The Search for the UK's Worst Town...
05 May 2003, 09:01 PM
#1
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http://www.idler.co.uk/html/frontsec..._5/england.htm
Some of the descriptions of the places are a) spot on and b) will have you laughing away
Some of the descriptions of the places are a) spot on and b) will have you laughing away
05 May 2003, 09:11 PM
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No surpise lol
Town/Village: Sunderland
Not so much a town as a mortuary. Industry has long departed, leaving the residents to shuffle round the town's meagre consumer options like zombies in a George A Romero movie - while seagulls **** on them.
Town/Village: Sunderland
Not so much a town as a mortuary. Industry has long departed, leaving the residents to shuffle round the town's meagre consumer options like zombies in a George A Romero movie - while seagulls **** on them.
05 May 2003, 09:18 PM
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Workington. So dirty even the seagulls fly backwards to keep the ****e out of their eyes. Inhabitants nylon clad, parking terrible, nightclubs have blu-tack instead of carpets, pavements coated with teenager puke. In short, dull, dirty and sticky - best avoided.
It does have one thing in its favour - its not Barrow....
Colin.
It does have one thing in its favour - its not Barrow....
Colin.
05 May 2003, 09:19 PM
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Hello
Hastings normally wins these things. A place I remember very fondly as my father used to take me there occasionally as a child to play crazy golf.
But having visted in later life (picking up EF Students!!) it is truly awful.
Steve.
Hastings normally wins these things. A place I remember very fondly as my father used to take me there occasionally as a child to play crazy golf.
But having visted in later life (picking up EF Students!!) it is truly awful.
Steve.
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05 May 2003, 11:19 PM
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Hastings is OK.
Seaford and newhaven are right holes, as are some of the medway towns.
Bottom line is, if the Place has a LIDL then you know it's going to be poo! lol
Seaford and newhaven are right holes, as are some of the medway towns.
Bottom line is, if the Place has a LIDL then you know it's going to be poo! lol
05 May 2003, 11:21 PM
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Ahh good, my old home town has made it with a fulsome review...
Town/Village: Wolverhampton
The most attractive thing about Wolverhampton was the multi-story car park on School Street, the roof level of which used to offer attractive rural vistas of Staffordshire, Shropshire and the Wrekin. However, the council knocked it down in the 90s. Now its most attractive feature is an orbital dual carriageway so impossibly difficult to negotiate (unless you're a local) that it actually performs a service to the community by keeping curious outsiders away from this gutter belch of the West Midlands.
Wolverhampton was made a city in 2001, and as the nation shrugged, TV pictures were beamed into every home by way of the 6 o'clock news, showing Wolverhampton's town crier (who reasoned that a testimony to 60s concrete renewal required a town crier?) announcing this momentous event to at least 6 interested residents gathered on Dudley Street in the pissing rain.
According to some, the night life in Wolverhampton has improved in the last few years. Yeah, it's great if you're a suede-headed moron who diligently phones each of your mates in turn before a night out to make sure you aren't all going to be wearing the same colour YSL shirt, before heading down to Yates's to pull a 40 year-old mother-of-5 and punch someone in the face for having a different skin tone to yourself.
Unemployment in Wolverhampton is, of course staggeringly high and the city is so divided along class and racial lines that it is hardly a city at all but a collection of tribal groupings. Some of its outlying suburbs (such as Heathtown) are terrifying concrete wastelands too terrible to describe (Heathtown is where the people of Wolverhampton go to die).
The town has given birth to such talent as Slade and Eric Idle. It's local politicos, whisky-supping sham socialists to the core, have the ruddy faced corpulence of the undeniably corrupt about them.
In the evenings, the smell of hops from Banks's Brewery permeates the town like the stench of a trapped animal slowly decaying in a drain pipe.
Town/Village: Wolverhampton
The most attractive thing about Wolverhampton was the multi-story car park on School Street, the roof level of which used to offer attractive rural vistas of Staffordshire, Shropshire and the Wrekin. However, the council knocked it down in the 90s. Now its most attractive feature is an orbital dual carriageway so impossibly difficult to negotiate (unless you're a local) that it actually performs a service to the community by keeping curious outsiders away from this gutter belch of the West Midlands.
Wolverhampton was made a city in 2001, and as the nation shrugged, TV pictures were beamed into every home by way of the 6 o'clock news, showing Wolverhampton's town crier (who reasoned that a testimony to 60s concrete renewal required a town crier?) announcing this momentous event to at least 6 interested residents gathered on Dudley Street in the pissing rain.
According to some, the night life in Wolverhampton has improved in the last few years. Yeah, it's great if you're a suede-headed moron who diligently phones each of your mates in turn before a night out to make sure you aren't all going to be wearing the same colour YSL shirt, before heading down to Yates's to pull a 40 year-old mother-of-5 and punch someone in the face for having a different skin tone to yourself.
Unemployment in Wolverhampton is, of course staggeringly high and the city is so divided along class and racial lines that it is hardly a city at all but a collection of tribal groupings. Some of its outlying suburbs (such as Heathtown) are terrifying concrete wastelands too terrible to describe (Heathtown is where the people of Wolverhampton go to die).
The town has given birth to such talent as Slade and Eric Idle. It's local politicos, whisky-supping sham socialists to the core, have the ruddy faced corpulence of the undeniably corrupt about them.
In the evenings, the smell of hops from Banks's Brewery permeates the town like the stench of a trapped animal slowly decaying in a drain pipe.
