Rebound sex
18 August 2003, 04:45 PM
#1
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One night stands and casual sex just for the sake of it, good thing, or bad thing? And useful as a means of getting over someone else, or just a way to end up feeling cheap?
I'd be interested to hear what the women on here think.
I'd be interested to hear what the women on here think.
18 August 2003, 04:54 PM
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i think its great to get over heartache from a previous relationship...however youve got to be careful that you dont become obsessed with that one nighter and confuse them with a means of getting that relationship feeling back again.
You could do it with a total stranger....altho this can, and probably will, in turn make you feel cheap in the long run. But at least you know you wont see them again so dont have to problem of falling for them.
a one nighter with someone you know is a good way of getting over someone and ensuring that you dont feel cheap afterwards. As long as it only happens the once...i dont see the harm. more than once and it could turn into a relationship based only on sex...and that wont go anywhere.
i found the best way to get over someone was to totally cut them out of your life until you were at a point where you were comfortable in yourself to not hold any grudges towards them.
You could do it with a total stranger....altho this can, and probably will, in turn make you feel cheap in the long run. But at least you know you wont see them again so dont have to problem of falling for them.
a one nighter with someone you know is a good way of getting over someone and ensuring that you dont feel cheap afterwards. As long as it only happens the once...i dont see the harm. more than once and it could turn into a relationship based only on sex...and that wont go anywhere.
i found the best way to get over someone was to totally cut them out of your life until you were at a point where you were comfortable in yourself to not hold any grudges towards them.
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18 August 2003, 05:43 PM
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LMAO, not exactly.
Edited 'cos I *know* I am going to regret saying what I originally put!
[Edited by TurboKitty - 8/18/2003 5:47:22 PM]
Edited 'cos I *know* I am going to regret saying what I originally put!
[Edited by TurboKitty - 8/18/2003 5:47:22 PM]
18 August 2003, 06:12 PM
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not a girl, but will comment anyway :P
If it's with a total stranger, then you may well feel bad afterwards, as "why did I do that?" plus there is the possibility of thinking it might lead to something more when it won't at all.
If it's with someone you know, then it's a little different as you know that person, but then again, if you know the person, it might make it more awkward afterwards. Depends how both of you view this type of thing. Some people are totally ok with being able to just have sex with a friend now and then, other people are not. is it right or wrong? well, can't say, as it depends on the people involved. It's about as close as you can get to someone without climbing inside their body (which is plain disgusting, and messy
) and so if it's with someone you know, then it might ease the pain a bit.
The other side is that you might want a quick ****, but the other person get's the wrong idea and wants more, but you don't, so it's a double-edged sword.
Very tricky and emotive subject I think.
As for what would I do? well, the shark in me would say "go for it, boink thier brains out and have fun" the 'real' me though, well, would be very coy and say it's not something I'd discuss this publically.
If it's with a total stranger, then you may well feel bad afterwards, as "why did I do that?" plus there is the possibility of thinking it might lead to something more when it won't at all.
If it's with someone you know, then it's a little different as you know that person, but then again, if you know the person, it might make it more awkward afterwards. Depends how both of you view this type of thing. Some people are totally ok with being able to just have sex with a friend now and then, other people are not. is it right or wrong? well, can't say, as it depends on the people involved. It's about as close as you can get to someone without climbing inside their body (which is plain disgusting, and messy
) and so if it's with someone you know, then it might ease the pain a bit.The other side is that you might want a quick ****, but the other person get's the wrong idea and wants more, but you don't, so it's a double-edged sword.
Very tricky and emotive subject I think.
As for what would I do? well, the shark in me would say "go for it, boink thier brains out and have fun" the 'real' me though, well, would be very coy and say it's not something I'd discuss this publically.
