Fosters

by 2 similar aged kids in his class.

He's small for his age (asian) and has always been a little nervous, however, since his school moved the only 2 teachers from his class he'd bonded with to other classes and his best mate's moved to switzerland, he's lost the confidence to go and tell the other teachers.

He's not being discernably injured although he is being pushed around and chased. he comes home in a rage and takes it out on the missus and his little bro.

The other parents have been hauled in, but nothing seems to be being done. we are going to complain in writing and try and build casey's confidence to tell a teacher, but it won't be easy going. I know what it's like, but I didn't think it'd start at 4! I personally got so sick of this sort of thing at school (over years this is), I collared the guy in a toilet and beat him against a toilet til he didn't get up - this isn't how it's supposed to be!!

We've taught him not to hit, but if I get my hands on the other kids parents, I won't be a very good example!

I'm fecking mad!

Any other diplomatic ideas please?



[Edited by Fosters - 3/25/2003 1:19:52 PM]

-=Buzz=-

none, go threaten to kick their heads in unless they stop thei children bullying yours - see how THEY like being bullied.

My little boy isnt three yet. I was bullied at school and I WONT let it happen to him, even if I have to collar the little ******* myself and scare the life out of them.

Luke

Lukes serious mode on.


Thats horrible just to read..... Ok kids are kids and these things do happen. But i would put it in writing to the school and the bully's parents.let it start to go through the motions. If the bully's parents dont want to talk to their boy etc.. then you will know what you are up against. If the school wont act.. Threaten to sue them. The quicker it stops the better.

Good Luck.

Teach your boy how to fight..But also teach him when and why.!!! If he has to he should know what to do. Boxing...no "wishiwashiwu" it wont work.

-=Buzz=-

This really really really makes me angry. Sorry if my first post comes across badly, but on this subject I just have a REAL problem controlling my rage when I think of someone hurting my boy - hes the kindest child Ive EVER met, even though Im obviously biased - some ignorant toe rag of a parent is NOT going to make his life miserable by spawning another ****ed up bratt into this world.

FERRARINUTTER

Karate lesson, teach self discipline, inner strength and confidence......and if all else fails Casey will be able to kick seven bells out of the others.......

My little 4 year old daughter has these lessons, though she has far too much confidence but she takes no crap not even from 7/8 year olds.ie waiting in a queue to go down a slide.

If someone pushes in she'll say "Its my turn, out my way", I try to discuss aggression Vs assertiveness, though she is 4, and a swift chop seems to do the trick............

It is worth doing something like this, speak to your local sports centre....All the best

red_dog104

Threaten to take your son out of school until this is dealt with. If its not then tell them you will go to the local press. Worked when I did this when the same was happening to my son.

Badger Stuffer

Kids can be cruel and the teachers at the school need to keep a close eye this and stop it as soon as possible.

Just keep the pressure onthe school and make sure your boy has all of the support hyou can give him.

Ask other parents if their children have been bullied by these kids. There may be a pattern here. Maybe request a meeting with the other children's parents to discuss this matter calmly.

Keep us informed and good luck.

Fosters

it's a tricky one. He WILL at some point be going to some form of lessons - boxing probably.

When he gets to proper school, I'll tell him to drop the other kid first and then run like hell!

At the moment though he's not too good at the subtle distinction of knowing when to back off, run, fight, etc, hence the blanket rule of no hitting, go and tell someone. His confidence has been knocked for six and in september he starts big school (5-7 year olds).

He's a fantastic well behaved boy and my missus constantly gets praise as such, but then some little f*ck goes and ruins it and I'm not going to let it happen to him like it did me.

Letter being delivered tomorrow.

If the teachers don't do anything, can I let him defend himself? will he get in trouble instead? Frank Skinner went through the same ordeal until he stood up to the bully, found he liked it and then mercilessly bullied other kids - isn't that a risk too?!

zero_to60

I came to the sad conclusion that the only thing a bully will respond to is the threat or actual use of force

My daughter is only 3 but also suffered from being bullied by another girl, all petty stuff pushing, not sharing toys...that kind of thing. Things culminated in my daughter getting bitten. This is not acceptable

It's a sad fact that most parents believe their own child is not capable of causing another child misery. In my experience getting the parents involved is useless

The only way to bring this to a halt is for your boy to stand up for himself. I know you said that you don't want him to get violent but I think in this case it's the only option.

I told my daughter that if she was bullied again by this girl she must first say "no" then if that didn't work to use force. I taught her to kick in the shins and use her elbow but....not in the face. I tried to strike a balance here

The next time it happened my daughter stood up for herself and as far as we are aware the issue is now an non-issue

Bullies in all walks of life understand one thing....pain

Sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear but a bully will always pick on someone they perceive to be weak. These days especially the teacher has virtually no disciplinarian powers

At the end of the day it's down to the child to take whatever reasonable steps necessary to protect themselves and if that means giving someone a kick in the shins then so be it

-=Buzz=-

Not if, as it sounds, you have raised a normal human being and not some malicious monster freak

Hope you get it sorted, I'm going to have to stop reading this thread, my blood is boiling - I'd be down there now watching what was going on if it was my boy .....

jjones

paul was rolly out of grange hill!!!!!!

Luke

It is better if your lad gets this sorted for himself. Take him to a club and see what he thinks. One day he might (In this bloody stupid Non bothered police state we live in..) need to give someone a very good couple of punches. The better he is a doing it the safer he will be. BUT he needs the discipline to match it.

I got knocked about at school.. Came home with busted jaw. After a few days and many massive arguements between mum and dad. My dad took me into the garden for days and days and gave me an education. And by god is he qualified.. But he also taught me that if you abuse your fighting skills it goes against you. I left school 24 years ago. In My normal life i have only ever had 3 fights of any discription.I am much happier to run and run.Its so dangerous to fight in todays world.

Anyway on return to school after the Summer Holiday.. I was in a situation with the house bully and dropped him. I remember his face to today... we became mates. he stopped bullying and could never understood why i was the first to hit him!!

[Edited by Luke - 3/25/2003 2:53:52 PM]

-=Buzz=-

Rolly indeed.... get out of here, Honda Boy

Im gonna have to kick your head in now of course Mr Jones.

fast bloke

My Dad taught me to use my head instead of my fists. Plan A was to ignore it and not let them see they have the upper hand. If this failed I reverted plan B.. what we referred to as a 'Glasgow kiss.' If he gets the bully square on the nose with the top of his head he won't have to run.

Foot_Tapper

That is sad when 4 year olds are doing this.

Regacy

My boy's 2.
I'm dreading all this.
I hated school and I'm desperatly trying not to pass on my feelings.
Good luck.