05 May 2003, 11:22 PM
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In fact, so has a place familiar with a number of scoobynetters ..
Town/Village: Sutton
If the Daily Mail were a town, it would be Sutton. The entire place reeks of intolerance, sexual repression and aspirational interior decoration.
A festering carbuncle formed on the extremity of the Victoria Line, Sutton today maintains a large population of unsuccessful middle management commuters, who can be seen of a weekend scurrying around town frantically purchasing home electronics and DIY equipment, desperately trying to anaesthetize the gaping hole in their miserable existences with rabid consumption.
Meanwhile, the local sink estates, virtually unchanged since the slum clearances of the early fifties, provide an endless supply of interchangeable bile-filled-baseball-hatted-white-reeboked-hoop-earinged ****s who would be happy to do you harm if you dare venture into the town centre and the sorry selection of themed sports bars and nightclubs on offer there.
Town/Village: Sutton
If the Daily Mail were a town, it would be Sutton. The entire place reeks of intolerance, sexual repression and aspirational interior decoration.
A festering carbuncle formed on the extremity of the Victoria Line, Sutton today maintains a large population of unsuccessful middle management commuters, who can be seen of a weekend scurrying around town frantically purchasing home electronics and DIY equipment, desperately trying to anaesthetize the gaping hole in their miserable existences with rabid consumption.
Meanwhile, the local sink estates, virtually unchanged since the slum clearances of the early fifties, provide an endless supply of interchangeable bile-filled-baseball-hatted-white-reeboked-hoop-earinged ****s who would be happy to do you harm if you dare venture into the town centre and the sorry selection of themed sports bars and nightclubs on offer there.
05 May 2003, 11:38 PM
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Excellent summary of Sutton.
They also spend their w/e at Croydon IKEA buying hideous nasty "furniture", to go in their lounges which, incidentally, are totally dominated by a huge, plasticky, **** and light covered, vulgar, TV/HiFi set up, which has **** sound and visual quality despite it's size and expense.
They also spend their w/e at Croydon IKEA buying hideous nasty "furniture", to go in their lounges which, incidentally, are totally dominated by a huge, plasticky, **** and light covered, vulgar, TV/HiFi set up, which has **** sound and visual quality despite it's size and expense.
05 May 2003, 11:44 PM
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05 May 2003, 11:44 PM
#16
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06 May 2003, 10:16 AM
#20
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Sorry to say but my home town is the worst - officially.
Newport in south Wales has the highest drink, drugs and violence related crime per had of population in the UK.
Pity because it could be a brilliant city and most of the people are great, but as usual there is s0d all to do in the towns around Newport and we have a large influx of drunken loonies on the weekend who come to fight in our pubs rather than theirs.
Newport in south Wales has the highest drink, drugs and violence related crime per had of population in the UK.
Pity because it could be a brilliant city and most of the people are great, but as usual there is s0d all to do in the towns around Newport and we have a large influx of drunken loonies on the weekend who come to fight in our pubs rather than theirs.
06 May 2003, 12:04 PM
#22
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Slough - couldn't agree more and the description of Croydon is also worringly close to the truth - especially the bit about West Croydon Bus Station. 
Chris
Chris
06 May 2003, 08:28 PM
#28
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Hey Rev, I went to Runcorn once and came back with VD just from stopping at some lights (yes they were red!).
Stoke on Trent a depressed area - certainly.
Stoke on Trent full of mutants - possibly.
Where do I live, Newcastle under Lyme, right next to Stoke, alot of my mates are from Stoke and they are...........................................not mutants.
Shame on you you ransid ********.
SKOOSH.
(Nottingham Forest supporter born in Bradford and raised in South Africa.......No I'm not a racist before you ask).
My vote for ****hole of the earth.....RUNCORN.
Stoke on Trent a depressed area - certainly.
Stoke on Trent full of mutants - possibly.
Where do I live, Newcastle under Lyme, right next to Stoke, alot of my mates are from Stoke and they are...........................................not mutants.
Shame on you you ransid ********.
SKOOSH.
(Nottingham Forest supporter born in Bradford and raised in South Africa.......No I'm not a racist before you ask).
My vote for ****hole of the earth.....RUNCORN.
06 May 2003, 08:32 PM
#29
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Hey Rev, I went to Runcorn once and came back with VD just from stopping at some lights (yes they were red!).
Stoke on Trent a depressed area - certainly.
Stoke on Trent full of mutants - possibly.
Where do I live, Newcastle under Lyme, right next to Stoke, alot of my mates are from Stoke and they are...........................................not mutants.
Shame on you you ransid ********.
SKOOSH.
(Nottingham Forest supporter born in Bradford and raised in South Africa.......No I'm not a racist before you ask).
My vote for ****hole of the earth.....RUNCORN.
BTW......JUST KIDDING MATE...STOKE IS A SH@THOLE.
Stoke on Trent a depressed area - certainly.
Stoke on Trent full of mutants - possibly.
Where do I live, Newcastle under Lyme, right next to Stoke, alot of my mates are from Stoke and they are...........................................not mutants.
Shame on you you ransid ********.
SKOOSH.
(Nottingham Forest supporter born in Bradford and raised in South Africa.......No I'm not a racist before you ask).
My vote for ****hole of the earth.....RUNCORN.
BTW......JUST KIDDING MATE...STOKE IS A SH@THOLE.