39 PM
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Going off-topic slightly, but has anyone here done something like a pre-nup contract with their partner? i.e. if you move in together, after a certain period of time (6/12 months?) you're deemed to be common-law husband/wife. If you split later, she may be able to take you for 50% of everything you have. True, or have I been misled?
Taken to the cleaners was the term appropriate at the time!
24 September 2003, 10:56 PM
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If you are not married then I am pretty certain if things go wrong, then she will not be entitled to anything, assumning you are the mortgagee.
You may be obliged to tell your mortgage company someone over 18 is now living in the property with you, and that person will need to sign the appropriate documentation.
Now, let's wait for the proper answer from a solicitor...
You may be obliged to tell your mortgage company someone over 18 is now living in the property with you, and that person will need to sign the appropriate documentation.
Now, let's wait for the proper answer from a solicitor...
24 September 2003, 11:28 PM
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I am living with my girlfriend and have a joint mortgage.
I earn twice what she earns but we both basically lob our wages into our joint account and then it pay's the bills. Any left either goes onto home improvments (we needs loads) or we spend it on things we want (CD's, DVD's etc.) Some people disagree with the way we do it. Personally I think relationships are about sharing anyway.
I work hard for my money and it brings me as much enjoyment spending it as watching my girlfriend spend it for me. I don't mind either way. We rarely go short of things we want and always manage to pay our bills.
Darren
I earn twice what she earns but we both basically lob our wages into our joint account and then it pay's the bills. Any left either goes onto home improvments (we needs loads) or we spend it on things we want (CD's, DVD's etc.) Some people disagree with the way we do it. Personally I think relationships are about sharing anyway.
I work hard for my money and it brings me as much enjoyment spending it as watching my girlfriend spend it for me. I don't mind either way. We rarely go short of things we want and always manage to pay our bills.
Darren
25 September 2003, 12:22 AM
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Russ - That only applies if there is a person over the age of 17 living in the house when the mortgage is arranged.
My Solution.....
I pay the mortgage
I pay the bills
I pay for both cars
I pay for petrol/servicing/etc etc
I pay her credit card bill every month
I give her about a grand to cover all the other stuff she spends
She keeps the grand she earns for herself.
With the 41p I have left over I save up and buy a can of beer
My Solution.....
I pay the mortgage
I pay the bills
I pay for both cars
I pay for petrol/servicing/etc etc
I pay her credit card bill every month
I give her about a grand to cover all the other stuff she spends
She keeps the grand she earns for herself.
With the 41p I have left over I save up and buy a can of beer
25 September 2003, 08:22 AM
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Its always a hard one. At the moment the girlfriend lives with me in my shared house (me and 1 other lad in detached 4 bed house). I pay all bills other than the weekly tesco shop which we split 50:50. If either of us buys an expensive item then we take that off the bill. I am happy to do this as I was paying all the bills before she moved in and her living her doesnt cost me any more than when I was single.
We are planning to move in properly and buy our own home. We have looked at various options as she has more money for a deposit i.e. she pays more deposit and I pay more by month (as I earn quite a bit more than her). But whatever way you do it, it gets complicated and will be hard to resolve should you split up. So we have decided to go in on equal terms.
A bit different to your situation as you already have a mortgage.
Simon.
We are planning to move in properly and buy our own home. We have looked at various options as she has more money for a deposit i.e. she pays more deposit and I pay more by month (as I earn quite a bit more than her). But whatever way you do it, it gets complicated and will be hard to resolve should you split up. So we have decided to go in on equal terms.
A bit different to your situation as you already have a mortgage.
Simon.
25 September 2003, 08:33 AM
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If you definitely feel you will stay together, and dare I say it - get married [GULP!], then get her contributing as much as she feels comfortable with (provided she doesnt take the ****).
If you have no long term plans with her then either ask her to pay you cash (tricky to explain) that way if she starts fecking around and you split up she would be entitled to a payout (British Justice System ehh!). Keeping it strictly cash in hand will be hard for her to prove should you part company.
I have recently started 'living' with my gf but still retain my own house which I rent out (rooms rather than the whole house). We have started talking longterm so I will start paying half of every expense associated with my gfs place - still quids in cos of the rent I get on my gaff (£800+).
Good luck fella
ps Did you reply to message in 'Bikers' a few days ago?
If you have no long term plans with her then either ask her to pay you cash (tricky to explain) that way if she starts fecking around and you split up she would be entitled to a payout (British Justice System ehh!). Keeping it strictly cash in hand will be hard for her to prove should you part company.
I have recently started 'living' with my gf but still retain my own house which I rent out (rooms rather than the whole house). We have started talking longterm so I will start paying half of every expense associated with my gfs place - still quids in cos of the rent I get on my gaff (£800+).
Good luck fella
ps Did you reply to message in 'Bikers' a few days ago?