18 August 2003, 06:22 PM
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If BOTH people are after some casual 1 night sex then that's fine
If you have just come out of a relationship i dont think it's a good idea though as my may well live to regret it(in the morning)
IMO i think BLOKES are more likley to deal better with 1 night stands than MOST women as we DONT have feelings
LOL
If you have just come out of a relationship i dont think it's a good idea though as my may well live to regret it(in the morning
)IMO i think BLOKES are more likley to deal better with 1 night stands than MOST women as we DONT have feelings
LOL
18 August 2003, 06:37 PM
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lol @ at the blokes coping with one night stands. tis true for some but not all blokes. I for one am not into one night stands, and no, I'm not about to be clever and say two or three night stands are better . I guess I'm just not the kinda guy that can just **** a girl and wander off, guess I'm a big softie really, plus it might be something to do with the fact that to me sex is more than just sex, like I said, big ol softy shark, that's me 
tis true for some but not all blokes. I for one am not into one night stands, and no, I'm not about to be clever and say two or three night stands are better . I guess I'm just not the kinda guy that can just **** a girl and wander off, guess I'm a big softie really, plus it might be something to do with the fact that to me sex is more than just sex, like I said, big ol softy shark, that's me
18 August 2003, 07:23 PM
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Hey T/Kit try the Rampant Rabbit it works wonders and you don't feel cheap after the event. Not that you should but it takes away doubts you will have.
18 August 2003, 07:23 PM
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I find the idea of a one off **** with a friend utterly bizzare, I just can't get my head round it all...what do you do, just ring em up and ask em... "hi, I'm bored, fancy a ****"?
A one night stand I can understand, with a friend, nooo
Saying that, I'd prolly take owt I can get at the mo, I'm starting to make Cliff Richards look like some sort of sex god
A one night stand I can understand, with a friend, nooo
Saying that, I'd prolly take owt I can get at the mo, I'm starting to make Cliff Richards look like some sort of sex god
18 August 2003, 08:39 PM
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Good thing as long as it doesn't make matters more complicated.
Factors that can make things more complicated include finding out subsequently that the one night standee is:
obsessive/ compulsive/ pet-murdering/ prone to stalking you after the event.
hideously ugly, and all your friends saw you go home with him/ her the night before.
a close relative.
under the age of consent.
a very close friend who assured you, possibly while under the influence of their 7th diamond white, that they were mature enough to accept sex for the sake of gratification alone and it would have no impact on your long term friendship. While this can work (and can be great) personal experience would suggest that this level of maturity is best attempted while sober.
the father/ mother of your child as a result of the encounter.
carrying something that turns your genitals green.
a blabbermouth.
Seriously though, if it seems a good idea while you're sober, it's probably not going to do any harm and might help get things "out of your system". I just very nearly screwed up a 10 year friendship because a friend who was a bit squiffy suggested it might be fun and then bitterly regretted it the next day.
Factors that can make things more complicated include finding out subsequently that the one night standee is:
obsessive/ compulsive/ pet-murdering/ prone to stalking you after the event.
hideously ugly, and all your friends saw you go home with him/ her the night before.
a close relative.
under the age of consent.
a very close friend who assured you, possibly while under the influence of their 7th diamond white, that they were mature enough to accept sex for the sake of gratification alone and it would have no impact on your long term friendship. While this can work (and can be great) personal experience would suggest that this level of maturity is best attempted while sober.
the father/ mother of your child as a result of the encounter.
carrying something that turns your genitals green.
a blabbermouth.
Seriously though, if it seems a good idea while you're sober, it's probably not going to do any harm and might help get things "out of your system". I just very nearly screwed up a 10 year friendship because a friend who was a bit squiffy suggested it might be fun and then bitterly regretted it the next day.
18 August 2003, 08:46 PM
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Bob - a very valid point there. I'm not saying one should just phone up a good friend and ask for a ****, you will more than likley lose that particular friend for good, which is not a good thing at all. i guess it could be some form of extension of a friend 'comforting' you after a break up type thing, as in you kinda end up in bed (or wherever) with them.
I was going to say that for this kind of thing you'd have to be very close friends, but the nature of close friendships tends not to really extend to the odd sexual liasion now and then, however, some people might have such close friends who are ok with this kind of thing. Guess you would only know if you have friends like that if you get into this type of situation, but it's not something you should go looking for unless you are in this situation. I think if you had a friend that was ok with this type of thing then you'd probably know about it anyway.
I was going to say that for this kind of thing you'd have to be very close friends, but the nature of close friendships tends not to really extend to the odd sexual liasion now and then, however, some people might have such close friends who are ok with this kind of thing. Guess you would only know if you have friends like that if you get into this type of situation, but it's not something you should go looking for unless you are in this situation. I think if you had a friend that was ok with this type of thing then you'd probably know about it anyway.